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Unemployed mid-20's graduate. I'm not enjoying life anymore. Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Need a place to write my thoughts down.

    I've always had a vision of where I wanted to be in life by now and I'm miles away from it. I'm at a point where I'm weighing up the things I need to do in order to get to where I want to go and deciding that it's not worth the time, misery and effort.

    I got a basic job out of sixth form which I enjoyed and which paid enough to live, however progression seemed limited and I couldn't see myself earning the salary for years to come so I quit go to University. Going to University never interested me, but I figured if I could get a good degree and persevere then I'd get a half-decent job. I enrolled onto a STEM course at a RG University and hated every single second of it. I tried every summer to get an internship to no avail and by the end of the course I was so burnt out and eager to leave that I under performed in my summer exams and missed out on a 2.1 by 1%. Immediately ruled out of 80% of grad jobs just like that.

    Everyday in the last 3 months I've trawled the job boards 9-5 applying for jobs. I've bookmarked loads of companies to avoid the competition and applied directly. I've received nothing. There's nothing wrong with my CV or applications, I've consulted every single resource and forum on the internet. I know the grad job market is tough, but I'm further along than the average 21 year old that leaves University, which makes it even more stressful.

    I look at people I used to work with at my old job and I look at people I went to school with who never went to University. Nearly all of them now have worked up from the bottom into a respectable position through hard work and I should have done the same. I now have to start again from where I was after leaving school because I made the mistake of wasting time at University.

    I know everything is my fault. I know no one owes me a job. I know University doesn't guarantee anything. I know all of this. I'm just angry with myself for making the mistakes that I've made.
    I know I'm probably depressed as well, but I'm not going to "seek help" or "go to a GP" because those things won't fix the above which is the cause of the way I feel. At the same time, I can't be bothered to start again from where I was before. I could, but I don't have the energy or drive anymore.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Need a place to write my thoughts down.

    I've always had a vision of where I wanted to be in life by now and I'm miles away from it. I'm at a point where I'm weighing up the things I need to do in order to get to where I want to go and deciding that it's not worth the time, misery and effort.

    I got a basic job out of sixth form which I enjoyed and which paid enough to live, however progression seemed limited and I couldn't see myself earning the salary for years to come so I quit go to University. Going to University never interested me, but I figured if I could get a good degree and persevere then I'd get a half-decent job. I enrolled onto a STEM course at a RG University and hated every single second of it. I tried every summer to get an internship to no avail and by the end of the course I was so burnt out and eager to leave that I under performed in my summer exams and missed out on a 2.1 by 1%. Immediately ruled out of 80% of grad jobs just like that.

    Everyday in the last 3 months I've trawled the job boards 9-5 applying for jobs. I've bookmarked loads of companies to avoid the competition and applied directly. I've received nothing. There's nothing wrong with my CV or applications, I've consulted every single resource and forum on the internet. I know the grad job market is tough, but I'm further along than the average 21 year old that leaves University, which makes it even more stressful.

    I look at people I used to work with at my old job and I look at people I went to school with who never went to University. Nearly all of them now have worked up from the bottom into a respectable position through hard work and I should have done the same. I now have to start again from where I was after leaving school because I made the mistake of wasting time at University.

    I know everything is my fault. I know no one owes me a job. I know University doesn't guarantee anything. I know all of this. I'm just angry with myself for making the mistakes that I've made.
    I know I'm probably depressed as well, but I'm not going to "seek help" or "go to a GP" because those things won't fix the above which is the cause of the way I feel. At the same time, I can't be bothered to start again from where I was before. I could, but I don't have the energy or drive anymore.
    Don't worry mate. A lot of graduates struggle to find a job but once you do from there on out it will be easy to work your way up. For now I would say just keep applying you will eventually land a job.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Need a place to write my thoughts down.I've always had a vision of where I wanted to be in life by now and I'm miles away from it. I'm at a point where I'm weighing up the things I need to do in order to get to where I want to go and deciding that it's not worth the time, misery and effort.I got a basic job out of sixth form which I enjoyed and which paid enough to live, however progression seemed limited and I couldn't see myself earning the salary for years to come so I quit go to University. Going to University never interested me, but I figured if I could get a good degree and persevere then I'd get a half-decent job. I enrolled onto a STEM course at a RG University and hated every single second of it. I tried every summer to get an internship to no avail and by the end of the course I was so burnt out and eager to leave that I under performed in my summer exams and missed out on a 2.1 by 1%. Immediately ruled out of 80% of grad jobs just like that.Everyday in the last 3 months I've trawled the job boards 9-5 applying for jobs. I've bookmarked loads of companies to avoid the competition and applied directly. I've received nothing. There's nothing wrong with my CV or applications, I've consulted every single resource and forum on the internet. I know the grad job market is tough, but I'm further along than the average 21 year old that leaves University, which makes it even more stressful.I look at people I used to work with at my old job and I look at people I went to school with who never went to University. Nearly all of them now have worked up from the bottom into a respectable position through hard work and I should have done the same. I now have to start again from where I was after leaving school because I made the mistake of wasting time at University.I know everything is my fault. I know no one owes me a job. I know University doesn't guarantee anything. I know all of this. I'm just angry with myself for making the mistakes that I've made.I know I'm probably depressed as well, but I'm not going to "seek help" or "go to a GP" because those things won't fix the above which is the cause of the way I feel. At the same time, I can't be bothered to start again from where I was before. I could, but I don't have the energy or drive anymore.
    I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyway. You shouldn't compare your life to other peoples', especially now when you're in a bad place. I was going to give my advice but you've already said it in your post. You're going to have to work your way up, use experience to your advantage if you cant use your degree. There's nothing wrong with starting later than everyone else as long as you're willing to start. Hope this helps.
    • #3
    #3

    I know the feeling. Everyone around me is driving and im just chilling on the bus in my council house struggling to pay my bills. I got a 1st and im doing my msc. Ive been rejected from pubs eventhough i have 2 years exp. Chip shops dont even respond to me. But i still hold on to hope that one day ill get a job, you should do the same.
    • #4
    #4

    I graduated 2 years ago, eventually found a job until I was made redundant a couple of weeks ago. Now I don't have work to distract me constantly (I did as much overtime as I could to hide from life), I can see just how empty my life is.

    I've failed so many interviews it isn't funny anymore, i've applied for so many jobs and nobody ever gets back to me. I have an excellent CV, I interview well, I've always smashed any productivity/KPI targets, I never take holiday or have any days off because I don't have a social life. I should be the perfect employee. So why does nobody want me?

    I also feel that uni was a complete waste of time. None of my "friends" bothered to keep in touch and my degree is absolutely useless. Luckily I got in just before the fees went up to £9,000.

    My only social interaction since I finished work has been interviews, I have no friends and i'm so ugly I have no hope of ever getting a girlfriend, i'll never own my own home, I can't drive, i'm so fat I have stretch marks... i'm increasingly wondering exactly why I go on.

    Everyone I went to uni with is on a really good grad scheme or they're engaged, already married, homeowners, parents... whilst i'm stuck shivering in a *****y studio flat wishing I had somebody to talk to.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I graduated 2 years ago, eventually found a job until I was made redundant a couple of weeks ago. Now I don't have work to distract me constantly (I did as much overtime as I could to hide from life), I can see just how empty my life is.

    I've failed so many interviews it isn't funny anymore, i've applied for so many jobs and nobody ever gets back to me. I have an excellent CV, I interview well, I've always smashed any productivity/KPI targets, I never take holiday or have any days off because I don't have a social life. I should be the perfect employee. So why does nobody want me?

    I also feel that uni was a complete waste of time. None of my "friends" bothered to keep in touch and my degree is absolutely useless. Luckily I got in just before the fees went up to £9,000.

    My only social interaction since I finished work has been interviews, I have no friends and i'm so ugly I have no hope of ever getting a girlfriend, i'll never own my own home, I can't drive, i'm so fat I have stretch marks... i'm increasingly wondering exactly why I go on.

    Everyone I went to uni with is on a really good grad scheme or they're engaged, already married, homeowners, parents... whilst i'm stuck shivering in a *****y studio flat wishing I had somebody to talk to.
    Can't you contact your previous universities for careers advice? I know you're graduated but it's only been two years.. Surely they can give some advice in terms of employability?
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    **** you hear about how difficult it is for young people these days... this thread is definitely a shining example of the moral of a lot of people our age atm.

    You say going to your doctor or 'getting help' won't be useful but if it gives you the breathing space to acknowledge yourself and your vulnerabilities hopefully it'll allow you access to other resources and support you in your looking for work/working your way up.

    We are not all the same and the people you're competing with clearly have a different set of circumstances which is allowing them to meet these milestones. Something is not working for you and you need to change your tactics and most of all start to look after yourself rather than beating yourself up about it. And again as much as it isn't as glamourous and society is not exactly fair in this respect, starting from the bottom does not mean that you can't work your way up! Some things may have to give in the short term but only to grow in the long run!

    Please seek the help/advice/support you need. There is no shame in doing so it's only sensible!
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    Hey, I graduated from a respectable uni with a respectable degree with a 2.1. I even did a placement year.

    Since graduation, I have made 150+ applications, had numerous phone interviews, been on one-on-one interviews and assessment centres. But I have had no luck. I know exactly how you feel. I took a part time job on a 0 hours contract and barely got any hours. I feel like I should have done a vocational course or an apprenticeship. Maybe then, I would have a job. Some apprenticeships pay more than graduate jobs. Its an absolute joke. I have been applying to anything and everything. I even applied to warehouse job.

    The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I did that and it made me miserable. So I no longer compare myself to others.

    I have signed up with a couple of recruitment agencies around my area. So I have got two interviews next week. I suggest you do the same.

    Please feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.

    Fellow struggling graduate.
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    I'm 24 and graduated just over two years ago so I'm assuming me and you are similar age and situation. (Although I got a 2:1 and liked my STEM degree and enjoyed it)

    As someone who was in and out of employment of temp wage- slave warehouse jobs for two years after graduating going to a doctor and getting anti-depressants/therapy did help. Also I volunteered each week and did lots of cycling and stuff to keep active and get me out the house when I was unemployed for long stretches. Like no matter what happens I am good at cycling up hills. You can always do things to make yourself feel better (but depression does make that a lot ****ing harder which is why you should see if you can get help for that).

    I'm not really out of the woods now. I've gone back to uni to do a computing conversion MSc which may help me sort things out a bit or I might be back in square one once I finish. But right now I feel better than I did this time last year by a long shot.
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    You say you don't want anyone to suggest getting help or seeing a GP, but this is still a really good thing to do. No, it will not change your current employment situation. It can, however, help you deal with it better. It makes so much difference. At least consider it. What do you have to lose by trying? It's not your fault. You didn't go to uni thinking 'I want to feel really bad about myself and my situation'. It's no one's fault. It just happens, unfortunately
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I graduated 2 years ago, eventually found a job until I was made redundant a couple of weeks ago. Now I don't have work to distract me constantly (I did as much overtime as I could to hide from life), I can see just how empty my life is.

    I've failed so many interviews it isn't funny anymore, i've applied for so many jobs and nobody ever gets back to me. I have an excellent CV, I interview well, I've always smashed any productivity/KPI targets, I never take holiday or have any days off because I don't have a social life. I should be the perfect employee. So why does nobody want me?

    I also feel that uni was a complete waste of time. None of my "friends" bothered to keep in touch and my degree is absolutely useless. Luckily I got in just before the fees went up to £9,000.

    My only social interaction since I finished work has been interviews, I have no friends and i'm so ugly I have no hope of ever getting a girlfriend, i'll never own my own home, I can't drive, i'm so fat I have stretch marks... i'm increasingly wondering exactly why I go on.

    Everyone I went to uni with is on a really good grad scheme or they're engaged, already married, homeowners, parents... whilst i'm stuck shivering in a *****y studio flat wishing I had somebody to talk to.
    You talk about your lack of a social life - well unfortunately these days social skills are one of the most important attributes one must have if they want a job, particularly a graduate level role.

    Pretty much 100% of all high level jobs involve a combination of teamwork, verbal communication, and dealing with clients/the public. No one wants to employ someone who just sits in the corner not interacting with anyone, no matter how effective they may be at hitting targets.

    I reccommend you put yourself into a position where you can develop these skills, which will help you come across better in interviews. Volunteering in a charity shop would be perfect for this.
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    (Original post by benjila)
    Hey, I graduated from a respectable uni with a respectable degree with a 2.1. I even did a placement year.

    Since graduation, I have made 150+ applications, had numerous phone interviews, been on one-on-one interviews and assessment centres. But I have had no luck. I know exactly how you feel. I took a part time job on a 0 hours contract and barely got any hours. I feel like I should have done a vocational course or an apprenticeship. Maybe then, I would have a job. Some apprenticeships pay more than graduate jobs. Its an absolute joke. I have been applying to anything and everything. I even applied to warehouse job.

    The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I did that and it made me miserable. So I no longer compare myself to others.

    I have signed up with a couple of recruitment agencies around my area. So I have got two interviews next week. I suggest you do the same.

    Please feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.

    Fellow struggling graduate.
    Hi,

    Wow, what a coincidence hey! I too, went to a respectable university and got a First Class Honours in Computing - a STEM subject. I too, did a placement year - just like you.

    I went on holiday after graduating and since September I have had to make a number of applications for jobs that I was interested in. I got a lot of rejections on the way and that made me feel down and miserable. I helped run my parents business and still do as we speak - so I guess in that regard we are both similar as we both work somewhere.

    Never doubt a degree. Seriously, NEVER DOUBT A DEGREE! You worked HARD to earn that degree. Sure, people on apprenticeships may earn more money than you or have more money than you - as they don't do to university - but my friend let me tell you something that will make you happy. A degree is for LIFE. Whether you are 96 years old or 23 years old, that degree will always be valid. It will always have a VALUE and be an ACCOMPLISHMENT or ACHIEVEMENT that you can be very proud of! A degree is a necessity and an invaluable asset to ones' arsenal when it comes to looking for a job. More and more employers are now looking for a degree for even the most basic of jobs.

    Like you have rightly said, NEVER compare yourself to others. It will if anything it will only hinder you from success if you compare to others. I hope all is going well for you and oh by the way screw those apprenticeships. They may mean something now - wait 5 years down the line when everyone has a degree and that becomes the mandatory benchmark for any job
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I graduated 2 years ago, eventually found a job until I was made redundant a couple of weeks ago. Now I don't have work to distract me constantly (I did as much overtime as I could to hide from life), I can see just how empty my life is.

    I've failed so many interviews it isn't funny anymore, i've applied for so many jobs and nobody ever gets back to me. I have an excellent CV, I interview well, I've always smashed any productivity/KPI targets, I never take holiday or have any days off because I don't have a social life. I should be the perfect employee. So why does nobody want me?

    I also feel that uni was a complete waste of time. None of my "friends" bothered to keep in touch and my degree is absolutely useless. Luckily I got in just before the fees went up to £9,000.

    My only social interaction since I finished work has been interviews, I have no friends and i'm so ugly I have no hope of ever getting a girlfriend, i'll never own my own home, I can't drive, i'm so fat I have stretch marks... i'm increasingly wondering exactly why I go on.

    Everyone I went to uni with is on a really good grad scheme or they're engaged, already married, homeowners, parents... whilst i'm stuck shivering in a *****y studio flat wishing I had somebody to talk to.
    Wow you sound a lot like me who used to have the same feelings as you. I used to be depressed like you and I completely get where you are coming from. I still don't have many friends now and yes it can be hard to find friends - however always remember that you can make friends here. Hell, you may have made a friend now! My advice is to be open like myself. I never post stuff anonymously here. Don't be anonymous. In fact please feel free to PM me privately.
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    people act like getting a job is the be all and end all, chances are you're being discriminated against for being weird/ugly, so just claim benefits without guilt and do whatever you enjoy in life, obv keep applying for jobs but look towards running your own company instead.
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    Aw.. Thank you for your kind and wise words. I got a job last month after six months of job hunting. It's been so worth it! I have learned so much about myself than I probably wouldnt have if it wasn't for the rejection, humiliation and a whole lot more along the way. Hope you're well?
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    (Original post by benjila)
    Aw.. Thank you for your kind and wise words. I got a job last month after six months of job hunting. It's been so worth it! I have learned so much about myself than I probably wouldnt have if it wasn't for the rejection, humiliation and a whole lot more along the way. Hope you're well?
    I assume you are the thread starter - please correct me if I am wrong. Congratulations on getting your job. Yes it can take a long time to get a job but once you get one it is a good addition and asset to your C.V. Rejection is a way of life and can be a daily occurrence. It can be from being rejected by that girl/guy you have a crush on all the way down to say getting rejected for a decent credit card. It is how we deal with rejection that makes us stronger and resilient. Like you, I have been rejected in life for many things including jobs. I always wanted to give up but I always tried harder or made small changes. Now I have a temporary job that I will use to get something else.
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    (Original post by yunglife)
    Hi,

    Wow, what a coincidence hey! I too, went to a respectable university and got a First Class Honours in Computing - a STEM subject. I too, did a placement year - just like you.

    I went on holiday after graduating and since September I have had to make a number of applications for jobs that I was interested in. I got a lot of rejections on the way and that made me feel down and miserable. I helped run my parents business and still do as we speak - so I guess in that regard we are both similar as we both work somewhere.

    Never doubt a degree. Seriously, NEVER DOUBT A DEGREE! You worked HARD to earn that degree. Sure, people on apprenticeships may earn more money than you or have more money than you - as they don't do to university - but my friend let me tell you something that will make you happy. A degree is for LIFE. Whether you are 96 years old or 23 years old, that degree will always be valid. It will always have a VALUE and be an ACCOMPLISHMENT or ACHIEVEMENT that you can be very proud of! A degree is a necessity and an invaluable asset to ones' arsenal when it comes to looking for a job. More and more employers are now looking for a degree for even the most basic of jobs.

    Like you have rightly said, NEVER compare yourself to others. It will if anything it will only hinder you from success if you compare to others. I hope all is going well for you and oh by the way screw those apprenticeships. They may mean something now - wait 5 years down the line when everyone has a degree and that becomes the mandatory benchmark for any job
    I'm sorry, sunshine, but if you want to stand a chance at getting a job you DO need to compare yourself to others. Why are they getting the job where you aren't? What skills and experience do they have that you lack?
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    (Original post by Len Goodman)
    I'm sorry, sunshine, but if you want to stand a chance at getting a job you DO need to compare yourself to others. Why are they getting the job where you aren't? What skills and experience do they have that you lack?
    Whilst I somewhat understand what you are trying to get at - you got to also understand that everyone is different. Yes, hundreds will apply for a job that you are interested in. Yes, they may have qualities or assets that you may not have but at the end of the day - the employer, the hiring manager - wants to know if you are competent enough to do the job. In the context of a job search, yes to a degree you may be compared to against other candidates BUT in life as a whole or in general, you are not really compared. If you start comparing yourself to others, it will only leave you with false hopes and negativitiy. Trust me, I used to be that guy. You are just being fake and not sticking to your guns and "real you". I know people my age starting businesses in photography, arts and entertainment. Should I do the same? Sure, theoretically, I can just say yes and attempt what they are doing - but in reality, I would crumple and stall. Why? Because business is not really for me, especially photography, arts and music. Who cares if they have their own company. Good on them for making something out of themselves and challenging themselves. I am happy for them if anything. Doesn't necessarily mean that I have to do the same.
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    **** you hear about how difficult it is for young people these days... this thread is definitely a shining example of the moral of a lot of people our age atm.

    You say going to your doctor or 'getting help' won't be useful but if it gives you the breathing space to acknowledge yourself and your vulnerabilities hopefully it'll allow you access to other resources and support you in your looking for work/working your way up.

    We are not all the same and the people you're competing with clearly have a different set of circumstances which is allowing them to meet these milestones. Something is not working for you and you need to change your tactics and most of all start to look after yourself rather than beating yourself up about it. And again as much as it isn't as glamourous and society is not exactly fair in this respect, starting from the bottom does not mean that you can't work your way up! Some things may have to give in the short term but only to grow in the long run!

    Please seek the help/advice/support you need. There is no shame in doing so it's only sensible!
    It's middle class problems as hell. Everyone here was told they were a special high flying genius, gifted and talented list at school etc to anything less that being a White collar professional age 30 is a great injustice.
 
 
 
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