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seana
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#81
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#81
(Original post by MC Hawking IV)
It's cool. It could happen to anyone, so there's no need to feel bad.
I think you are a genuinely good person to be so forgiving. I have total admiration for your exemplary character traits
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MC Hawking IV
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#82
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#82
(Original post by seana)
I think you are a genuinely good person to be so forgiving. I have total admiration for your exemplary character traits
I too have total admiration for your character traits if you look anything like that beyonce picture of yours.
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Airport Fairy
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#83
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#83
(Original post by seana)
hope you have time on ur hands as that is what you will need to get through this.

Kind of, but it's stupid as we've been apart the whole year waiting to spend time with each other again, and then in September he'll be going away again. We have until then. The long distance isn't as bad as it could be. He's 90 minutes away on the train, so if we sort things out, I can go and see him quite often, as I'll be on a gap year with no exams to worry about.
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seana
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#84
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#84
(Original post by Airport Fairy)
Kind of, but it's stupid as we've been apart the whole year waiting to spend time with each other again, and then in September he'll be going away again. We have until then. The long distance isn't as bad as it could be. He's 90 minutes away on the train, so if we sort things out, I can go and see him quite often, as I'll be on a gap year with no exams to worry about.
it is never easy...but see this problem as an opportunity for your relationship to grow and develop. sometimes you have to be selfless for those you love and if all he needs right now is a friend provide that for him...as in a true partner there is a friend, companion and lover. please be patient if you believe he is worth the wait.
I wish you all the best.
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Bitewing
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#85
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#85
(Original post by Airport Fairy)
We're ok on the sex front actually. It's the emotional side where things are difficult. And I do want to bother, because he's important to me.
Cut your losses, it doesn't matter how important he is to you, if he doesn't feel the same way theres nothing you can do about it.
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Trousers
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#86
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#86
A good relationship is worth fighting for - a bad one isn't. You have to work out what is keeping you together, rather than what is tearing you apart. Are you still together because you don't want to be on your own? Is it because everyone else has paired up and you don't fancy being the only single girl? Or is it because you love him?

Ok, once you've established that you're doing this for the right reasons, thoughtfulness goes a long way. What does he like to do? Get him a little present or take him out for the night. If he's not interested in candlelit meals, don't bother. If he's always wanted to go paintballing, do that instead. Etc.

Then you have to talk about it. It's not the easiest thing, but you have to figure out what made your relationship go off the boil. The hardest thing to hear is "I don't fancy you any more", but if that's the case then it's better to admit to it. It could be that he's got so comfortable in the relationship, he feels he doesn't have to make the effort any more. If this is the case, just tell him how you've been feeling.

If you're at the stage where you have to make a serious effort to continue the relationship, a posh meal or a new lingerie set isn't going to make a difference. You have to get to the root of the problem and determine whether he's prepared to sort it out with you. It's no good being in a relationship where you don't work through your problems.
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Elles
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#87
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#87
some good advice here, notably seana & Trousers.

there's a fine line between being satisfied that you put enough effort into saving things & looking back & thinking you wasted too much time..

i've been in a similar situation & i really wouldn't know what to say to anyone else.. as it turns out he decided we should break up & then realised ~2months later once i'd met someone else that he'd made a mistake & was just "confused" & i now wish i'd been stronger in the first place & either confronted him & had that 'talk' & decided what to do about things, or just broken up myself when it was obvious we weren't really feeling the same right then.

but the thing definitely not to let yourself end up in a F-buddy situation (even if objectively speaking it is pretty damn good!) as if you have loved someone or you both feel slightly differently about the situation then emotions just get involved & eventually it'll spoil even the memories of something that was special.

so, if i re-did things i wouldn't go for 'seducing' him..as once it's got to that point you just need to speak honestly. & maybe try the 'taking a break' thing, so you can both think. but..maybe sometimes things just aren't meant to be & i see that now with hindsight even though at the time i felt totally heartbroken.

(although my situation was a little different in that it was more the 'close distance!' uni thing that added to complications)

hope things go well!

x
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Lithium
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#88
Report 15 years ago
#88
(Original post by Pzyko)
Invite him round or wait for him to get home, whichever is appropriate, and tie yourself to your bed about 20 mins before he gets home.
Ya, that would work
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