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Help

Yesterday, my best friend died. She's had a lot of health problems over her years and this summer was in and out of hospital a couple of times. Last time I saw her she was looking better than she ever has done. She had a new medicine. That was just a week ago. We went shopping then went back to her house and had pizza and chatted.
I left early to see my boyfriend. Theres no saying how guilty I feel but it's in the past and theres nothing I can do now.

This morning her mum phoned to tell me. And asked me to tell our other friends. I've had a few hours and decided I wanted to get the calls out of the way. So I called one friend. I messed up so badly. Just started crying and then blurted out she was dead. My friend was barely even up. It's bad enough but to be told like that must have been horrible. I've just made it so much worse.
Anyway, theres another friend I should phone. But I'm so scared I'll do the same. Help?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I phoned her. And I think I managed ok this time.
Typing it out really helped. I know not many people have read this, but I don't mind. Just getting it into words helps a bit.

I really hope my other friend is ok though. She's been a bit funny lately anyway. And now.

I have a new question.

What do you do when someone dies? Do I send flowers or what? I've had a lot of pets, and I know that when I buried them and planted a plant, went throught the "traditions" it helped. But I don't really have a clue what I'm meant to do when a human dies.

Reply 2

generalebriety

I'm really sorry to hear about this. Hope you're feeling ok.

The obvious thing to do is offer your condolences to the family, turn up at the funeral and so on. Sending flowers is nice but by no means essential - they probably have bigger things to worry about than who sends them flowers. Don't worry about all that. Deal with mourning her death in your own way, and if you feel capable of doing so, let the family know that if they need anything, you'll be there to help them. But it's perfectly natural to feel that you can't, and don't feel obliged to strain yourself over traditions and formalities - the chances are they will barely notice if you don't, and if they do notice, they'll understand.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Sorry to hear that :smile:

Flowers are a good choice but you could give something that meant a lot to your friend, for example a football top if your friend liked football. xxx

Reply 4

Enchanté

Sorry to hear that :hugs:

One of my best friends died in hospital a few months back, I was pretty upset when I told people I couldn't face it and neither could a few of my other friends, but we did in the end.
I just took some flowers at this memorial type service we had after the funeral and so did a load of other people, we also offered our condolences to the family when we arrived and left.

Thanks guys.

Bloody hell :frown:

sorry to hear that

Reply 7

Beckysparkle

maybe instead of flowers you could donate to a charity she was close to or something? That could be a positive move.

Reply 8

davidthomasrau

Maybe you could write their tribute, and a bit about their life, on the online book of remembrance site at www.remembrance-book.co.uk I've got a relative on there. It's all free, and you can add as much as you like including a photo. You could then tell relatives and friends where the tribute is.

David

Reply 9

Infected Mushroom

I'm really sorry. I'm glad that the other phone call went better for you. As for the flowers, i think it would be a really sweet gesture but as people have already said it is not essential. How about going to visit the family and give your condolences.

^^ the remebrance book sounds like a really good idea.

Reply 10

aeiou81

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

:hugs:

I agree with what was said above - you could give flowers but giving something that she would have loved would be a great gift too.

Hope you're OK :hugs: