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    I don't think I'm anti-social, I'm selectively social, like I like my own space, I can quite easily chill with people in a room and have a drink and a laugh but clubs? No way. I don't know what it is I just don't find them that great... I'm sort of the same with drinking, I can have one or two, but then after that I don't really see the point, you know I've had two I don't really need to drink now.

    So as you can imagine from reading that, I wasn't too thrilled when I discovered my four flat mates are incredibly social. They've already bought these wristbands that give them access to a huge number of events, and are asking me if I've bought mine yet.

    They're 55 quid, and to be honest it would be a huge waste of money buying it as I wouldn't go to even a quarter of the things it gets you into. At the same time, I don't want to isolate myself from the get go, I'm happy to chill with people in the flat but clubs aren't my thing, and it seems like they're only interested in clubs from what I've worked out.

    Am I alone? Any tips? I could try but clubs are just miles out of my comfort zone...

    Thanks in advance

    Edit: the main concern really is whether I'm pushing myself out the friendship group literally before I've even moved in. It doesn't help also that due to certain circumstances I move in two days later than them as well.
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    (Original post by somevirtualguy)
    I don't think I'm anti-social, I'm selectively social, like I like my own space, I can quite easily chill with people in a room and have a drink and a laugh but clubs? No way. I don't know what it is I just don't find them that great... I'm sort of the same with drinking, I can have one or two, but then after that I don't really see the point, you know I've had two I don't really need to drink now.

    So as you can imagine from reading that, I wasn't too thrilled when I discovered my four flat mates are incredibly social. They've already bought these wristbands that give them access to a huge number of events, and are asking me if I've bought mine yet.

    They're 55 quid, and to be honest it would be a huge waste of money buying it as I wouldn't go to even a quarter of the things it gets you into. At the same time, I don't want to isolate myself from the get go, I'm happy to chill with people in the flat but clubs aren't my thing, and it seems like they're only interested in clubs from what I've worked out.

    Am I alone? Any tips? I could try but clubs are just miles out of my comfort zone...

    Thanks in advance

    Edit: the main concern really is whether I'm pushing myself out the friendship group literally before I've even moved in. It doesn't help also that due to certain circumstances I move in two days later than them as well.
    Nothing says you have to be best friends with your flatmates and plenty of people aren't. It might be worth reaching out to others who aren't interested in clubbing to get to know and joining societies with interests more aligned to yours.
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    (Original post by somevirtualguy)
    I don't think I'm anti-social, I'm selectively social, like I like my own space, I can quite easily chill with people in a room and have a drink and a laugh but clubs? No way. I don't know what it is I just don't find them that great... I'm sort of the same with drinking, I can have one or two, but then after that I don't really see the point, you know I've had two I don't really need to drink now.

    So as you can imagine from reading that, I wasn't too thrilled when I discovered my four flat mates are incredibly social. They've already bought these wristbands that give them access to a huge number of events, and are asking me if I've bought mine yet.

    They're 55 quid, and to be honest it would be a huge waste of money buying it as I wouldn't go to even a quarter of the things it gets you into. At the same time, I don't want to isolate myself from the get go, I'm happy to chill with people in the flat but clubs aren't my thing, and it seems like they're only interested in clubs from what I've worked out.

    Am I alone? Any tips? I could try but clubs are just miles out of my comfort zone...

    Thanks in advance

    Edit: the main concern really is whether I'm pushing myself out the friendship group literally before I've even moved in. It doesn't help also that due to certain circumstances I move in two days later than them as well.
    Hello ,

    You have literally described my biggest pet-peeve that is written on multiple threads on the daily. The bottom line is this you DO NOT have to drink or club or party.
    Drinking and clubbing and partying are not the foundations of what build friendships at university - it's stereotypical a big part of it and what is highlighted most but it isn't all there is. There are so many more social events and gatherings that you can attend and enjoy - it isn't all about drinking. No one is going to judge you for your decision not to drink or club - you can still enjoy time with your flatmates in other ways and if they really do have a problem (which they shouldn't because no one is that shallow at university) then it doesn't matter. Just because you live with these people doesn't mean you have to be best friends with them - you'll make friends on your course or through societies and other social events - you will be fine.

    Stop worrying yourself about something small and insignificant because by doing so, you're making it bigger and overbearing and it'll ruin the start of university for you.

    Enjoy university at your pace and be comfortable but do bear in mind at the same time that university is about self-discovery and pushing yourself a little to do new things to help you grow as a person.

    Good luck
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    (Original post by JustGeorgeJ)
    Hello ,

    You have literally described my biggest pet-peeve that is written on multiple threads on the daily. The bottom line is this you DO NOT have to drink or club or party.
    Drinking and clubbing and partying are not the foundations of what build friendships at university - it's stereotypical a big part of it and what is highlighted most but it isn't all there is. There are so many more social events and gatherings that you can attend and enjoy - it isn't all about drinking. No one is going to judge you for your decision not to drink or club - you can still enjoy time with your flatmates in other ways and if they really do have a problem (which they shouldn't because no one is that shallow at university) then it doesn't matter. Just because you live with these people doesn't mean you have to be best friends with them - you'll make friends on your course or through societies and other social events - you will be fine.

    Stop worrying yourself about something small and insignificant because by doing so, you're making it bigger and overbearing and it'll ruin the start of university for you.

    Enjoy university at your pace and be comfortable but do bear in mind at the same time that university is about self-discovery and pushing yourself a little to do new things to help you grow as a person.

    Good luck
    Thank you for this!
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    OK you don't have to drink and you have other options - you can try and make friends with your flat without drinking and you can meet people through your course/societies where the focus will be less on alcohol

    HOWEVER you will isolate yourself initially if you don't go clubbing... the fact is that the first few weeks clubbing is a huge thing and people ar concerned about missing out so don't want to do much else and if you don;t see your flatmates for three weeks there's a good chance they will have bonded without you by that point - I would really advise you to go clubbing at first and just accept that it's a couple of weeks and it's an investment in your friendships - once you've been out a few times you can suggest doing some non-drinking things or more relaxed drinking (like a pub quiz)
 
 
 
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