The Student Room Group

Friend remarking on the way I used to look

Throughout my childhood, I wasn't exactly the prettiest thing to look at. In photos, I practically looked like a bloke!!! It was basically the way I used to tie my hair back. I had many photographs of myself amoung our family ones, and I was so detested by the way I looked, I tore them all up.
When I was in year 8, I decided one morning, out of the blue, to do my hair differently. You should have seen the look of some peoples faces. They didn't recognise me. Even my art teacher commented on it.
I'm now 18, and I do pay a lot of attention to the way I look and I do get interest from guys, but I do get paranoid about the way I look.

I was looking through some photos yesterday with my friend, and there was a picture of me in it from a few years ago. I commented on how different I looked. He then went on to say about the way i looked when I was younger, and it just made me feel so bad inside! He was basically saying how awful I looked, and agreed with me. People always comment on the way I used to look, and it really upsets me.

I don't really know what I'm looking for here exactly. I'm not looking for any sympathy as such, I guess I just want to get it off my chest cause its always something that has upset me, but when someone remarks on it, it makes it worse. Just to think that if a bf saw those pictures, I'd probably be dumped within seconds lol!!

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
..
(edited 14 years ago)
I know what you mean and I'm sure he didn't realise he had upset you. I used to be about 2/3 stone heavier a couple of years ago and now when some of my friends look back at photos of me then they make similar comments about how much bigger and fatter I was! It doesn't bother me now but it does make me wonder sometimes if they were saying that behind my back at the time...
Reply 3
To be honest I think most people cringe at old photos of themselves! I remember once in Year 11 at school, someone brought in the old Year 7 class photo and everyone was so embarrassed. It was back in the days before everyone discovered GHDs and makeup and started styling their hair etc!

You're defo not alone, I wish I could get rid of every photo ever taken of me between the ages of about 11 and 14 lol. Point is, you look a lot different now. Just ignore what people say about old pics coz its all in the past. People have a different image of you now and thats what you have to remember :smile:
Reply 4
I hate my old photos too but the great thing is i can look back at them and have a good old giggle at how bad i looked :p:
You will look at photos in 10, 20 30 year times and think how bad you look now. Dont worry about it. You think you look fine now and it didnt bother you looking like 'a man' at the time so you can only put it in the past and laugh about it now. Remember when 'curtains' and gelled hair used to be the trend, would anyone do there hair like that now, no!
I have put on two stone at Uni and do get worried people at homw must think bad about me. But I am happy, have two arms, legs etc so I am not worried.
Reply 6
I think everyone hates what they looked like when they were going through puberty - just think yourself lucky that you're not a child celebrity & have to grow up with the press documenting everything to the world!
So you're an ugly duckling that turned into a swan. Congratulations, there's nothing to feel bad about.

Hell I bet most people didn't like the way they looked when they were young. I certainly didn't; I was like Mr Blobby with bad hair.
JaneNorman

I don't really know what I'm looking for here exactly. I'm not looking for any sympathy as such, I guess I just want to get it off my chest cause its always something that has upset me, but when someone remarks on it, it makes it worse. Just to think that if a bf saw those pictures, I'd probably be dumped within seconds lol!!


There are maybe 4 pictures of me from the ages of 12 - 17. I had frizzy hair that I scraped back with gel, wore ugly glasses, had horrible skin and wore awful clothes. I had no idea how to make myself look better, even though I wasn't actually ugly. You've said that you didn't look as good as you could have because of the way you did your hair, which indicates that actually, you're probably a very pretty girl, just a bit behind when it came to making the most of your natural beauty.

At least, that's what happened to me. I discovered fashion, antibiotics for the skin, ditched the glasses and lost 2.5 stone. People started commenting in the street, and I've been scouted a few times. But inside, I still feel like the podgy, badly dressed, acne-ridden girl I was.

You have to remember that you have left that period of life behind you. Next time someone comments on how you "used to look", just say, But look at me now!
Reply 9
It could be worse. Think if it was the other way around.
Reply 10
You sound a bit like me- I wasn't the prettiest thing when I was younger- I had bad hair, big glasses, wonky teeth, and from the age of about 14 was a bit overweight too. And I was shy to make things even worse. But I've 'blossomed' a bit I guess- I'm not a stunner but I'm not dog ugly now either! Once at school in 6th form someone brought in Year 7 photos and a girl that had started the school later pointed at a person and went 'Oh my God, who's that geek?!' It was me. Oh the shame. It is a bit embarassing, but it's in the past and there's not a lot I can do about it now, so it's not worth worrying about!
Reply 11
Ugly duckling syndrome

I had it too.

As long as its the past tense does it matter?
Reply 12
JaneNorman
Throughout my childhood, I wasn't exactly the prettiest thing to look at. In photos, I practically looked like a bloke!!! It was basically the way I used to tie my hair back. I had many photographs of myself amoung our family ones, and I was so detested by the way I looked, I tore them all up.
When I was in year 8, I decided one morning, out of the blue, to do my hair differently. You should have seen the look of some peoples faces. They didn't recognise me. Even my art teacher commented on it.
I'm now 18, and I do pay a lot of attention to the way I look and I do get interest from guys, but I do get paranoid about the way I look.

I was looking through some photos yesterday with my friend, and there was a picture of me in it from a few years ago. I commented on how different I looked. He then went on to say about the way i looked when I was younger, and it just made me feel so bad inside! He was basically saying how awful I looked, and agreed with me. People always comment on the way I used to look, and it really upsets me.

I don't really know what I'm looking for here exactly. I'm not looking for any sympathy as such, I guess I just want to get it off my chest cause its always something that has upset me, but when someone remarks on it, it makes it worse. Just to think that if a bf saw those pictures, I'd probably be dumped within seconds lol!!


People will usually only comment on your looks in a bad way if they think it's no longer true. Which means that people find you attractive/pretty as you are right now. So look on the bright side :smile:

And as for the bf thing - don't be stupid. If a bf would dump you based on how you used to look 10 years ago, then that guy is a right jerk and moron. It's like my bf dumping me because 19 years ago I was a baby, and it would then make him feel like a paedophile cus he saw that I used to look like a child!
As everyone else has said, at least you're gorgeous now. I was an ugger too when I was younger but sadly I haven't changed :p: If it embarasses you that much then get rid of all the pics and don't let on that you were anything other than the stunning creature you are today :smile:
I can also jump on the "I was a butt-ugly child" wagon.I was chubby and literally never brushed my hair.I had a very chubby,round face and vacant expression and wore the worst clothes until I was about 14! I was a total mess!
When I see photos of myself when I was young I just laugh and I'm glad that I dont look like that today.Its all in the past,as long as you have grown now it shouldn't matter how you looked.Be proud of yourself for you transformation.
Reply 15
I don't see the problem?
You don't look like that now..

Surely it's funny? I look back at photos of me and my mates when we were a lot younger and we all looked a proper mess. I find that funny. I like that we looked a mess because nowadays you're hard pressed to find young teenagers looking like that - they're usually trussed up to the eyeballs.

Just find some humour in it and be relieved and proud of how far you've come :wink:

My mate said to me the other month that I was 'well fat' when I got back from Germany a few years ago, and also that he's glad I'm the weight I am now because I was too thin and looked ill in 6th form. :| All in the same breath. Sometimes its hard to hear but it doesn't bother me. I just find it amusing.
Haha feel sorry for me, i think i used to look cute in all my pics as a child and now i look terrible in every single one! Reverse-ugly-duck syndrome!
Reply 17
I was the 'evil' one in my year who insisted that Yr 7 photos HAD to be inserted in the Yearbooks :biggrin:

Everyone said they didn't want me to, but when it came to it, everyone had a laugh and realised how much better they look now! Also, don't forget that fashions change!

I had greasy hair, wore glasses, couldn't put my hair up neatly, and generally looked a state.

Everyone hates how they looked in their early teens. But EVERYONE I've met looks better now!

I know others have already said this, but it needs repeating!:
If they commented on how bad you looked then, they're saying you look fantastic now, but perhaps are too afraid to say you're stunning!

Take heart. Believe you're good looking and happy and it will make you look better than you already do! :biggrin:
Reply 18
I'm the same. Up until about a year or so ago i wasn't really bothered about straightening my hair, wearing makeup or paticularly great clothes but before uni i decided i wanted to change so i got a new haircut, made sure it was neat everyday, wear make up and a whole new wardrobe. I went back into 6th form to collect some things and everyone commented on how great i looked which made me feel great.
If you dont believe me have a look at this post and look how much difference a year can make
Reply 19
JaneNorman

I don't really know what I'm looking for here exactly. I'm not looking for any sympathy as such, I guess I just want to get it off my chest cause its always something that has upset me, but when someone remarks on it, it makes it worse. Just to think that if a bf saw those pictures, I'd probably be dumped within seconds lol!!


A guy dump you for the way you USED to look years ago? If he's like that he's definitely not worth you crying over. I guess it hurts for people to comment on stuff like that, but you usually feel a bit better if you laugh it off with them and don't take it too seriously. It's in the past, right?