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    I am entering second year in university with the following
    • Having no friends
    • avoiding a girl who basically insulated i was autistic
    • basically doing first year modules again as i changed course
    • living in a attic studio flat by myself (it looks crap)
    I am considering dropping out of uni because my disability has gotten worse as well as my anxiety and the fact that having these conditions make my career goal a fantasy. Why not now you ask? because a little faith in me says i should stick it out whereas i know i'm doomed. My problem is if i drop out, i face a hostile bullying from my parents, which they may force me back to my home country or being unemployed because my anxiety will no longer let me have a job lasting a week.

    I have been going to a church for a few weeks which i have become fond with and even though im not really a christian (I see myself as Agnostic Theist), i'm thinking of dropping out, moving into the city where the church is based at instead of being at home and work my way up to being an Assistant (a helper) in the church (see how stupid this is just sounding).

    I don't know whats wrong with me but the truth is i don't want to continue with uni. Social Anxiety is a ***** as well as my special needs and sadly uni has made my condition worse.
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    sigh
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    Did you join any societies at uni?
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    This is pretty normal ngl

    It's easy to fall of the rails, and hard to stay on track. Don't just give up - put yourself out there and make friends as a first goal. Many people I know only make their good friends in second/third year, rarely all the way from first year, so don't feel as if there's no time for that.

    You've already taken the first steps in ensuring you're doing what you want to do by changing course - WELL DONE! A stupid person would continue with what they hate, but you've already taken the hardest step - so wait it out, give it your all with an open mind - because what you may be studying could be your passion (it was for me - I considered giving up but then on the same day I went into a Middle East and China lecture which became my passion/speciality!)

    Living by yourself can be nice, and it's no excuse to not make friends. Especially if your socially nervous, it's good to have a retreat at the end of the day! Worse case scenario you're there for a year, and then you can move out. Try to make your flat as homely as possible with decorations and things that make you feel at home. Any empty flat is gonna feel/look like absolute s***, it's only made homely when you make the effort.

    DON'T GIVE UP UNLESS ALL COMPLETELY FAILS, WHICH IT HAS NOT!!!! There is still plenty of time to have fun and get to know loads of people, unis are big and full of opportunity so don't just abandon it all now because you're in a bad place. DON'T become some church helper if that's feels wrong, do something you're actually passionate about and be guided by that, not by depression and anxiety. Try and seek medical help and psychiatry if it's getting worse, my sister did that and now she's so much happier because of it.There's absolutely no shame in it. I believe in you, so you have someone who thinks you can do it. Now prove me right.
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    (Original post by OrdinaryStudent)
    Did you join any societies at uni?
    yeah i did but i didn't belong to any them and i think they all saw me as irreverent
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    (Original post by rolaah)
    This is pretty normal ngl

    It's easy to fall of the rails, and hard to stay on track. Don't just give up - put yourself out there and make friends as a first goal. Many people I know only make their good friends in second/third year, rarely all the way from first year, so don't feel as if there's no time for that.

    You've already taken the first steps in ensuring you're doing what you want to do by changing course - WELL DONE! A stupid person would continue with what they hate, but you've already taken the hardest step - so wait it out, give it your all with an open mind - because what you may be studying could be your passion (it was for me - I considered giving up but then on the same day I went into a Middle East and China lecture which became my passion/speciality!)

    Living by yourself can be nice, and it's no excuse to not make friends. Especially if your socially nervous, it's good to have a retreat at the end of the day! Worse case scenario you're there for a year, and then you can move out. Try to make your flat as homely as possible with decorations and things that make you feel at home. Any empty flat is gonna feel/look like absolute s***, it's only made homely when you make the effort.

    DON'T GIVE UP UNLESS ALL COMPLETELY FAILS, WHICH IT HAS NOT!!!! There is still plenty of time to have fun and get to know loads of people, unis are big and full of opportunity so don't just abandon it all now because you're in a bad place. DON'T become some church helper if that's feels wrong, do something you're actually passionate about and be guided by that, not by depression and anxiety. Try and seek medical help and psychiatry if it's getting worse, my sister did that and now she's so much happier because of it.There's absolutely no shame in it. I believe in you, so you have someone who thinks you can do it. Now prove me right.
    Well, thats why im having little faith. I'm thinking of sticking it out until christmas. I'm giving out a time limit to see if things will improve or not.

    I have tried seeking help but is not the help that i think it will help me. I'm still looking hard from the GP which options are there
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    Helping out at church is a noble and rewarding activity - I highly recommend you give it a go. And regarding university, there is no shame in leaving. If God wishes for you to take a different path in life, then you should take that path knowing that God is with you every step of the journey.

    If you do stay at university, why not join the Christian society? They will accept you with warm and open arms.
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    (Original post by Quiet Benin)
    Well, thats why im having little faith. I'm thinking of sticking it out until christmas. I'm giving out a time limit to see if things will improve or not.

    I have tried seeking help but is not the help that i think it will help me. I'm still looking hard from the GP which options are there
    Trust me when I say that they are GPs do really help! Don't just join the Church because you think some God will save you, it's far more realistic to take medicine and discuss your problems with professionals to get the problem you have sorted out.
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    (Original post by #ChaosKass)
    Helping out at church is a noble and rewarding activity - I highly recommend you give it a go. And regarding university, there is no shame in leaving. If God wishes for you to take a different path in life, then you should take that path knowing that God is with you every step of the journey.

    If you do stay at university, why not join the Christian society? They will accept you with warm and open arms.
    I can't socialise. I'm trying to change this but it has not worked. I went to christian church society but i couldn't make friends and the ones who i was talking to criticised my social communication
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    (Original post by Quiet Benin)
    Well, thats why im having little faith. I'm thinking of sticking it out until christmas. I'm giving out a time limit to see if things will improve or not.

    I have tried seeking help but is not the help that i think it will help me. I'm still looking hard from the GP which options are there
    You really have to put your self out there, I know a lot of times people wont approach you so you have to make the effort. I'm sure once people get to know you, you will make lots of friends.
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    (Original post by #ChaosKass)
    Helping out at church is a noble and rewarding activity - I highly recommend you give it a go. And regarding university, there is no shame in leaving. If Nicolas Cage wishes for you to take a different path in life, then you should take that path knowing that Nicolas Cage is with you every step of the journey.

    If you do stay at university, why not join the Christian society? They will accept you with warm and open arms.
    Just on a tangent: I disagree with this whole-heartedly. If you decide to drop out, you drop out because that's your decision - not because some god chose your path in life. You control your destiny, and not everything has to happen for a reason.
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    (Original post by Quiet Benin)
    I am entering second year in university with the following
    • Having no friends
    • avoiding a girl who basically insulated i was autistic
    • basically doing first year modules again as i changed course
    • living in a attic studio flat by myself (it looks crap)
    I am considering dropping out of uni because my disability has gotten worse as well as my anxiety and the fact that having these conditions make my career goal a fantasy. Why not now you ask? because a little faith in me says i should stick it out whereas i know i'm doomed. My problem is if i drop out, i face a hostile bullying from my parents, which they may force me back to my home country or being unemployed because my anxiety will no longer let me have a job lasting a week.

    I have been going to a church for a few weeks which i have become fond with and even though im not really a christian (I see myself as Agnostic Theist), i'm thinking of dropping out, moving into the city where the church is based at instead of being at home and work my way up to being an Assistant (a helper) in the church (see how stupid this is just sounding).

    I don't know whats wrong with me but the truth is i don't want to continue with uni. Social Anxiety is a ***** as well as my special needs and sadly uni has made my condition worse.
    Hello there ,

    First of all, I am sorry to hear about the experience you have had - the best advice at the end of the day is, you've got to do what feels right to you. That's what university is all about - no one (and I understand that your parents do from what you've said) can tell you what to do when it comes to university - I know it's easier said than done but university is really all about you!

    I'd say if you feel you want to stick it out, stick it out but don't presume that you are doomed. Just think to yourself than you CAN do this and you WILL do this. You said you've been attending church and that has been helping you - have you reached out to the support systems at university? There are plenty in place to help you and they are usually good to help with anxiety as a lot of students develop anxiety during university. I developed anxiety near the end of my second year and straight out I spoke to my university and they were fantastic help - I'd suggest doing this if you haven't already.

    - Having no friends; if you've changed course there is a potential to meet new friends. Invite people for drinks, or to go out for the day or to study - if you are willing to make the effort, people will make the effort back. Also, have you tried joining a society with something you are interested in? This could help you in this area!
    - The girl; don't think that you are avoiding her. She's out of your life and you want nothing to do with her so don't actively avoid her, just know she has nothing to do with your life and live your life.
    - First year modules; it doesn't matter that you've changed course, embrace the new start and work hard.
    - Attic studio; if it looks crap, do whatever it takes to make it look nice and so that you feel comfortable.

    Don't look at all of this negatively, it's not all doom and gloom but it will be if you keep telling yourself that.
    Really try to see the silver lining.

    Best of luck
 
 
 
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