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    So Iv been with my boyfriend now for 14 months. And for the past week we've been a bit rocky, and we went to this party and for the sake of our relationship I asked him not to take drugs and he did. He lied about it, broke a promise and then panicked and tried to breakup with me. Were good now I guess. But he said I can be controlling, but I'm not I just care. He wants to go on a lads holiday next year (being 18) and although I'm not comfortable with it he's going away, and I told him to have a good time. I sometimes feel he does stuff to just be a "lad" and "fit in". He was never like this when I first met him and now I just don't know what to do. Plus we don't do that much when we see each other, it's always the same thing. We both love each other so i just need advice, like how to spice up the relationship slightly? Or just make it a little better. I know this can work I just don't know what to do
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    (Original post by Emeliaaaaa)
    So Iv been with my boyfriend now for 14 months. And for the past week we've been a bit rocky, and we went to this party and for the sake of our relationship I asked him not to take drugs and he did. He lied about it, broke a promise and then panicked and tried to breakup with me. Were good now I guess. But he said I can be controlling, but I'm not I just care. He wants to go on a lads holiday next year (being 18) and although I'm not comfortable with it he's going away, and I told him to have a good time. I sometimes feel he does stuff to just be a "lad" and "fit in". He was never like this when I first met him and now I just don't know what to do. Plus we don't do that much when we see each other, it's always the same thing. We both love each other so i just need advice, like how to spice up the relationship slightly? Or just make it a little better. I know this can work I just don't know what to do
    Your not controlling him, but his pathway seems doughy I'd try to help him prevent, if she doesn't then go. If he wants to break up let him, ignorant teenager trying to control you.
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    (Original post by Emeliaaaaa)
    So Iv been with my boyfriend now for 14 months. And for the past week we've been a bit rocky, and we went to this party and for the sake of our relationship I asked him not to take drugs and he did. He lied about it, broke a promise and then panicked and tried to breakup with me. Were good now I guess. But he said I can be controlling, but I'm not I just care. He wants to go on a lads holiday next year (being 18) and although I'm not comfortable with it he's going away, and I told him to have a good time. I sometimes feel he does stuff to just be a "lad" and "fit in". He was never like this when I first met him and now I just don't know what to do. Plus we don't do that much when we see each other, it's always the same thing. We both love each other so i just need advice, like how to spice up the relationship slightly? Or just make it a little better. I know this can work I just don't know what to do
    when you say drugs what do you mean as most people dabble at that age even I'll admit to it
    as like a bit of pot is entirely different to say ketamine or cocaine
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    (Original post by Emeliaaaaa)
    So Iv been with my boyfriend now for 14 months. And for the past week we've been a bit rocky, and we went to this party and for the sake of our relationship I asked him not to take drugs and he did. He lied about it, broke a promise and then panicked and tried to breakup with me. Were good now I guess. But he said I can be controlling, but I'm not I just care. He wants to go on a lads holiday next year (being 18) and although I'm not comfortable with it he's going away, and I told him to have a good time. I sometimes feel he does stuff to just be a "lad" and "fit in". He was never like this when I first met him and now I just don't know what to do. Plus we don't do that much when we see each other, it's always the same thing. We both love each other so i just need advice, like how to spice up the relationship slightly? Or just make it a little better. I know this can work I just don't know what to do
    You say he loves you yet he breaks his promises and knowingly makes you uncomfortable... If he truly loved you he would not lie, would prioritise his relationship with you over fitting in, or at least put your mind at ease. You say that you can make it work too, but what if this continues for years and you slowly become miserable ?
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    (Original post by mcneill98)
    You say he loves you yet he breaks his promises and knowingly makes you uncomfortable... If he truly loved you he would not lie, would prioritise his relationship with you over fitting in, or at least put your mind at ease. You say that you can make it work too, but what if this continues for years and you slowly become miserable ?
    I know and he said he wouldn't do it again. He just wants me to let him do what he wants, but he said he would never cheat and I believe him. I just don't know why he's wanting to go on the lads holiday so badly? And I don't know why he would lie Or make me feel uncomfortable, I feel like I trust him slightly less, I'm trying really hard and I don't know what to do
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    (Original post by Emeliaaaaa)
    I know and he said he wouldn't do it again. He just wants me to let him do what he wants, but he said he would never cheat and I believe him. I just don't know why he's wanting to go on the lads holiday so badly? And I don't know why he would lie Or make me feel uncomfortable, I feel like I trust him slightly less, I'm trying really hard and I don't know what to do
    Well this isn't how a relationship should be. It's normal for him to want to do his own thing, independence and trust are important here but even if he does his own thing, he shouldn't hurt you. Maybe you two are just too different to be together.
    The lads holiday, as a guy i'll say this doesn't sound great. Was it his idea ?
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    (Original post by mcneill98)
    Well this isn't how a relationship should be. It's normal for him to want to do his own thing, independence and trust are important here but even if he does his own thing, he shouldn't hurt you. Maybe you two are just too different to be together.
    The lads holiday, as a guy i'll say this doesn't sound great. Was it his idea ?
    Well he keeps saying to me that I "have to understand that he wants to go away with his friends" and he said that there will be drinking and drugs, but he said he wouldn't cheat. I was speaking to one of his friends, who is my firmed also, and he said they're not exactky the most responsible. Even when I told my boyfriend I was comfortable with the holiday, he still made a chat, and has been so persistent with it. It's like, what would he be doing differently if I wasn't there, and we just end together? I don't want to sound controlling so I just let him do his own thing from now on, even though it may hurt me, It's hard
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    You dont love each other. Nothing credible is going to come of your relationship.

    It's just your turn with him. It's just his turn with you.

    You'll be unto new people soon.

    Just keep banging until one of you gets bored or cheats.
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    (Original post by RooshV)
    You dont love each other. Nothing credible is going to come of your relationship.

    It's just your turn with him. It's just his turn with you.

    You'll be unto new people soon.

    Just keep banging until one of you gets bored or cheats.
    Hate to say it but I agree with RooshV here, apart from the last banging part... If you want that, go ahead but I think it's immature of RooshV to just assume everyone's desperate for sex.
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    (Original post by mcneill98)
    Hate to say it but I agree with RooshV here, apart from the last banging part... If you want that, go ahead but I think it's immature of RooshV to just assume everyone's desperate for sex.
    I don't recall saying anyone is desperate for sex.

    Lots of love, bro
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    It sounds to me like he is more interested in still being one of the lads. Maybe being in a relationship seems a bit too serious and grown up for him, and although he cares for you deeply, he might not be ready. The fact he can't wait to go away with his mates instead of be with you speaks volumes i'm afraid. It's just his age; he's too young. Literally and maybe emotionally too.
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    (Original post by Emeliaaaaa)
    So Iv been with my boyfriend now for 14 months. And for the past week we've been a bit rocky, and we went to this party and for the sake of our relationship I asked him not to take drugs and he did. He lied about it, broke a promise and then panicked and tried to breakup with me. Were good now I guess. But he said I can be controlling, but I'm not I just care. He wants to go on a lads holiday next year (being 18) and although I'm not comfortable with it he's going away, and I told him to have a good time. I sometimes feel he does stuff to just be a "lad" and "fit in". He was never like this when I first met him and now I just don't know what to do. Plus we don't do that much when we see each other, it's always the same thing. We both love each other so i just need advice, like how to spice up the relationship slightly? Or just make it a little better. I know this can work I just don't know what to do
    Sounds like you are doomed and in for a whole lot of grief to me. Id find someone more suitable that was more interested in an actual relationship and less selfish.
 
 
 
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