Hi,I'm 20 years old and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now but haven't felt comfortable losing my virginity for fear it will cause me so much pain. As well as this, there's something in my head telling me he will not be able to physically fit. This probably sounds quite absurd but I can't bring myself to change my way of thinking.My boyfriend has questioned why I don't feel ready yet and I've told him straight up that I fear the pain too much. Although he tells me he has no problem with waiting 'until I'm ready', I feel like I never will be unless I somehow get over this. Does anyone have any suggestions to lessen the pain or prepare myself in any way for the first time? My friends say how much of a pleasurable experience it is, but I only see it as a painful one Thanks for any advice!
Fearful of the pain when losing my virginity Watch
- Thread Starter
- 01-09-2016 16:08
- 01-09-2016 16:14
It doesn't hurt that much, more like piercing your ear or something. As for it fitting, maybe try some toys? Build yourself up to it. There are really thin and small ones and as long as you don't push it in too deep you won't pop the cherry. So you can start with something small and build yourself up to it
- Community Assistant
- 01-09-2016 18:13
Yes, some practice, initially solo so you are in complete control, is probably the way forward. If the idea of one of your own fingers is too much, then it's talking to your GP or a sexual health clinic time.
- 02-09-2016 20:45
I agree with practicing solo first.
You could also visit the nurse/gyno for advice.
As for your first time -
- always make sure you're lubricated enough. If you feel dry, don't force it. Sex is meant to be fun, so take everything slowly. Use lube if you need to.
-Never do anything you don't feel comfortable with and take your time. Foreplay is important for preparing yourself. Your boyfriend seems really understanding which is good
- start with you on top. Don't leave it to him to control the movement. If you're on top (cowgirl position) you will be able to be as slow as you like and can stop at any time.
I've known people who've said that their first time didn't hurt at all.
The main thing is yes, it might hurt but the pain is completely within your control. You initiate all movement and if it starts to hurt even a little bit you can stop straight away.
The most important thing is you never do anything you don't want to do.