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Confused by something a male friend said to me Watch

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    I was talking to a male friend the other day on chat. I've always seen him as a brother from another mother type. AND he has a girlfriend. Anyway, during this chat, he asked me if I wanted to know a secret. Of course I said yes, having no idea what he was going to say. Then he said that he's thought about me while masturbating, on a number of occasions. Then he basically said that he was touching himself as we were speaking. I asked him if he was joking because I honestly thought that he was. And he said he'd said me a photo or video call me to prove it. Obviously, this was a situation that I did not want to see so I just said I believed him. Then I tried to light-heartedly drop the fact that he shouldn't video girls when he has a girlfriend. He told me something like "of course not but we're friends and I trust you. Obviously nothing's going to happen." Like tf??Then he tried to video call me anyway and I just sat there and didn't answer so he ended the call. He said sorry and then the conversation just carried on as normal. I genuinely feel like he didn't see anything wrong with what he did. He was so laid back about it.
    Maybe I'm a little bit naïve when it comes to relationships and sex talk. I've never had sex or anything like that due to religious reasons and I've only kissed one person. I mean, I understand cultural differences when it comes to things like this but, surely, it's not normal for men to admit things like that when they're in a relationship. Even if he didn't have a girlfriend, I wouldn't have been happy about it. I can't explain but I almost felt a little upset. I don't get why he would bother to tell me this stuff? Did he think I would just go along with it or that it wouldn't bother me? It felt like something so seedy. Why would he even think of sending e pictures to me? I've never given him that impression. I was even talking to him about the guy that I like. I'm confused...
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    He probably thought you were game. Given the nature of texting, I can see how he can be confused. Anyway, it's perfectly normal for guys in relationships to do this. Girls too. It's called cheating, but it's perfectly normal. NB: I do not endorse cheating, it is reprehensible and reflects deep psychological issues in my opinion.NB2: By "normal", I mean it happens frequently.
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    This is a very difficult and intimate situation. I should warn you that I see no quick-fix to your predicament. In bold are the bits that I am most concerned about.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was talking to a male friend the other day on chat. I've always seen him as a brother from another mother type. AND he has a girlfriend. Anyway, during this chat, he asked me if I wanted to know a secret. Of course I said yes, having no idea what he was going to say. Then he said that he's thought about me while masturbating, on a number of occasions. Then he basically said that he was touching himself as we were speaking. I asked him if he was joking because I honestly thought that he was. And he said he'd send me a photo or video call me to prove it. Obviously, this was a situation that I did not want to see so I just said I believed him. Then I tried to light-heartedly drop the fact that he shouldn't video girls when he has a girlfriend. He told me something like "of course not but we're friends and I trust you. Obviously nothing's going to happen." Like what?Then he tried to video call me anyway and I just sat there and didn't answer so he ended the call. He said sorry and then the conversation just carried on as normal. I genuinely feel like he didn't see anything wrong with what he did. He was so laid back about it.

    Maybe I'm a little bit naïve when it comes to relationships and sex talk. I've never had sex or anything like that due to religious reasons and I've only kissed one person. I mean, I understand cultural differences when it comes to things like this but, surely, it's not normal for men to admit things like that when they're in a relationship. Even if he didn't have a girlfriend, I wouldn't have been happy about it. I can't explain but I almost felt a little upset. I don't get why he would bother to tell me this stuff? Did he think I would just go along with it or that it wouldn't bother me? It felt like something so seedy. Why would he even think of sending e pictures to me? I've never given him that impression. I was even talking to him about the guy that I like. I'm confused...
    This seems to be about your relationship with him. You need to ask yourself if there is any change that either of you have gone through recently that may have led to this. Was this a one-off event, or has there been a build-up? It seems to me that he is struggling to see a boundary between you. Personally, what goes through a man's/boy's mind when orgasmic should be for them and them alone. What I would suggest is that whatever he is thinking is potentially (probably) fanatical. Looking forward you need to wonder if he has learnt from this event. One thing I would definitely not do is tell his girlfriend or his parents (in case that entered your head): this is mainly about you and him. Has he ever been over-familiar before? Also, by you saying that you believe him, do you think he'd feel that you were condoning this action, and might encourage further events (just a thought)? One thing that is good though is that he does not seem to be in love with you by his comments (if lustful towards you). Personally, I see no problem his personal thoughts. The problem is in telling you. Please respond so that we can work out the best solution going forward.
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    (Original post by swirly)
    SA-1 does this to Wavefunction
    Tl;dr

    Also y u so mad
 
 
 
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