I know I posted a little while ago thinking I'm depressed but I still haven't gone to the doctor, I just feel so pathetic and I don't want to ask for help for anything and I hate that.
In two days time I'm going to be homeless. I don't mean homeless like I can just move back into my parents house I actually really don't have anywhere to go all because I didn't ask for help. I feel like a total failure right now, I'm only 19 and my life is already ****ed up. I'm going to be living on the street in two days.
Yesterday I had an argument with the phone company and as I was crossing the road to come home I almost walked out infront of a truck, I was in such a state that I wasn't looking and some woman pulled me back in time. Now I'm sat here and I'm actually entertaining ideas of packing my stuff and just going for it. I wouldn't really want to die but at least it could hurt me enough to put me in hospital then I would have somewhere to go.
I know I'm being really silly and I deserve flaming but I need help. I need help. I could say it online a million times but I can't bring myself to do anything about it.
I can't offer much advice on the housing front but as far as having depression and not wanting to get help i can relate to you.
You should try and speak to somebody about how you feel though, I know that it can be scary and you probably feel like you don't want to burden other people by talking about yourself but seriously it can help so much. I have only recently started counseling so I’m not much help but I know that I feel a lot better than before I started.
Is there any chance you could/would be willing to go to the docs or find a counselor or somebody else to talk too?
I do want to go to the doctor, I'm just scared. I don't know how to approach the situation and I don't want it to be something which will haunt me forever.
It's a decision that you have to make by yourself, i got to the stage where i wanted to get help because i didn't want to feel how i was feeling any longer. Something just clicked and i forced myself to speak to the Dr. It seems that you know that you need help and are at a stage where you also want it, am i right?
It is one of those things where you have tell yourself that you deserve to feel better and you owe it to yourself to take a step to get help, what do you have to lose? It seems the path you are on is one of self-destruction and if talking to somebody could improve that path then surely you have to go for it?
I'm sure doctors have to deal with something like this everyday, I know it must be very hard, but the longer you leave it the harder it will get.