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Think ive lost her- PLEASE help
Ok, this post could be gigantic but i'll try to keep it focussed.
Basically this girl is on my sponsorship placement and we really liked eachother. We wanted to live together with others but ended up together alone because the 2 bedroomed flat was the nicest.
She's very religious and has beliefs like no sex before marriage. Another is not being able to data non believers- its got her into trouble with past relationships.
Before we moved in we met up hyde park and it was lovely- even though she said we're going to have to be friends we ended up kissing. That week i met her parents, stayed over her parents house and then we drove down to sign the contract for flat.
Even though that day we had a mini tiff about being just friends, we ended up in the same bed that night (nothing more than kissing), but we did end up kissing and cuddling in bed for like 3 hours- it felt so special.
The next week i wasnt there, but a guy walked her home one night and she told him who i was- that we were 'practically married' together.
The next time i moved down she was adament we'd remain just friends- but we did still end up cuddling lots. Then one evening we all went out and i misheard her saying about meeting a guy at a wedding- turned out to be a famous comedian she hoped would be there. She couldnt believe i would think she would want to meet someone else. We had a massive arguement about not being together and i felt she had been going off me. It turned out it was the opposite and she was trying to control her feelings because of her beliefs. After this arguement i thought she wanted us to move apart. The next week we had a few mini arguements- me trying to find out what hurt her so much from the main arguement- because she had been crying all day the next day AND missed church on the sunday being so tired from crying on the saturday.
For the next 2 weeks she literally ignored me, wouldnt stay in the flat and be with me- purposely went out so she didnt have to face me. She told me everytime she saw me it just reminded her of how much i hurt her. In the original arguement i said if i was gonna be too upset then i wouldnt bother staying and i would head back home, jacking in the work experience. She felt this was emotional blackmail but i never meant it to be.
I went away for 9 days and said i wouldnt stay in contact to give her space. I told her i know why shes acted like she did- meeting a guy she REALLY liked but couldnt be with because of her beliefs. She said nothing, implying i was correct. She just said give her time and i was happy. Problem is, even though i thought she liked someone else (she didnt) she told me it was none of my business if she did meet someone else- this hurt.
I returned after 9 days and she was also coming back that day, she text me to let me know when she;'d be home. The next day however we had a talk and she told me basically we'd never be together. It still felt however that she was hurt and possibly saying all this to persuade herself. She said she knows im not a bad person, 3 weeks ago she wanted to kill me whenever she saw me. At the moment she just see's me and thinks nothing. I was slightly hurt but hoping she was just still hurt deep down.
That night however she text me to say she was meeting up wit ha guy from work because he was leaving in 3 days to go on holiday. It felt asif she was making sure in the text i didnt get the wrong idea. Then the next morning i was walking to the train station as she drove past (she never returned hom that night but i think she may have drank and not been able to drive home). As soon as she saw me she had a massive smile on her face. After a minute of driving past she phoned me and when no answer left a text asking if i was heading to the station.
I cant understand her adamence of never being together ever again, yet the way she seems to still want me to know what shes doing. Is she just still hurting and trying to play down her feelings? Do you think in time she'll realise it was all a big fuss? Sometimes it feels asif she breaks character, forgetting to hate me and act like we used to, asif she's purposely trying to persuade herself she doesnt like me anymore.
im worried whether i should give her more space- on the other hand i dont want her forgetting the good things. she already said she doesnt remember anything good, but surely thats jibberish?
Basically this girl is on my sponsorship placement and we really liked eachother. We wanted to live together with others but ended up together alone because the 2 bedroomed flat was the nicest.
She's very religious and has beliefs like no sex before marriage. Another is not being able to data non believers- its got her into trouble with past relationships.
Before we moved in we met up hyde park and it was lovely- even though she said we're going to have to be friends we ended up kissing. That week i met her parents, stayed over her parents house and then we drove down to sign the contract for flat.
Even though that day we had a mini tiff about being just friends, we ended up in the same bed that night (nothing more than kissing), but we did end up kissing and cuddling in bed for like 3 hours- it felt so special.
The next week i wasnt there, but a guy walked her home one night and she told him who i was- that we were 'practically married' together.
The next time i moved down she was adament we'd remain just friends- but we did still end up cuddling lots. Then one evening we all went out and i misheard her saying about meeting a guy at a wedding- turned out to be a famous comedian she hoped would be there. She couldnt believe i would think she would want to meet someone else. We had a massive arguement about not being together and i felt she had been going off me. It turned out it was the opposite and she was trying to control her feelings because of her beliefs. After this arguement i thought she wanted us to move apart. The next week we had a few mini arguements- me trying to find out what hurt her so much from the main arguement- because she had been crying all day the next day AND missed church on the sunday being so tired from crying on the saturday.
For the next 2 weeks she literally ignored me, wouldnt stay in the flat and be with me- purposely went out so she didnt have to face me. She told me everytime she saw me it just reminded her of how much i hurt her. In the original arguement i said if i was gonna be too upset then i wouldnt bother staying and i would head back home, jacking in the work experience. She felt this was emotional blackmail but i never meant it to be.
I went away for 9 days and said i wouldnt stay in contact to give her space. I told her i know why shes acted like she did- meeting a guy she REALLY liked but couldnt be with because of her beliefs. She said nothing, implying i was correct. She just said give her time and i was happy. Problem is, even though i thought she liked someone else (she didnt) she told me it was none of my business if she did meet someone else- this hurt.
I returned after 9 days and she was also coming back that day, she text me to let me know when she;'d be home. The next day however we had a talk and she told me basically we'd never be together. It still felt however that she was hurt and possibly saying all this to persuade herself. She said she knows im not a bad person, 3 weeks ago she wanted to kill me whenever she saw me. At the moment she just see's me and thinks nothing. I was slightly hurt but hoping she was just still hurt deep down.
That night however she text me to say she was meeting up wit ha guy from work because he was leaving in 3 days to go on holiday. It felt asif she was making sure in the text i didnt get the wrong idea. Then the next morning i was walking to the train station as she drove past (she never returned hom that night but i think she may have drank and not been able to drive home). As soon as she saw me she had a massive smile on her face. After a minute of driving past she phoned me and when no answer left a text asking if i was heading to the station.
I cant understand her adamence of never being together ever again, yet the way she seems to still want me to know what shes doing. Is she just still hurting and trying to play down her feelings? Do you think in time she'll realise it was all a big fuss? Sometimes it feels asif she breaks character, forgetting to hate me and act like we used to, asif she's purposely trying to persuade herself she doesnt like me anymore.
im worried whether i should give her more space- on the other hand i dont want her forgetting the good things. she already said she doesnt remember anything good, but surely thats jibberish?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 2
Forgot to add -we've got 6-7 weeks left living together. I cant just forget it all because we work together, live together and have the same friends. It feels like ive only got this time to sort the problem until i never see her again. On the other hand i think if she wanted to kill me 2 weeks ago, what will she feel in another 2 weeks? Shes very stubborn and erratic. We've got 50-60 years left of our lives so i should look at it that way.
I asked her once if she was falling in love with me and her answer was very hesitant. She jus tsaid she doesnt think shes ever been in love and didnt know me enough.
I asked her once if she was falling in love with me and her answer was very hesitant. She jus tsaid she doesnt think shes ever been in love and didnt know me enough.
Reply 3
Forgot to add -we've got 6-7 weeks left living together. I cant just forget it all because we work together, live together and have the same friends. It feels like ive only got this time to sort the problem until i never see her again. On the other hand i think if she wanted to kill me 2 weeks ago, what will she feel in another 2 weeks? Shes very stubborn and erratic. We've got 50-60 years left of our lives so i should look at it that way.
I asked her once if she was falling in love with me and her answer was very hesitant. She jus tsaid she doesnt think shes ever been in love and didnt know me enough.
I asked her once if she was falling in love with me and her answer was very hesitant. She jus tsaid she doesnt think shes ever been in love and didnt know me enough.
Reply 4
To be honest, I think you're very lucky to have what you have with her. The cuddling and kissing you mentioned near the beginning sounds great. Just don't take it for granted. The only advice I'd give is don't put pressure on yourself and on her. With only 6-7 weeks left together, I'd say enjoy the time you have left.
Hope that helps and I hope it all works out for you
petrolhead
Hope that helps and I hope it all works out for you
petrolhead
Don't force it when it's religion. Either respect her beliefs enough to find out what it is, for her, or leave her be because she cannot be with you as long as she wants to be faithful to her beliefs and who she is. If you choose to find out more for her sake, or you choose to leave her - both would show respect for her beliefs, because you're not forcing her to do something she feels wrong about.
It's not "just a big fuss" - that religion, whatever it is, is part of who she is. She's simply very very torn over what to do because she seems to like you so very much, yet she feels wrong about getting with you and wants to be faithful to her beliefs, yet the thought of losing you breaks her heart.
Do her a favour - if you really cared about her, either convert to her religion to be with her, OR leave her and accept that you could only be friends. Neither would be wrong of you to do. If she keeps changing her mind when she clearly wants to stick with her religion - that much is clear - then you will have to be the one adamant about not pursuing her, not being too intimate with her, and staying just good friends. Do that because you care so much for her. Otherwise, find out more about her religion to see if it's right for you and if so, convert. Find out about her religion for her sake, if you're willing. Those are the only two options I can really see without her being unfaithful to who she is. And if you feel finding out more about her religion for her sake is being unfaithful to who you are, then leave her be.
In the end, if you two have conflicting views due to religion, the likelihood of clashes when it comes to being in an actual relationship will be much higher, and therefore the likelihood of the relationship working out is also much slimer.
I think I understand how she feels, because I decided not to pursue things further with a major serious crush two years ago because he's agnostic and I'm Christian, and I only date Christians (religious reason). In the end I still got drawn into kissing him etc etc, but I had to finish it in the end because I couldn't bear to be so unfaithful to the God who loves me. You don't have to understand this God part - it was just part of my reasoning and how I felt. And to be quite honest, it hurt an awful lot afterwards but it was the right move, and 2 years down the line I'm now with someone who's Christian and who suits me so well, and looking back I realised that crush wasn't suitable for me anyway. He's a nice guy - but he wasn't good for me personally. But nonetheless you could say I led him on, in a sense, because I couldn't help being drawn to him and wanting to be close to him, and the very idea of not being with him broke my heart that I'd cry night after night after night after night, just crying so hard. She's probably too scared to decide and it hurts too much to not be with you, but at the same time she feels that she has no choice and that she cannot be with you. So yeh, just don't force these things.
It's not "just a big fuss" - that religion, whatever it is, is part of who she is. She's simply very very torn over what to do because she seems to like you so very much, yet she feels wrong about getting with you and wants to be faithful to her beliefs, yet the thought of losing you breaks her heart.
Do her a favour - if you really cared about her, either convert to her religion to be with her, OR leave her and accept that you could only be friends. Neither would be wrong of you to do. If she keeps changing her mind when she clearly wants to stick with her religion - that much is clear - then you will have to be the one adamant about not pursuing her, not being too intimate with her, and staying just good friends. Do that because you care so much for her. Otherwise, find out more about her religion to see if it's right for you and if so, convert. Find out about her religion for her sake, if you're willing. Those are the only two options I can really see without her being unfaithful to who she is. And if you feel finding out more about her religion for her sake is being unfaithful to who you are, then leave her be.
In the end, if you two have conflicting views due to religion, the likelihood of clashes when it comes to being in an actual relationship will be much higher, and therefore the likelihood of the relationship working out is also much slimer.
I think I understand how she feels, because I decided not to pursue things further with a major serious crush two years ago because he's agnostic and I'm Christian, and I only date Christians (religious reason). In the end I still got drawn into kissing him etc etc, but I had to finish it in the end because I couldn't bear to be so unfaithful to the God who loves me. You don't have to understand this God part - it was just part of my reasoning and how I felt. And to be quite honest, it hurt an awful lot afterwards but it was the right move, and 2 years down the line I'm now with someone who's Christian and who suits me so well, and looking back I realised that crush wasn't suitable for me anyway. He's a nice guy - but he wasn't good for me personally. But nonetheless you could say I led him on, in a sense, because I couldn't help being drawn to him and wanting to be close to him, and the very idea of not being with him broke my heart that I'd cry night after night after night after night, just crying so hard. She's probably too scared to decide and it hurts too much to not be with you, but at the same time she feels that she has no choice and that she cannot be with you. So yeh, just don't force these things.
Reply 6
well she is a religious person and values her beliefs very higlhly compared to most things and that can be a flaw in her personality that you will have to understand and learn to live with. Me coming from a religious family knows this and she does seem to really like you if she keeps notifiying you of everything she does...this is to show you that she still cares for you and doesnt want you to drift away from her.
I know youve heard this time and time again but just give her one week and she wil come and talk to you about your relationship and the trust you hae for one another...bcause that's how the argument began in the beginnning. Not saying that you were wrong in asking why she is liking other men and wanting to meet them.
But once you prove to her that you trust her....then the cuddling and kissing can happen agin in time
all you have to do is prove a way that you show trust for her and that you dont doubt her actions.....i know she needs re-assurance because she keeps telling you the full sotry instead of a short snippet of what she is doing with male company.
Just do it at the appropiate time and all will be well
I know youve heard this time and time again but just give her one week and she wil come and talk to you about your relationship and the trust you hae for one another...bcause that's how the argument began in the beginnning. Not saying that you were wrong in asking why she is liking other men and wanting to meet them.
But once you prove to her that you trust her....then the cuddling and kissing can happen agin in time
all you have to do is prove a way that you show trust for her and that you dont doubt her actions.....i know she needs re-assurance because she keeps telling you the full sotry instead of a short snippet of what she is doing with male company.Just do it at the appropiate time and all will be well
Reply 7
Personally, after reading all of that, my advice is to give her some space to think and be herself and not jump to conclusions. I think she likes the idea that she has freedoms, say to see other men without you jumping down her throat all the time and also you should respect her morals and her ideals, because in doing so, you're respecting who she essentially is! And that is the most important thing ever! If it doesn't work out, just think of what you'd like to be remembered as... and make sure it's not because of you, it didn't work out. I have a feeling you're being tested in some way. Give her the space she needs because what i think is that she thinks that you're going too fast for her liking and she just wants you to slow down, possibly. Don't think she's ready for it yet, and she might be embarrased by her actions :/ Pretty early kissing there to be honest. Also you can't be sure of what her parents think, and they're quite influential.
Mmm, i can try and empathize with you but it can only go so far. My advice is to give her some space and see how it works out. Let her think about it and be sure about what she does before she does it. Though, i'm pretty sure that she's not with another man and probably ever will because of her beliefs, you may have been her first and she isn't comfortable with it or being around you now that the relationship between you two means something. Basically, what i'm trying to say inarticulately is she most likely has feelings for you but is just confused!
Best of luck and I do hope everything works out.
Confusing world we live in!
Too see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
Blake
Mmm, i can try and empathize with you but it can only go so far. My advice is to give her some space and see how it works out. Let her think about it and be sure about what she does before she does it. Though, i'm pretty sure that she's not with another man and probably ever will because of her beliefs, you may have been her first and she isn't comfortable with it or being around you now that the relationship between you two means something. Basically, what i'm trying to say inarticulately is she most likely has feelings for you but is just confused!
Best of luck and I do hope everything works out.
Confusing world we live in!
Too see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
Blake
Reply 8
If she values her religion above human beings or human feelings, there's not a lot you can do. It sounds from your description like she does really like you, but is torn by the unnatural demands of her religion. My advice would be to leave well alone - stay friends with her, but avoid anything romantic. If she changes her mind, then great, but if she doesn't, do you really want a relationship with someone who loves a cruel god more than they love you?
Reply 9
petrolhead
To be honest, I think you're very lucky to have what you have with her. The cuddling and kissing you mentioned near the beginning sounds great. Just don't take it for granted. The only advice I'd give is don't put pressure on yourself and on her. With only 6-7 weeks left together, I'd say enjoy the time you have left.
Hope that helps and I hope it all works out for you
petrolhead
Hope that helps and I hope it all works out for you
petrolhead
we're not kissing and cuddling anymore- that was before the arguement. since then she was ignoring me for 2 weeks, treatin me like a stranger. after the 9 day break she seemed to be slightly more chilled, but still texts me a lot considering she wanted to kill me.......
Reply 10
Seconded to what the rest said, I would just back off a bit.
Reply 11
to the other guys who replied:
i completely respect her beliefs- i even said i would go to church with her to learn more about what she believed (this was before we argued, when we first found out we liked eachother). shes said it'd be silly if i did it for her, to be honest i am interested in it for myself but i'd be lying if i said i wasnt doing it for her.
im hoping we can go church together and she can talk to me about things she ant with others.
it just hurt me when she said on monday we'll never be together ever- im hoping she was just upset, like i said she is erratic and has said things she didnt mean in the past......
EDIT: We're both back at our parents for the next 5-9 days so im gonna give her more space. i just hope those good memories didnt really disappear and she said it to help herself!
i completely respect her beliefs- i even said i would go to church with her to learn more about what she believed (this was before we argued, when we first found out we liked eachother). shes said it'd be silly if i did it for her, to be honest i am interested in it for myself but i'd be lying if i said i wasnt doing it for her.
im hoping we can go church together and she can talk to me about things she ant with others.
it just hurt me when she said on monday we'll never be together ever- im hoping she was just upset, like i said she is erratic and has said things she didnt mean in the past......
EDIT: We're both back at our parents for the next 5-9 days so im gonna give her more space. i just hope those good memories didnt really disappear and she said it to help herself!
love2learn7
to the other guys who replied:
i completely respect her beliefs- i even said i would go to church with her to learn more about what she believed (this was before we argued, when we first found out we liked eachother). shes said it'd be silly if i did it for her, to be honest i am interested in it for myself but i'd be lying if i said i wasnt doing it for her.
im hoping we can go church together and she can talk to me about things she ant with others.
it just hurt me when she said on monday we'll never be together ever- im hoping she was just upset, like i said she is erratic and has said things she didnt mean in the past......
EDIT: We're both back at our parents for the next 5-9 days so im gonna give her more space. i just hope those good memories didnt really disappear and she said it to help herself!
i completely respect her beliefs- i even said i would go to church with her to learn more about what she believed (this was before we argued, when we first found out we liked eachother). shes said it'd be silly if i did it for her, to be honest i am interested in it for myself but i'd be lying if i said i wasnt doing it for her.
im hoping we can go church together and she can talk to me about things she ant with others.
it just hurt me when she said on monday we'll never be together ever- im hoping she was just upset, like i said she is erratic and has said things she didnt mean in the past......
EDIT: We're both back at our parents for the next 5-9 days so im gonna give her more space. i just hope those good memories didnt really disappear and she said it to help herself!
Well, sounds good that you're willing to go to church and even better that it's partly personal interest as well. In the end, going to church for her is ok I think, but please don't become a "Christian" just to date her. If you decide to convert/believe, you gotta do it cus you actually do. Don't convert to a religion for anyone, but there's no harm in finding out.
Good luck. I know a girl from church who has a similar thing as you now, wouldn't date non-Christians, and the guy went to church and actually became a Christian and now those two are dating very happily. It could work.
Reply 14
bikerx23
If your religious beliefs are significantly different it will be as good as impossible, so I would consider that if I were you.
Other than that, prostate yourself and be honest with her - it's the best way in the end.
Other than that, prostate yourself and be honest with her - it's the best way in the end.
i'd never disagreed on anything she believes- im simply learning.
Im more worried about the arguement side of this, than the religion. It appears something REALLY hurt her and its taking ages to heal. I really hope she realises everybody argues and if you're going to have an arguement- having one about your feelings is much better than something silly.
First, dont make her choose between you and her religin because you will probably get hurt and if she did choose you she would regret it.
I think if you give her space but still let her know you care. Perhaps send her the odd text or something, however do not bring up the relationship topic. Get your friendship back on track properlly (sp)
When you both return, give her a friendly kiss on the cheek and a hug but let it stop at that and act as friends after, not as partners! Dont attemt to give her anymore kisses for a few days. You will tell if she likes you in the way that you want because she will want more of the affection. i dont know what has really happened or what is going through her mind when she told you that there will never be anything. theonly thing i can think of is that she feels guilty about being with you because of her faith. (not all christian belive the not dating non believers. It is in the bible but not everyone follows it.)
Dont go to church because you want to be with her. Especially if you dont believe. It could be insulting to those who do believe.
Good Luck!
Jane
I think if you give her space but still let her know you care. Perhaps send her the odd text or something, however do not bring up the relationship topic. Get your friendship back on track properlly (sp)
When you both return, give her a friendly kiss on the cheek and a hug but let it stop at that and act as friends after, not as partners! Dont attemt to give her anymore kisses for a few days. You will tell if she likes you in the way that you want because she will want more of the affection. i dont know what has really happened or what is going through her mind when she told you that there will never be anything. theonly thing i can think of is that she feels guilty about being with you because of her faith. (not all christian belive the not dating non believers. It is in the bible but not everyone follows it.)
Dont go to church because you want to be with her. Especially if you dont believe. It could be insulting to those who do believe.
Good Luck!
Jane
Reply 16
Jsk
First, dont make her choose between you and her religin because you will probably get hurt and if she did choose you she would regret it.
I think if you give her space but still let her know you care. Perhaps send her the odd text or something, however do not bring up the relationship topic. Get your friendship back on track properlly (sp)
When you both return, give her a friendly kiss on the cheek and a hug but let it stop at that and act as friends after, not as partners! Dont attemt to give her anymore kisses for a few days. You will tell if she likes you in the way that you want because she will want more of the affection. i dont know what has really happened or what is going through her mind when she told you that there will never be anything. theonly thing i can think of is that she feels guilty about being with you because of her faith. (not all christian belive the not dating non believers. It is in the bible but not everyone follows it.)
Dont go to church because you want to be with her. Especially if you dont believe. It could be insulting to those who do believe.
Good Luck!
Jane
I think if you give her space but still let her know you care. Perhaps send her the odd text or something, however do not bring up the relationship topic. Get your friendship back on track properlly (sp)
When you both return, give her a friendly kiss on the cheek and a hug but let it stop at that and act as friends after, not as partners! Dont attemt to give her anymore kisses for a few days. You will tell if she likes you in the way that you want because she will want more of the affection. i dont know what has really happened or what is going through her mind when she told you that there will never be anything. theonly thing i can think of is that she feels guilty about being with you because of her faith. (not all christian belive the not dating non believers. It is in the bible but not everyone follows it.)
Dont go to church because you want to be with her. Especially if you dont believe. It could be insulting to those who do believe.
Good Luck!
Jane
hi
i said from the start when i first learnt she was christian (way before the arguement) i would go to church with her. it just means slightly more now because its the only thing i feel we can get close with. however i do actually enjoy going and i havent been with her yet.
im hoping she can accept me as a believer too
just for the record (im not sure if you realised) for the last 3-4 weeks we havent kissed, cuddled, been in the same room (bar once or twice) she's literally purposely kept herself away from the flat so she doesnt have to be around me.
It sounds as though you have a lot you need to get off your chest TO HER! if you think she won't listen maybe write her a letter or something? tell her how you feel about her, how you feel about her beliefs etc, how you respect them bascially get her up to date on exactly how you feel. that puts the ball in her court cos she'll know where she stands with you and it just leaves her to decide where you stand with her which seems to to be the main problem anyway. hope that makes sense? As for you going to church thing? you must know with a gut feeling whether you believe in God at all? maybe you should do an alpha course or something which will help you make up your mind, but as others have said maybe don't involve her in it too much.
Reply 18
The Strangest Quark
If she values her religion above human beings or human feelings, there's not a lot you can do. It sounds from your description like she does really like you, but is torn by the unnatural demands of her religion. My advice would be to leave well alone - stay friends with her, but avoid anything romantic. If she changes her mind, then great, but if she doesn't, do you really want a relationship with someone who loves a cruel god more than they love you?
UNNATURAL?? You think a woman saving herslef fro her husband and not giving out blowjobs like candy is UNNATURAL!??. This irl in question obviously has a lot of dignity and honour, and for you to deny her that and say what she is doing is "unnatural" shows what type of person you are.
Cruel God? Using the normal meaning and assumptions of the Lord "God", I can say that a "cruel God" is merely an oxymoron. Learn more about religion before you start criticising anyones belief.
Reply 19
sahsum
It sounds as though you have a lot you need to get off your chest TO HER! if you think she won't listen maybe write her a letter or something? tell her how you feel about her, how you feel about her beliefs etc, how you respect them bascially get her up to date on exactly how you feel. that puts the ball in her court cos she'll know where she stands with you and it just leaves her to decide where you stand with her which seems to to be the main problem anyway. hope that makes sense? As for you going to church thing? you must know with a gut feeling whether you believe in God at all? maybe you should do an alpha course or something which will help you make up your mind, but as others have said maybe don't involve her in it too much.
she knows i really like her and care about her, just from the sounds of it she hasnt got over whatever has made her upset. its like i wouldnt want to ask her right now what she thought because i know it wouldnt be great. she's literally seen me as the enemy. im hoping as she loses the hurt and anger she'll realise she took this too far and perhaps she sees that i do believe in god- perhaps things will be better.
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