Opinions on two things Watch

sonicboooom
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Dionysus)
People are having political discussions about things like Euthanasia and death in a thread where it could have serious or even lethal implications for the OP.



That's something for his GP to discuss with him, not a bunch of amateurs on a student forum. A life might potentially be at stake here.
I think we need to remember that this is a student forum, with officially unproffessional advice. No one hear has at anytime condoned him comitting suicide. Actually, as he posted, he made the choice for a bunch of amateurs to discuss it with him did he not?

So, what you're saying is that the only people that should reply are proffessional councellors/doctors etc? Hmmm..yet you said

Oh FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Of course they shouldn't commit suicide! Do you people know how dangerous this sort of discussion is? They might actually do it. OP: If you really do feel that desperate, go and see a doctor and get some anti-depression stuff - in fact do that anyway. You have a good life ahead of you, and you shouldn't even be contemplating this sort of thing. I knew a girl who did commit suicide, and she caused a lot of pain for her family and friends. She had a very bright future ahead of her, and she could have done anything she wanted with her life. Don't be a statistic.
Sounds like amateur advice to me....
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khil
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#22
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#22
So, I bet you didn't realise you'd have a good 3 years of life before these 3 years happened. How do you KNOW for sure then that years as good as these past 3 years, or better, would not come in your life?

Ok, maybe they should care enough to let you choose. So why should you not care enough to realise that if you committed suicide, you would have destroyed their lives and changed them forever, you would've probably killed your parents emotionally and all your friends and anyone who ever cared about or cares and loves you? If they're not allowed to be "selfish" in asking you not to die, why are you being a hypocrite by killing yourself off just cus "it makes you happy" - what about all those people you will destroy if you killed yourself?

You might find a wife later in life. If you died now, you'll never get to find out who that wonderful woman is, and perhaps who your children could have been, if you had any. You don't know and cannot know what awaits you in life - it does not always gets worse.

As for the natural selection thing - so you think yourself to be an obstacle to the survival of mankind? Yeh, OP, that's not being "happy", as you claimed that you were.
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AverageGuyOnTheStreet
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#23
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#23
The first thing I thought when reading the OP's post was that they were a bit of a nutcase. But I am going to be serious and say if it is bothering you that much then see your GP, who can give far better advice than anyone on an internet forum.

There is always something you can do to improve your life. Being a virgin at 19 is not a problem. I'm 20 and a virgin and wouldn't have it any other way. All you need to do is wait, concentrate on uni (I think you mentioned being happy at uni), and the right person will come along and you can have a good relationship.
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Music_Enthusiast
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#24
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#24
OP you aren't depressed, you are just a depressing person. Thats probably why no girls like you.
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Anonymous #1
#25
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#25
OP here.

(Original post by Dionysus)
Don't be a statistic.
This reminds me of something. When a friend called such phone line, they were so interested in my age, date of birth, where I lived (general area, not address). I found it funny they were more interested in updating their statistics than giving advice.

(Original post by generalebriety)
Not if he gets hooked on antidepressants he doesn't.

READ BEFORE POSTING. Jesus.
Yea, that's the issue. I don't need them. I get down a day or two each month, I can live with it. Taking antidepressants is an awful idea. Illness is too psychological. Reminds me of kids with turrets who once diagnosed increase their ticks significantly.

For me, anti-depressants is just a gateway to serious or more frequent depression. I'm fine as I am, and can cope without them.

(Original post by HenvY)
You want to commit suicide because you're happy?
I see two problems with this based on your post.
1) You aren't happy.
2) You haven't fulfilled the things you want to in life.

A few questions - How often do you go to pubs/clubs? In pubs/clubs, how often do you approach girls? How confident are you?
I go out too much at uni. Like 3-4 days a week. Clubs mostly, although in the last term I went to more pubs to talk to people.

I don't approach often, I know I should more, guess I'm not that confident. I've had nothing but rejection off people for a long time when I've told them how I feel anyway. I'm also always the "ugly" one in the group which doesn't help boost confidence.

As for other people being virgins and ok with it, good for you, I'm not ok with it.

As for me being a depressive person, only 2 people at uni know this about me, or rather I've only told 2. I am seen as the happy and funny person. Comedy is a classic insecure mechanism, and that's me! No one sees me as depressive other than the 2 people I let. So it's not really that, as I don't show it.

I'm just seen as happy, funny, having a good time with friends out on the dancefloor in clubs. So I wouldn't blame me being a depressive person on girls not liking me, they never see it.
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FoeGeddaBowDeet
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Anonymous)
I go out too much at uni. Like 3-4 days a week. Clubs mostly, although in the last term I went to more pubs to talk to people.

I don't approach often, I know I should more, guess I'm not that confident. I've had nothing but rejection off people for a long time when I've told them how I feel anyway. I'm also always the "ugly" one in the group which doesn't help boost confidence.
There's no such thing as too much going out.
If you want to fix your problem you're going to have to play a numbers game - approach tons of girls. You're not going to get more confident stitting with your mates. Looks don't matter...well, not so much to girls. That + Darkness + alcohol renders them irrelevent. PM me, I want to send you a link.
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fat_hobbit
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#27
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#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just two thoughts going through my head. The second makes me sound crazy, and the first people will perhaps disagree with.

Background: Male, 19, Virgin, no girlfriends ever, few kisses, little confidence, girl of my dreams (I strongly know I can't meet anyone more on my level) has become a close friend [story of my life] and I know as we're living together in the same house next year (a big house, lots of people) that something will probably happen with her and another guy and it'll get to me!

1) I've had thoughts in my head. I get semi-depressed. By which I self diagnosed as bi-polar depression as it's only a few days a year, I go to sleep and wake up and I'm fine. It's all over the things in the background (lack of relationships etc...).

I'm at uni, and this is seriously (and I'm pretty sure you can't argue against it) the BEST possible time to meet people for casual encounters and after a whole year of nothing, I'm thinking if nothing happens at all during my time at uni I may as well give up.
You are right it is the best time of your life. How you spend your time is completely up to you.

I doubt you are clinically depressed, you are just going through a hard time - happens to the best of us. By getting through it, you will become a stronger person.

What are peoples thoughts on people (i.e, me) committing suicide because I'm at a point where I'm basically happy (good 3 years of my life) but I don't want to carry on when it'll be harder to meet people than at uni.

Do I have the right to die, because I am at a point where I know I'm happy (minus the relationship stuff) and don't want to carry on.
...dude you will meet people anyway, through work - friends from your home town. Be positive and stop being silly. The beauty of life is that you don't know what the hell will happen, it is random....I have been through some unexpected crazy **** during my time at uni. (as well as back home)

I can only imagine explaining this to someone close who I've sort of talked to about this stuff (the girl, which was a bad move I know) and picture them trying to talk me out of it. I know they care, but couldn't they care enough to let me choose?

I don't like the idea of depression being a problem that is seen as needing to be fixed all the time. Sure, if people don't want it. But I'd be killing myself not because I'm depressed, as such. But because I'm happy.

2) Opinion on what if depression and suicide is some form of natural selection. We've sorta given up on the survival of the fittest, so this could be something to help with that whole issue!

Cheers.
Get your priorities sorted out. There are people in similar situations as you (ironically there is another virgin thread in this forum, where the guy is 21!!!!)

If you think by getting a girl friend your life would become all hunky dorey your carrying the wrong attitude.

She may bring you stability, but what happens when you break up and thats all you had? You would crumble.

Prioritise your **** by putting yourself first - where do you want to be in 5 years time non-girls wise???? Work on that, develop your worth in other ways - intellect, dress sense, physically and it will all come to place. Girls will come to you, I gaurentee it.

PM me if you wanna chat, I can help.
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Rock Fan
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#28
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#28
So you are depressed because you are a virgin at 19?
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Anonymous #2
#29
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
Background: Male, 19, Virgin, no girlfriends ever, few kisses, little confidence, girl of my dreams (I strongly know I can't meet anyone more on my level) has become a close friend [story of my life] and I know as we're living together in the same house next year (a big house, lots of people) that something will probably happen with her and another guy and it'll get to me!
My Background:

Female. 19 (20 in Oct). Virgin. No boyfriends. Ever. No kisses. Ever. Little confidence (though getting better!). When she falls for a guy, she falls hard. Scared to approach them (extreme fear of rejection). Has to watch them going off with other people. Can be paranoid (currently feeling like she has few friends due to looking into things far too much). Gets depressed for a few weeks at a few times of year / a day or 2 each month due to lack of b/f or feeling completely alone in all senses.

I would say we're in similar situations! (Apart from genders and stuff!)

Just thought I'd say that to let you know you're not alone! :p:

Although not a day goes by when I am totally happy with being single, I don't care. There IS somneone out there for you. Somewhere. There's someone for me too!

Sleeping with others is NOT going to solve your problem. Infact, I think it'd make it far worse!

You'll want to sleep with someone because you think it'll solve your problems. It won't. That thinking results in 2 things:
1) Unfulfillment - won't feel that special or exciting when you look back on it (even if it may have done at the time)
2) You'll have a bond with that person (assuming your not the 'use-them-and-lose-them' type (which, from your post, I assume you're not) ). When that relationship ends, you'll be far more devistated because of it.

That's one of the 2 main reasons I don't particularly want to go sleeping with anyone yet. (the other being religious belief, which far less people seem to understand! :p:)

Sorry to sound blunt, but they're my views. And I don't want to hear about yet another death due to someone deciding that they can't go on because even though they are popular and have loads of friends, they think they're worthless. You're not.

The world's completely *******ed up and obessessed with sex. All to often I get the impression that because I've not had sex I'm a loser. Because I'm a Christian I'm old fashioned and boring and all that crap. Well, I say balls to the world at large. My friends (and everyone I know / have met and will meet) know / will know that that's sooooo not true about me. As long as you don't take too much notice of the world at large, don't dwell on the times you feel like ****** and instead concentrate on the good times, you'll pull through.

And it's true what they say, you know? About people being more attracted to you when you're happy and having a good time (not to say that it's good in any way to be down, but there's a time and place for that).

Sorry for the long post, but I hope it helps!
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fat_hobbit
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#30
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#30
(Original post by irisng)
So, I bet you didn't realise you'd have a good 3 years of life before these 3 years happened. How do you KNOW for sure then that years as good as these past 3 years, or better, would not come in your life?

Ok, maybe they should care enough to let you choose. So why should you not care enough to realise that if you committed suicide, you would have destroyed their lives and changed them forever, you would've probably killed your parents emotionally and all your friends and anyone who ever cared about or cares and loves you? [...stuff].
Your posts are always so nice, are you really this nice in real life irisng?
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fat_hobbit
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Anonymous)
I go out too much at uni. Like 3-4 days a week. Clubs mostly, although in the last term I went to more pubs to talk to people.

I don't approach often, I know I should more, guess I'm not that confident. I've had nothing but rejection off people for a long time when I've told them how I feel anyway. I'm also always the "ugly" one in the group which doesn't help boost confidence.
Looks play a small part in it to be honest, OK granted if your good looking, you will get girls approaching you a lot more and showing interest without you doing much work.

I don't recommend clubs to be honest in your case, because it is a hostile environment and you have to be really confident to pull in one. You lack confidence, and unless you have other **** going for you - the ability to dance, or too approach women effortlessly and know how to talk to them you are wasting your time.

Pubs are a good way to chatting too people.

You have to develop your confidence, compensate your looks in other ways - style, a good body (this will take time), your sense of humour. From my experience if you have a good sense of humour - it is a good ice breaker. If you make her feel like you are fun to be with....guess what? she would want to be around you.

You are putting girls on a pedalstal unneccessary. Would you do the same with guys? of course not. Just chill.

As for other people being virgins and ok with it, good for you, I'm not ok with it.

As for me being a depressive person, only 2 people at uni know this about me, or rather I've only told 2. I am seen as the happy and funny person. Comedy is a classic insecure mechanism, and that's me! No one sees me as depressive other than the 2 people I let. So it's not really that, as I don't show it.

I'm just seen as happy, funny, having a good time with friends out on the dancefloor in clubs. So I wouldn't blame me being a depressive person on girls not liking me, they never see it.
Good, go out to have a good time with your friends - that should be your main priority.

If you get rejected at any point, just move on man - who cares, we all have been there at one point or the other. Take the positives out of it (I managed to approach a girl), reframe the way you think into a more positive mind set and you will be ok.
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Clubber Lang
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Anonymous)

What are peoples thoughts on people (i.e, me) committing suicide because I'm at a point where I'm basically happy (good 3 years of my life) but I don't want to carry on when it'll be harder to meet people than at uni.


2) Opinion on what if depression and suicide is some form of natural selection. We've sorta given up on the survival of the fittest, so this could be something to help with that whole issue!

Cheers.
1) Your an idiot for even asking that question on here -the responses are fairly obvious - kill yourself for being such a damn fool

2) Maybe - more like a destruction of the weakest pussies!

3) Why not go out with a bang and try it on with her?
2)
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ghe.tom
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#33
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#33
Can I ask you to clarify?
as I understand, you are happy with everything apart from one issue, so you want to kill yourself???

wtf?
Do you realise that sex and relationships isnt the be all and end all of life. Not to mention that you are bound to get a chance at somepoint in the future. If you are so sure university is the only place to meet people (which it isnt) at least finish uni before you even consider this sort of action. Im not saying suicide is right or wrong, but your reason for thinking about it seems like you need to have a think about what you want from life and how you are going to get those things, not how you are going to end your life.
Good luck.
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