Why didn't you wait/why aren't you waiting? (Premarital sex) Had to repost x

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Reply 60

MrsSheldonCooper

I didn't wait mainly because I was seriously attracted to the guy I lost it to and it just made me feel closer to him.

Reply 61

Anonymous #1

Original post by ~Tara~

I wanted to wait until marriage. Then I worried no one would want to wait that long, especially when they discovered I was damaged goods.

Such a beiatoful state of mind I was in. I was sexually abused for majority of my childhood and I just felt like if I didn't offer it, it would be taken anyway. I still wanted to feel loved though so we waited a month or so.

The hymen is a pointless measure of virginity. I was born without one. Some don't break because they stretch to accommodate the penis and others break when riding horse or bike

'Damaged goods'? I really hate that term. It's so degrading. If anyone saw any other person this way then they are not worth the time.
I'm sorry about what happened to you.
I do too. I wasn't born with one either but it's a term that's been used upon me so frequently that I've taken on the label to avoid taking time to explain to others everything in detail when I'm asked on the topic though I don't agree with the label at all. Overall my focus isn't virginity. You don't have to be what others describe as a virgin to wait, anyone can. Some of my friends who've had sex are waiting, it literally is all about waiting until you've found that special someone that you feel is the one you would like to spend the rest of your life with to share a beautiful experience. In my opinion, it takes a certain guy/girl to be interested in a girl/guy though he/she knows the person is waiting, and for him/her to fall in love with this person though they haven't had sex yet in my opinion says how serious he/she is and how much he/she digs the other person's personality.

This may be harsh but I'm not interested in guys who aren't waiting themselves or aren't opened to the idea when dating me. Because how I see it is, it's only a few years that we have to wait so we could really get to know each other as people and whether or not there's more than ust the physical compared to (if things go well hopefully) a lifetime together for us to enjoy these intimate moments. I mean two years without sex isn't saying 40 years without sex. That's why I could handle a sexless boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because I know I want to get married in the future, I see the benefits but a sexless marriage where we've decided to be monogamous and to spend our lives together, I couldn't ever do, just no. I can understand celibacy in a marriage as unrealistic though I respect that too but hearing waiting until marriage as unrealistic blows my mind. (And not saying you said this, was just referring to the other comments on here in this response)

Reply 62

Anonymous #1

Original post by Tobssss

You don't have to be married to someone to know you love them... Plus lots of married couples still get divorced

Posted from TSR Mobile

I know. And loving someone doesn't necessarily mean that they are good for you or that you'd want to grow old and spend the rest of your life with them. Unfortunately, this happened to someone dear to me. Not going to get into too much detail as it makes me so angry. Let's just say she fell in love with a guy who just wasn't good to her. Played mind games, super manipulative and most likely was/is a confused, sadistic psychopath. They even got engaged at 19 but I thank the lord that he was later exposed for cheating or she would have married a complete monster because of this love I could never understand. Maybe you could call it unrequited love. I don't know. But for me, love isn't enough. That's just my opinion. For me, I would need to feel like this person is good for me, that we could compliment each other and continue a love so passionate. Just my opinion.
The bit in bold though...And?

Reply 63

Anonymous #1

Original post by MrsSheldonCooper

I didn't wait mainly because I was seriously attracted to the guy I lost it to and it just made me feel closer to him.

Aw <3 x

Reply 64

Anonymous #1

Original post by Allie4

i couldn't control myself. it had to happen. if i had to wait until i was married i would have gone crazy.

i've always been pretty highly sexed, have the hormones of a teenage boy so i knew it was going to happen at some point. i lost it at 19 which is amazing considering i was ready to lose it at the age of 14!

Lol it's ok, no judgement xx

Reply 65

Anonymous #4

Original post by Drunk Punx

This isn't Old Testament times. Get yourself away from these poisonous cretins if you ever want to live a happy life where you, not someone else, controls what you do.

I wish

They won't allow me to wear trousers only long skirts (below the knee and downwards)

Reply 66

Anonymous #3

I wish my parents and family weren't so backwards, they cannot be reasoned with and they'll get me married off to a guy who has similar thinking to them :frown:

I feel so bleak about my life :frown:

My mum regardless of what you tell her believes the hymen breaks during sex, she says it did for all her sisters and her but j tried to tell her that was probably a tear to the vaginal wall because the guy was being forceful.
I don't want to wait until marriage but they've instilled such a fear in me that I can't bring myself to have sex outside marriage now even if I wanted to :frown:

Reply 67

Anonymous #3

And only the type of man that they want me to marry would wait until marriage to have sex, any other guy (ie non Muslim) would not wait unless they were a devout Christian but my parents would let hell freeze over before they allowed me to marry a Christian :frown:

I hate my life. I hate that they think they're being caring and have my best interests at heart when all they're doing is making me miserable

Reply 68

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I hate my life. I hate that they think they're being caring and have my best interests at heart when all they're doing is making me miserable

I'm sorry about your situation. But in my opinion, sex shouldn't define a relationship either. There are advantages of waiting and there are men out there who are willing to try new things, especially if they really like you and see interest. Waiting is more common than you think, not popular but more common that most people think. In my opinion, more people would speak openly about it if society wasn't portrayed in certain way i.e super sex driven, etc etc I've even spoken to some atheists online male and female who have no beliefs/lack beliefs in any deity but have chosen to wait. I think we should take out the notion that only religious people wait because this is a stereotype that isn't true. Majority are religious but not ALL. Also it's your life. I'm not Muslim or religious but at the same time I think you should evaluate why you believe something, is it because of your parents or do you truly hold dear to these beliefs? Just something to think about.

Reply 69

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I hate my life. I hate that they think they're being caring and have my best interests at heart when all they're doing is making me miserable

Reply 70

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I wish

They won't allow me to wear trousers only long skirts (below the knee and downwards)

Wow! Yea, this is why religion isn't for me. I guess it all comes down to interpretation also as I've met Christians with different beliefs on various matters.

Reply 71

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

Wow! Yea, this is why religion isn't for me. I guess it all comes down to interpretation also as I've met Christians with different beliefs on various matters.

Basically in my church women are not allowed to wear trousers, jewelry (except wedding rings and a watch), make up and have to wear a skirt below the knee

Also in my church we're not allowed to have boyfriends/girlfriends, you're not allowed to date only courtship

I'm sick and tried of people asked me why I wear skirts all the time it's so embarrassing :frown: