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    Guys, help help.. i posted the same problem ages ago, but need sum advice so badly. Ok.. in a nutshell (+ i know ill probably get abuse from people who have heard my whining b4) but am desperate for some advice. Ok.. here goes.. started uni last year, had the time of my life in the 1st term, had a few friendship issues in the second term, got a bit depressed, panicked (cuz i had a MAJOR depression at boarding school when i was 16 + had to be brought home), + for some reason compared Uni to boarding school subconsciously (WHEN IT WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT)... anyway, made the crazy decision of dropping out of uni.. (well, deferring..). I still have my place at uni in September and am meant to be moving into my house with people from my old year (who will be going into the second year). BUT.. they have obviously been together for an extra 2 terms (I left in February) so they have obviously become closer (+ 3 of them are very cliquey) sooo... i need help on whether to go into the house (+ risk being the 'outsider') or go back into halls? I don't wanna let my 'friends' down but a part of me is saying perhaps if im starting again I should start with my new year in halls... what do u guys think? I'm a total mess and can't decide. Plus, im still beating myself up about leaving in February and have gone really weird + withdrawn cuz of the depression.. which isnt like me,usually im outgoing + chatty.. my concentration is totally screwed + all i can think of is how crazy i was for leaving uni when i did when the problems weren't that bad in the first place.. i could have dealt with them, i just got scared cuz of the awful experience i had at boarding school. ANYWAY, SO HAS ANYONE
    A) GOT ANY ADVICE?
    OR B) GOT ANY MAGIC WAYS OF CURING DEPRESSION/GETTING OVER SOMETHING AND MOVING ON? i don't want to screw up my last chance of uni cuz i haven't got over leaving yet!!!
    thank u! love natxxx
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    Just go with the flow and accept what life throws at you. So you made a mistake by dropping out? Well, there's not much you can do about that. What's done is done and you should think about the future. Go back to uni and say to yourself, "right, I'm going to spend every spare minute working hard and aiming for a 1st". Then think about the brilliant career you will have and all that money you can play with.
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    in a way itd be nice to move back in with your friends. i dont think being in different years would be an issue. on the other hand, you missed out on the experience of being in halls for a whole year which is a good step before moving into a house as it is inbetween living with parents and living with friends and being totally independant. you didnt get the whole year to get to know your future housemates properly. would they be really pissed off if you didnt move in with them? i think i'd inclined to go back into halls. then you're in the same position as all the other freshers and you can start with a clean slate. you also have the advantage of knowing what you did wrong last year and so you can try and do things differently this year. try and stay on good terms with your hallmates, it will make your life so much easier and when youre away from home its nice to have to close friends as a substitute family. also you have the added bonus of already having friends at uni, so you have somewhere to escape to if you ever want to get away from halls. thats what i personally think but it depends what youre comfortable with. i just think that living with your old friends might be a reminder of what it was like before and bring back those feelings again so itd be nice to start a fresh? hope that helped xxxx
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    hey! thank u loads for the advice, yeh i think mayb halls would b the best thing.. i just need to heal myself first.. cuz i feel like im so full of self blame + self hatred.. which again, is so unlike me,cuz normally im so happy,bubbly + friendly.. but until u can like urself, noones gonna like u... so my first step is to kinda heal myself... my friends will b pretty pissed off i think if i let them down, especially as it's not giving them much notice.. but i have someone who is interested in taking my place.. and maybe it's best to make new friends, so i have a fresh start.. because there is already quite a lot of *****iness amongst the people im meant to b living with which made me feel uncomfy in the beggining.

    does anyone have any good advice on how to get out of a major depression? im on meds. but nothing seems to have helped much..i hate not feeling like me.. i feel like millions of painful chemicals are shooting thru my brain and i feel really foggy as if my entire brain has shut down.. it's the most frustrating feeling in the world, especially as normally im relatively intelligent, eloquent etc.. i can hardly string a sentence together unless im talking about my problem!! if anyone can identify with this it would b great to hear from u and any tips u have on getting out of this mess and and hell ive created for myself!!! i feel like being unhappy has become an obsession which is crazy.... im losing my mind
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    I haven't been in your position, but i'm hoping to start Uni in september and part of the thing that i'm really looking foward to is the idea of a new start. Moving to a new place hopefully the depression that i've had since i was 16 will stay in London! I personally can't stand cliquey people and when i'm in the depths of depression things like that become exaggerated. I guess its comforting to go back to what you're used to, and maybe they haven't moved on that much and will be looking foward to you coming back. But whichever choice you make, do it for you not for anybody else.

    Why not try a list of pros and cons? I did that when i was trying to decide where to go to uni and it helped a lot.

    Just read your bit about beating major depression. I've just come out of hospital after having yet another breakdown. Its really difficult to know where to turn and what to do when your depressed. I find it difficult to even get out of bed and get dressed at the moment. I try to give myself something to aim for everyday. Not matter how little it is. Tonight its to try and get to be before midnight. Seems stupid, but i'm taking things a step at a time. If you need someone to chat to, you can add me to msn.

    Good Luck x
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    Thank u loads... I JUST CANT SEEM TO STOP BLAMING MYSELF..I HAD EVERYTHING AT UNI... I JUST THREW IT AWAY.. I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE IT A CHANCE.. I WAS BACK FOR 12 DAYS AFTER XMAS BEFORE I STARTED CALLING MY PARENTS SAYING I WAS FEELING DOWN.. WHY DIDN'T I JUST DEAL WITH THE ISSUES THEN AND THERE BEFORE WORRYING THEM???? BECAUSE AS SOON AS I WORRY MY PARENTS THERE'S NO GOING BACK.. CUZ THEY PANIC REALLY EASILY AND BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AT BOARDING SCHOOL THEY BEGAN PUTTING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME TO GO TO THE DOCTOR AND TO TELL MY FRIENDS WHAT WAS GOING ON....SO ALL MY EFFORT WENT INTO TRYING TO HIDE THE FACT THAT I WAS FEELING DOWN AND I TRIED TO HIDE THE FACT THAT MY PARENTS WERE CALLING SO OFTEN (I WAS IN A SHARED ROOM)

    SO NOW IM RESENTING MY PARENTS BECAUSE I MADE THEM WORRY.. WHICH MAKES NO SENSE... IT'S A VICIOUS CIRCLE.. I CAN'T HELP THINKING IF ONLY I HADN'T CALLED THEM AND TOLD THEM I WAS FEELING LOW...THEN THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TOLD ALL THEIR FRIENDS, COME OVER AND SEEN ME, MADE DOCTOR'S AND COUNCILLORS APPOINTMENTS FOR ME... AND JUST MADE ME PARANOID... AND CONVINCED ME THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING CHEMICALLY WRONG IN MY BRAIN.. IM JUST SOOO CROSS AND FED UP WITH ME AND WITH THEM AND WITH EVERYTHING.. I SOUND SO UNGRATEFUL.. IT WASN'T THEIR FAULT, THEY WERE JUST CONCERNED.. BUT THEY BROUGHT UP ALL THE ISSUES OF BOARDING SCHOOL WHICH I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BE REMINDED OF.... AND INSTEAD OF ASKING THE DOCTOR WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME THEY WENT IN SAYING I HAD DEPRESSION.. WHEN IM NOT SURE IF IT WAS EVEN THAT BAD...I JUST LET THEM TALK ME INTO IT..... I EVEN TOLD MY MUM I WAS FEELING SUICIDAL.. WHY??? WHY DID I TELL HER THAT?? THE REASON I FELT LIKE THAT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THE WHOLE BOARDING SCHOOL EXPERIENCE AGAIN AT UNIVERSITY... HELP HELP IM SO FULL OF SELF BLAME...
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    (Original post by natalia)
    Thank u loads... I JUST CANT SEEM TO STOP BLAMING MYSELF..I HAD EVERYTHING AT UNI... I JUST THREW IT AWAY.. I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE IT A CHANCE.. I WAS BACK FOR 12 DAYS AFTER XMAS BEFORE I STARTED CALLING MY PARENTS SAYING I WAS FEELING DOWN.. WHY DIDN'T I JUST DEAL WITH THE ISSUES THEN AND THERE BEFORE WORRYING THEM???? BECAUSE AS SOON AS I WORRY MY PARENTS THERE'S NO GOING BACK.. CUZ THEY PANIC REALLY EASILY AND BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AT BOARDING SCHOOL THEY BEGAN PUTTING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME TO GO TO THE DOCTOR AND TO TELL MY FRIENDS WHAT WAS GOING ON....SO ALL MY EFFORT WENT INTO TRYING TO HIDE THE FACT THAT I WAS FEELING DOWN AND I TRIED TO HIDE THE FACT THAT MY PARENTS WERE CALLING SO OFTEN (I WAS IN A SHARED ROOM)

    SO NOW IM RESENTING MY PARENTS BECAUSE I MADE THEM WORRY.. WHICH MAKES NO SENSE... IT'S A VICIOUS CIRCLE.. I CAN'T HELP THINKING IF ONLY I HADN'T CALLED THEM AND TOLD THEM I WAS FEELING LOW...THEN THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TOLD ALL THEIR FRIENDS, COME OVER AND SEEN ME, MADE DOCTOR'S AND COUNCILLORS APPOINTMENTS FOR ME... AND JUST MADE ME PARANOID... AND CONVINCED ME THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING CHEMICALLY WRONG IN MY BRAIN.. IM JUST SOOO CROSS AND FED UP WITH ME AND WITH THEM AND WITH EVERYTHING.. I SOUND SO UNGRATEFUL.. IT WASN'T THEIR FAULT, THEY WERE JUST CONCERNED.. BUT THEY BROUGHT UP ALL THE ISSUES OF BOARDING SCHOOL WHICH I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BE REMINDED OF.... AND INSTEAD OF ASKING THE DOCTOR WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME THEY WENT IN SAYING I HAD DEPRESSION.. WHEN IM NOT SURE IF IT WAS EVEN THAT BAD...I JUST LET THEM TALK ME INTO IT..... I EVEN TOLD MY MUM I WAS FEELING SUICIDAL.. WHY??? WHY DID I TELL HER THAT?? THE REASON I FELT LIKE THAT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THE WHOLE BOARDING SCHOOL EXPERIENCE AGAIN AT UNIVERSITY... HELP HELP IM SO FULL OF SELF BLAME...
    maybe you need to think of it as a new start, turning over a new leaf....a way to leave your old self behind and start a fresh....
    do what you want to do, and be who you want to be....
    you obviously aren't happy at the moment- so take steps to make yourself happy...anything small that makes you feel better can only be a positive step. Quite often i find that if I act how i want to feel, i actually do feel like that...for example if i am feeling in a really bad mood, grumpy etc...but i act nice towards people, even though i don't feel like it- i actually begin to feel better....it might be worth a try?? It takes a lot of strength but you really can be who you want to be...just don't give up- keep at it and you will get there and be happy again
    Good luck and if you want to chat- pm me or add me to msn- [email protected]

    Ruthie xx
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    (Original post by natalia)
    OR B) GOT ANY MAGIC WAYS OF CURING DEPRESSION/GETTING OVER SOMETHING AND MOVING ON?

    I have the perfect solution, sadly it's not legal and I'd get a lot of stick for suggesting self-medication

    I hear it works a treat though (for a few hours)
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    I agree with the thing about how you act. Particularly when you first start uni. At the beginning of term everyone will be loving their independence and be out to enjoy themselves to the fullest. No-one wants to be dragged down by someone who is feeling unhappy....sorry, but that is the honest truth.

    I find the more time i have to think about things the more i worry and that doesnt help the happiness levels. it might not work for you but id suggest keeping yourself busy. Maybe join a society? That way youll also meet new people and get a larger circle of friends to socialise with. You wont have to spend too much time on your own. Althernatively you could join the gym or something, just try to do some sport. its supposed to help (so im told).

    I know its difficult, but this is your chance to make a good first impression. Take it. Even if you dont feel confident, act it. this will make you a more attractive friend and in the long run it will boost your confidence. be proud of your achievements and praise yourself for what you've achieved. For starters you've got accepted to uni - not once but twice! Not many people can say that. you much be something pretty special and intelligent to be given this opportunity in the first place. so dont you forget that and just try to make the most of your priviliged position.

    Good luck xxx
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    I don't know if this will help, but i'm a firm believer in the destiny/ life path thing. In other words, maby what happened was meant to happen and that it will all work out in the end for the better!
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    If It makes you feel better my bedrooms a mess
 
 
 
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