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    Just finished my first yr of med school...failed 4 exams out of 12 and gotta do a qualifying exam in 3 days, which if i fail i'll get kicked out, unless i appeal.
    problem: i'm not nearly prepared for it...ask me why? i love med school.. i feel so happy doing the course, no other one would suit me better...
    but the main problem is that believe it or not, at the med school i'm in, i'm the victim of bullying. i formed a group of friends who i thought were nice.. and they r not.. basically, one of the girls accuses me of liking her bf just because we used to talk a lot and believe me i don't..and they always make me feel left out...they make me feel down about myself...they insult me directly, esp the boy that i was close with...at lecture theatres every morning he used to insult me in front of everyone calling me fat and ugly... very immature i know and i didnt think that ppl at uni could be this cruel..

    i have tried making new groups of friends but each time, my original "friends" butt in and start spreading rumours about me...saying that ppl of my race are "sly"

    basically, all this bullying made me lose hope and i wanted to drop out of the thing that i loved doing the best and wanted to just find another uni that will let me percieve my dream of becoming a doc...

    i'm so depressed and so stuck because i've been so upset that everytime i've sat down to study i just start crying or it doesn't go in my head. thats why i failed my june exams and i'm not prepared for the qualifying one..

    i don't know what to do.. i know this is immature but it really gets me down... maybe its my fault for being sensitive but believe me i've tried to ignore it and make new friends, and i've tried confronting them and now i hate my med school and i don't want to go back there again... but i want to do medicine...

    someone please give me guidance... thank u
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    any1 plz?
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    Change uni. Your 'friends' seem pretty evil and they're just dragging you down and making you depressed.

    Also if they're making racist comments about you can't you refer that to somebody? It's all completely disgusting behaviour and nobody deserves it. From what you've written it seems the only way you're going to be rid of them is to change uni entirely, so maybe that's what you have to do.
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    If you don't pass the qualifying exam then perhaps when you appeal you could explain that the reason you weren't able to perform to the best of your ability is because you are being bullied. Hopefully then, the bullying problem might be able to be resolved, or if not maybe you could move to a different university and start over. I think its awful that there making you feel so upset and that its affecting your studies so much, if you need a chat or anything just pm me.
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    U know, sometimes i feel that i am being way too sensitive... but only i know how it feels...

    its not physical harm so sometimes i don't even know whether i can call it bullying.. but the thing is that they make me feel left out on purpose. there are 2 girls and 1 boy... the boy is the one that always puts me down by calling me fat and ugly, and humiliating me all the time...

    the girls don't insult me, but they always insult gujerati people (i am gujerati) despite the fact that the boy is gujerati himself!! but it is racism, they say that the girls are worse and that gujerati girls are sly and *****y... and its not only gujerati people that they are racist towards...they make harsh comments about other races too... i don't understand how such judgemental people are going to be treating patients in the future...

    in response to blondevalkyrie, i wish i could say that to the committee but i can't because i have no evidence. they will obviously take each others side, and they are never racist in public, its only been in front of me and each other.
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    You can't just bottle stuff up and hope it will go away, because it never does. the friends situation is hard, can't you tell them to **** off? I mean not letting you make new friends just makes them big meanies! I think if you think things are getting too bad then go and talk to your uni counsellor.
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    I think there is evidence though, because you do medicine so I’m assuming at GCSE and A Levels you got the top grades and did excellent in all your exams aswell as in extra-curricular activities etc. Whereas now all of a sudden despite still having the passion for medicine and your enthusiasm for the course, you haven't done so well in 4 of your exams... because of those bullies. The committee should have no reason not to believe you, esp. as you make a good point about them treating patients in the future when there so judgemental and prejudice!
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    Mmm ok then....

    I think you should approach your Lecturer/Head of Medicinal studies immediately! Also I think you shoudl egt in contact with who ever it is that deals with student liasion & Councilling - NOW. Evidence or not you are being bullied.
    Rascism is not acceptable and just because a person or persons are not physically attacking you it does not mean you are not being a victim of bullying. They are being sly by attcking your ethnic origin (gujerati) and that of other races.
    This boy is clearly in denial of his own heritage - Plonka!

    By letting yourself fail these exams you are letting these bullies win!
    You love Med School - WHY should YOU change schools or get thrown off a course that YOU LOVE just because of the ignornace and malice of a 3 people???

    You have three days - FOCUS.

    Deep down you have more admiral qualities than any of these 3 people possess and would make a better medical professional than those 3 put together!
    Nothing is unachieveable - You just need to pass this one exam, even if you just scrape though you are giving yourself that second chance.
    DONT PANIC!!! Get out a piece of paper and a pen, draw yourself up a revision quota for the next three days. Get organised and then go for it!
    The night before the exam dont stay up late cramming, get an early night, have a bath, read a book with a glass of milk or something, relax and go to sleep early. The next day you will feel rejuvenated and ready to go.

    If worst comes to the worst and you have failed, tell the appeal everything! You would a fool to let go something as great as a place on a Medicine Course by not telling the University everything in your appeal case. Let them know JUST HOW BAD you want to stay at University.

    Go for it and say a big **** YOU to those bullies! Good Luck!!
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    Hmm, kicking you out for failing 4/12 exams seems very harsh. At BL, we get to retake what we fail in September, and if we fail and promise to try harder, we get to retake the year. But anyway, I guess there's not a lot you can do about their system, other than appeal. You obviously do have extenuating circumstances. :hugs:

    Anyway, I really have quite a good idea of what you're going through. I'm totally dreading going back too. Transferring to another med school, especially preclinically, is really hard though. So we basically have to stick it out.

    Are you living with these people next year? I hope not. I'm not sure whether living alone and having few [close] friends is better than living with supposed friends who actually aren't very nice (insulting or not). It's pretty rubbish, huh.

    But, there is no reason you should fail your exam in 3 days. You're obviously clever enough to be there, and I think that means you're clever enough to learn enough to pass that exam. Actually, I'm sure you're clever enough to pass it. Just try to completely forget the other people at med school and concentrate on learning for your exam. Everytime your mind starts to wander with one form of revision, do another form.. and so on. (Be it reading wikipedia/ powerpoints/ colouring in anatomy/ taking notes)

    Good luck!
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    Are you living with these people next year? I hope not.
    unfortunately i am... we got a house together in december, i didnt know that they were this bad at the time..

    i really want a transfer... i can't take it at this med school honestly i can't :'( its bad enough getting paranoid about people talking behind your back.. its worse when they call u names out of spite EVERY SINGLE DAY (not an exaggeration) and make u feel down and cuss gujerati people in front of ur face... i can't be friends with such medics...and i really don't want to stay...if i do, it means that i HAVE to live with them...

    also, sorry if i'm being silly but what med school are u at? u said BL...i'm not sure what that stands for..sorry
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    unfortunately i am... we got a house together in december, i didnt know that they were this bad at the time..

    i really want a transfer... i can't take it at this med school honestly i can't :'( its bad enough getting paranoid about people talking behind your back.. its worse when they call u names out of spite EVERY SINGLE DAY (not an exaggeration) and make u feel down and cuss gujerati people in front of ur face... i can't be friends with such medics...and i really don't want to stay...if i do, it means that i HAVE to live with them...

    also, sorry if i'm being silly but what med school are u at? u said BL...i'm not sure what that stands for..sorry
    That's awful I'm living with someone who really doesn't like me too, but they're pretty quiet about it.

    As said, I don't think you can transfer. Courses are too different across the country, I mean you can ask, but it's pretty unheard of I'm at Barts and the London btw, where are you?

    You *can* take it at your med school. You could think about seeing if someone's willing to move into your room and you rent somewhere else. If you don't see these people, they will stop bothering you. Even if they spread crap, people will believe you over them, they really will. Have you tried standing up to them? It seems like they've been walking over you because 'they can' and they might stop if they saw they couldn't do it. That's not to say it's your fault at all, it's all theirs, but I think yelling at them to grow up and eff off might make a difference.

    Anyway, it's just a year, if you decide to still live with them, you should confront them and then you can just avoid them for the year. Ignore any of their stupid comments and concentrate on your work (and then do much better than them in the exams!) Make sure you do clubs and societies as well, as it's really important for MTAS.
    • #2
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    Bloody hell, you guys (with the exception of KarlZ) are crazy. Don't potter about with this, especially with Uni on the line. Go to whoever is in charge and tell them about the bullying asap. All uni's won't tolerate it and i'm sure however you do in your exams it'll come into context when your lecturers etc know whats been happening. Even better than that, i'm sure your Uni will sort out the problem. You shouldn't need to transfer, the bullies need to be chucked out of Uni. It'll probably be difficult to tell them, but don't hesitate with this. Its not worth risking your exams over. Good luck
 
 
 
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