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    Just out of curiousity, but why do some people always need to be in relationships or have several at a short period of time? I'm not against it but trying to understand. As my boyfriend has had many girlfriends especially during secondary school , I'm not judging but, is it true that some people always look for relationships after one has closed because they are desperate or needy?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just out of curiousity, but why do some people always need to be in relationships or have several at a short period of time? I'm not against it but trying to understand. As my boyfriend has had many girlfriends especially during secondary school , I'm not judging but, is it true that some people always look for relationships after one has closed because they are desperate or needy?
    How serious do you think a relationship in secondary school is?
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    How serious do you think a relationship in secondary school is?
    I know it isn't but i'm just using it as an example, and wondering why people jump into one after another. Just using one that I know about.
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    yes, some people are needy and don't know how to be alone. its one thing to want a relationship, and another to need one. You can only be successfully in love if you're fully acceptive and comfortable in your own skin and circumstances first. As to quantity wise, probably there is no such thing as "too many" - people can casually date which is fine, but it all depends on the circumstances of it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yes, some people are needy and don't know how to be alone. its one thing to want a relationship, and another to need one. You can only be successfully in love if you're fully acceptive and comfortable in your own skin and circumstances first. As to quantity wise, probably there is no such thing as "too many" - people can casually date which is fine, but it all depends on the circumstances of it.
    Fair enough with quantifying it, I agree. And I see your point, I guess it truly depends on the person. I've just seen many who need to be in one because they don't want to be alone and almost like a rebound effect. Of course everyone is different, I've just seen the unhealthy side.
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    I think a good way to approach this is not from a position of judgement. It's easy to accuse someone of being needy or unable to be alone because they date a lot, it's impossible to tell unless you know their reasoning.
    When I became single I met someone new and started dating them just over a month after my previous break-up. It had nothing to do with needing to be in a relationship, in fact I was totally off the idea, but I just met the right person and didn't want to pass up such a spark.

    However, yes. There are some people who simply cannot deal with being single and have to be in a relationship or experience love to be happy. I wouldn't say this is a bad thing until they start dating people just to be with someone, and not because they particularly like the person. It is always the healthiest thing to be capable of being single without feeling needy or lonely, but it isn't bad to really want it.

    Are you worrying about your boyfriend's history?
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    (Original post by PandaCalavera)
    I think a good way to approach this is not from a position of judgement. It's easy to accuse someone of being needy or unable to be alone because they date a lot, it's impossible to tell unless you know their reasoning.
    When I became single I met someone new and started dating them just over a month after my previous break-up. It had nothing to do with needing to be in a relationship, in fact I was totally off the idea, but I just met the right person and didn't want to pass up such a spark.

    However, yes. There are some people who simply cannot deal with being single and have to be in a relationship or experience love to be happy. I wouldn't say this is a bad thing until they start dating people just to be with someone, and not because they particularly like the person. It is always the healthiest thing to be capable of being single without feeling needy or lonely, but it isn't bad to really want it.

    Are you worrying about your boyfriend's history?
    No, I'm not worried and I know about it, I just question if he sees me as serious or different compared to those times. He said how others felt like small test in preparation for the big one (which is me) I just don't know , he doesn't like the idea of leaving but always wants me to stay and try and worth things out.

    But, i understand what you mean and I see both sides like you, I just want to be sure that it isn't some sort of domino effect and someone else can walk in because he finds them really cool and he jumps out of mine to be with them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, I'm not worried and I know about it, I just question if he sees me as serious or different compared to those times. He said how others felt like small test in preparation for the big one (which is me) I just don't know , he doesn't like the idea of leaving but always wants me to stay and try and worth things out.

    But, i understand what you mean and I see both sides like you, I just want to be sure that it isn't some sort of domino effect and someone else can walk in because he finds them really cool and he jumps out of mine to be with them.
    So you're concerned you're just another one in a string of people?

    It's a good sign that he saw the others as like practice runs and describes your relationship as "the big one".

    What do you mean by "he doesn't like the idea of leaving but always wants me to stay and try and work things out?"

    Are you having any relationship problems?

    I realise the worry if your partner was in a lot of relationships before you, especially if it seems like he was hopping, but **** happens. They didn't work out for one reason or another. You have to remember that you are you, you're not those women and he seems to be treating you as a serious relationship. I know it's easy to worry, believe me I worry about every tiny little thing, but you will never be happy if you don't rest and allow yourself to trust and love him and accept his love in return as it is.

    Has he given you any reason to worry or is it just purely because you're scared of losing him?
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    (Original post by PandaCalavera)
    So you're concerned you're just another one in a string of people?

    It's a good sign that he saw the others as like practice runs and describes your relationship as "the big one".

    What do you mean by "he doesn't like the idea of leaving but always wants me to stay and try and work things out?"

    Are you having any relationship problems?

    I realise the worry if your partner was in a lot of relationships before you, especially if it seems like he was hopping, but **** happens. They didn't work out for one reason or another. You have to remember that you are you, you're not those women and he seems to be treating you as a serious relationship. I know it's easy to worry, believe me I worry about every tiny little thing, but you will never be happy if you don't rest and allow yourself to trust and love him and accept his love in return as it is.

    Has he given you any reason to worry or is it just purely because you're scared of losing him?
    I'm scared of losing him knowing that he easily connects with others on a deep level and that it isnt always clear if im more than them. But honestly im content just i know of girls that were upset because they thought he was taking interest whereas he was just being his caring self.

    And if there was a big problem and I tell him theres a chance of me leaving he'll prefer to work it out than to let go. In his own stubborn way. I dont know if he's also scared of losing me that's why he does that.
 
 
 
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