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Opinions on two things

Just two thoughts going through my head. The second makes me sound crazy, and the first people will perhaps disagree with.

Background: Male, 19, Virgin, no girlfriends ever, few kisses, little confidence, girl of my dreams (I strongly know I can't meet anyone more on my level) has become a close friend [story of my life] and I know as we're living together in the same house next year (a big house, lots of people) that something will probably happen with her and another guy and it'll get to me!

1) I've had thoughts in my head. I get semi-depressed. By which I self diagnosed as bi-polar depression as it's only a few days a year, I go to sleep and wake up and I'm fine. It's all over the things in the background (lack of relationships etc...).

I'm at uni, and this is seriously (and I'm pretty sure you can't argue against it) the BEST possible time to meet people for casual encounters and after a whole year of nothing, I'm thinking if nothing happens at all during my time at uni I may as well give up.

What are peoples thoughts on people (i.e, me) committing suicide because I'm at a point where I'm basically happy (good 3 years of my life) but I don't want to carry on when it'll be harder to meet people than at uni.

Do I have the right to die, because I am at a point where I know I'm happy (minus the relationship stuff) and don't want to carry on.

I can only imagine explaining this to someone close who I've sort of talked to about this stuff (the girl, which was a bad move I know) and picture them trying to talk me out of it. I know they care, but couldn't they care enough to let me choose?

I don't like the idea of depression being a problem that is seen as needing to be fixed all the time. Sure, if people don't want it. But I'd be killing myself not because I'm depressed, as such. But because I'm happy.

2) Opinion on what if depression and suicide is some form of natural selection. We've sorta given up on the survival of the fittest, so this could be something to help with that whole issue!

Cheers.

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Reply 1

generalebriety

Anonymous

By which I self diagnosed as bi-polar depression as it's only a few days a year, I go to sleep and wake up and I'm fine. It's all over the things in the background (lack of relationships etc...).

That's not bipolar disorder (and there's no such thing as bipolar depression). Nowhere near. Sorry.

Anonymous

What are peoples thoughts on people (i.e, me) committing suicide

Great, yeah, go for it. :rolleyes:

I'm being dismissive here, I know, but really, there's no problem here. You have a crush on a girl - unlucky for you - and nothing's happened either way, and you're being pessimistic and saying she'll get off with some other guy and threatening to kill yourself. Not a great way to win sympathy, or indeed a problem in its own right until she does get off with some other guy. The start of your post doesn't make you out to be happy, am I right?

I'm not really sure what you want here. First point is not to kill yourself, I don't think you've given me any good reason to think you warrant it. Not only is a few days a year a lot less than most people get, but you haven't actually explained why you think your life's only ever gonna get worse. What about when you meet someone, start a family, build up your career, retire?

Edit: and as for suicide being natural selection: no, shooting yourself in the head isn't "natural" at all...

Reply 2

Ezekiel

generalebriety

That's not bipolar disorder (and there's no such thing as bipolar depression). Nowhere near. Sorry.

Great, yeah, go for it. :rolleyes:

QUOTE]

omg don't say that they might be a nut job!

Reply 3

technik

there are plenty of virgins your age so i wouldn't be getting to danger stations just yet. i have a friend who is 22 and is still a virgin and doesn't really care in the slightest.

Reply 4

generalebriety

Ezekiel

omg don't say that they might be a nut job!

If they are, I seriously doubt my post had any effect either way.

Reply 5

she

don't worry, there is no minimum age by which you have to do these things.

When you meet the right person it won't matter how many sexes or exes you've had.

Try having a more positive outlook, or looking for the good in the present and the future. It does helps a lot.

And don't think about drastic actions think positive instead!

Reply 6

sonicboooom

generalebriety

Edit: and as for suicide being natural selection: no, shooting yourself in the head isn't "natural" at all...

I agree, this is NOT natural selection, although your second point seemed to contradict itself, but maybe i misunderstood.

I could never condone anyone to commit suicide. (Although i think you have a right to euthenasia) I believe there is always something for you to live for no matter what situation you're in. You're still really young so it would be a waste of a life. You say you have 'self diagnosed' yourself as bi-polar. If you want a proper diagnosis you should seek professional advice.

I can understand your reasons, but like genralebriety i think they're a bit weak. People have much bigger problems than being in love with a girl they can't have, i think at some point or another we've all been there. There are plenty more girls out there, also if you know you don't have a future with this girl then you probably shouldn't live with her even if she is a close friend.

Reply 7

generalebriety

sonicboooom

Although i think you have a right to euthenasia

Sorry, for the OP's sake, I must clarify: you do mean people in general have a right to euthanasia, and not that he in his current situation has a right to euthanasia, right?

Reply 8

sonicboooom

generalebriety

Sorry, for the OP's sake, I must clarify: you do mean people in general have a right to euthanasia, and not that he in his current situation has a right to euthanasia, right?

Sorry, people in general. Unless he is suffering badly from a terminal illness, which i doubt :confused:

Reply 9

generalebriety

Ok.

Reply 10

supernova2

virgin at 19??? wow how depressing :rolleyes:

Reply 11

Chumbaniya

There's nothing about your situation which strikes me as being particularly terrible. I'm sorry to be harsh about it when you're obviously feeling quite down, but if everyone decided they should kill themselves because they really fancied someone but the person didn't seem to be interested, I imagine the world would very rapidly lose most of it's population.

I don't think diagnosing yourself as having depression because you have a few bad days is sensible, or - again - it would be a problem the whole world suffered from.

In the end, it's your choice. Do you give in because things aren't going as well as you'd planned, or do you decide to look at the positives (you said yourself that you're happy) and realise that you can make your life better? Just as you have the choice of whether or not to end your life, you have the choice of whether you can make it better.

As for my opinion, I don't think suicide would be the responsible and reasonable option that you make it out to be. If you want to have a happy life, you can't just give it one chance and then - when it doesn't all work out first time - decide it's not worth trying any more; you have to work at it. If you tell yourself that it's worth carrying on because you know you can make things better, that's real strength. Taking the easy way out as soon as things get tough isn't.

Reply 12

FoeGeddaBowDeet

You want to commit suicide because you're happy?
I see two problems with this based on your post.
1) You aren't happy.
2) You haven't fulfilled the things you want to in life.

Really, you're the only one who can change your life. Why is it easier to meet people inside university rather than out? Because University forces you to be in situations its easy to meet people? That's very easy to replicate outside of University if you're just proactive and being so will make you feel a lot better, so this really isn't an issue. Secondly, regardless of your sexual experiences to this point - it is nearly as hard as you probably think to find a partner. A few questions - How often do you go to pubs/clubs? In pubs/clubs, how often do you approach girls? How confident are you?

Reply 13

Chumbaniya

sonicboooom

Sorry, people in general. Unless he is suffering badly from a terminal illness, which i doubt :confused:

Erm, what? You think that people in general have a right to euthanasia, but people suffering terminal illnesses don't? Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding here, but surely people suffering terminal conditions are those who can benefit most from euthanasia and would be most likely to choose it.

Reply 14

sonicboooom

Chumbaniya

Sorry, you misunderstand. I said that i don't condone suicide, but i believe you have a right to euthenasia (people in general), but not him specifically, unless he is suffering badly from a terminal illness. Maybe i wasn't clear enough :redface:

Reply 15

Dionysus

Oh FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Of course they shouldn't commit suicide! Do you people know how dangerous this sort of discussion is? They might actually do it. OP: If you really do feel that desperate, go and see a doctor and get some anti-depression stuff - in fact do that anyway. You have a good life ahead of you, and you shouldn't even be contemplating this sort of thing. I knew a girl who did commit suicide, and she caused a lot of pain for her family and friends. She had a very bright future ahead of her, and she could have done anything she wanted with her life. Don't be a statistic.

Reply 16

generalebriety

Dionysus

Oh FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Of course they shouldn't commit suicide! Do you people know how dangerous this sort of discussion is? They might actually do it.

Who the hell suggested the OP commit suicide?

Dionysus

OP: If you really do feel that desperate, go and see a doctor and get some anti-depression stuff - in fact do that anyway. You have a good life ahead of you

Not if he gets hooked on antidepressants he doesn't.

READ BEFORE POSTING. Jesus.

Reply 17

Dionysus

generalebriety

Who the hell suggested the OP commit suicide?

People are having political discussions about things like Euthanasia and death in a thread where it could have serious or even lethal implications for the OP.

Not if he gets hooked on antidepressants he doesn't.

That's something for his GP to discuss with him, not a bunch of amateurs on a student forum. A life might potentially be at stake here.

Reply 18

generalebriety

Dionysus

People are having political discussions about things like Euthanasia and death in a thread where it could have serious or even lethal implications for the OP.

It was a side issue. He wouldn't qualify for euthanasia. Did I really have to explain that?

Dionysus

That's something for his GP to discuss with him, not a bunch of amateurs on a student forum. A life might potentially be at stake here.

"Get some anti-depression stuff" was the phrase you used. Antidepressants can kill, you know that?

I'm sure you have good intentions but some of what you're posting is rubbish.

Reply 19

Nix!

I think you've got a lot of growing up to do. One day you will look back and think "WTF was that all about?"

Do yourself a favour and learn to be happy with who you are before you go diving into a relationship. You're looking for someone to fill an inadequacy which you have and that isn't fair on them. It makes you look needy, which in turn is not very attractive.

Enjoy what you've got or it'll pass you by before you know it's gone.