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    Not really sure what advice I'm looking for, other than it will probably make me feel a lot better just for writing this as a form of letting out my frustration.

    I'm a 21-year-old gay male, who has just graduated. Everything should be going well. I was in a two-year relationship until last year, and since then I have been enjoying my single life. Anyway, about ten months ago I decided it would be a good idea to start dating again. The idea of having the closeness of a romantic partner was very nice - its definitely something I want as one-night stands aren't really my thing (don't get me wrong, I have done them, but now I want something with more substance).

    Why am I frustrated? I have dated several guys over the past six months, and each of them have turned out to be f-boys. The two who I thought could lead to something serious, i.e. we got on really well, and spent a lot of time together, but both ended up ghosting me. Turns out each time they were actually dating other people who they ended up preferring, and with hindsight were just using me for sex.

    Like, how do you even avoid this from happening? I'm a genuine honest guy, and obviously if you have tinder it insinuates that you're looking for something meaningful. I'm ok-looking, and guys seem to be attracted to me, but my experience so far seems to highlight a pattern of developing feelings for someone - dating them - having sex - they slowly become more distant - back to square one. I wouldn't sleep with someone if I didn't like them, and I guess I always assume vice-versa but I'm obviously wrong. I also don't however want to blurt out "I'm only looking for a long-term relationship" during the third-date: I may be looking for that, but I'm not going to be full-on either as it makes things too intense.

    But yeah, I guess right now I feel like the 'second-option' which I know I'm not. But meh, guess this happens if you're gay or straight right. Getting me a bit down which is frustrating as I should be the happiest guy ever considering the world of opportunities. I also have anxiety problems too and I do know I get my hopes up very easily and quickly, which is probably a mistake.

    Any advice on how to recognise and avoid ****-boys would be greatly appreciated.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not really sure what advice I'm looking for, other than it will probably make me feel a lot better just for writing this as a form of letting out my frustration.

    I'm a 21-year-old gay male, who has just graduated. Everything should be going well. I was in a two-year relationship until last year, and since then I have been enjoying my single life. Anyway, about ten months ago I decided it would be a good idea to start dating again. The idea of having the closeness of a romantic partner was very nice - its definitely something I want as one-night stands aren't really my thing (don't get me wrong, I have done them, but now I want something with more substance).

    Why am I frustrated? I have dated several guys over the past six months, and each of them have turned out to be f-boys. The two who I thought could lead to something serious, i.e. we got on really well, and spent a lot of time together, but both ended up ghosting me. Turns out each time they were actually dating other people who they ended up preferring, and with hindsight were just using me for sex.

    Like, how do you even avoid this from happening? I'm a genuine honest guy, and obviously if you have tinder it insinuates that you're looking for something meaningful. I'm ok-looking, and guys seem to be attracted to me, but my experience so far seems to highlight a pattern of developing feelings for someone - dating them - having sex - they slowly become more distant - back to square one. I wouldn't sleep with someone if I didn't like them, and I guess I always assume vice-versa but I'm obviously wrong. I also don't however want to blurt out "I'm only looking for a long-term relationship" during the third-date: I may be looking for that, but I'm not going to be full-on either as it makes things too intense.

    But yeah, I guess right now I feel like the 'second-option' which I know I'm not. But meh, guess this happens if you're gay or straight right. Getting me a bit down which is frustrating as I should be the happiest guy ever considering the world of opportunities. I also have anxiety problems too and I do know I get my hopes up very easily and quickly, which is probably a mistake.

    Any advice on how to recognise and avoid ****-boys would be greatly appreciated.
    I'm gay but in LDR with an Italian guy who's going to Cambridge University this year (we found each other by TSR :lol:) but why not try London? Thats gay central, everytime I go there ... I swear I see like 5 really good looking young gays per day there (I'm in neighbour county Kent)
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    (Original post by ckfeister)
    I'm gay but in LDR with an Italian guy who's going to Cambridge University this year (we found each other by TSR :lol:) but why not try London? Thats gay central, everytime I go there ... I swear I see like 5 really good looking young gays per day there (I'm in neighbour county Kent)
    haha I didn't realise TSR could double as a math-maker! That is some good going though
    and yeah maybe London - idk, I just want to meet someone genuine who's ready to 'settle down' too, but seems to be impossible.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    haha I didn't realise TSR could double as a math-maker! That is some good going though
    and yeah maybe London - idk, I just want to meet someone genuine who's ready to 'settle down' too, but seems to be impossible.
    Your in the gayest nation in Europe, your better off than people almost everywhere else. I'd try London.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    haha I didn't realise TSR could double as a math-maker! That is some good going though
    and yeah maybe London - idk, I just want to meet someone genuine who's ready to 'settle down' too, but seems to be impossible.
    It's is - I met my fiancée through TSR (although I'm straight and she's bi).

    I think a problem might be is not a lot of 21 year old want to settle down, regardless of sexuality. Some may have never been romantically or sexually involved either. My brother didn't lose his virginity until he was 23, first GF at 23. Don't see why it would be different for gay guys either?


    Good luck anyway man, you'll find someone. Just go to lots of gay clubs and stuff? Maybe do a tour? Go to a different part of the country once a month and go out?
 
 
 
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