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So angry with my bf right now! (LONG POST).

Hey everyone.

I am so angry with my bf. We've had some problems, well me really cos I find it hard to trust people and stuff but i'm seeing a counsellor to help me.Anyway last night he was decorating his shop with this girl he works with who have been friends since college and I hate her. I did want to do it but I did say don't worry, you go do the shop, i'll see you Sunday. I'm meant to be going to his for dinner tonight but as it stands at the mo, i'm not anymore. Then his other friend (male - also college friend) asked him to go out for some drinks so him and this girl went. Yes I didn't like it but I can't stop him going out - that's not right.

Thing is he didn't txt me or anything so I was getting worried and then I txt him saying can you phone me as im getting worried about you. So he phoned me and said sorry but he left his phone in his car. I was so angry and upset that he'd gone out (silly I know) so I put the phone down on him. Then he rang back and said hey you put the phone down on me and I heard HER in the background laugh and say oooh thats not very nice. God I hate her so much! I stupidly told her about my problems last week and now I think she thinks shes got the upper hand knowing how i feel. She said they're going to the cinema next week and i'll jsut have to grit my teeth and grin and bear it. Bitch!

Anyway this morning he txt me asking how I was and I said still pissed off but anyway I was gonna pop down to the shop later to spend some time with you. Cos i'm working the next 2 weekends and we usually see each other on a Sunday.But he's rung me and he says not to be horrible but i'll get in the way and theres nothing for me to do which is true. However this girl will be there so I was trying to explain to him how come she wont be in the way. And I said why I can't I do what she'll be doing so we can spend time together basically meaning for her to not be there but he got angry and I said right im not coming over tonight now. And he was like fine and we havent spoken since.

I'm so angry with him and upset but I do wanna see him tonight. He just gets frustrated with me when I talk about her and stuff cos he knows I have trust issues etc but to me I think he's in the wrong and I wanna tell him about it.What do you all think? Sorry for the long post. Do you think he will ring me? I think he should coem say sorry to me not me to him as i'm always doing that. But i'm worried he wont and i wont see him tonight. :frown:

Help x

Reply 1

xxsarahjwxx

Ok my first thought would be that you need to try and vent some of your anger-go for a run or put some loud music on or have a nap (that always makes things less angry/upsetting for me). Then think about it after you have calmed down a bit.
When you're calm, talk to him. Tell him how insecure this girl makes you feel and how it upsets you. Tell him that you want to spend time with him.
Well done for not stopping him going out, that's admirable considering the situation. I would be insanely jealous and insecure about that girl so i think you're coping really well. But in the end, if you truly trust your bf, then you need to try and relax about him seeing her if there's no way of avoiding it. And make sure he spends more time with you than he does with her-that's only fair (girlfriends rights!).

Reply 2

sparkle86

OP

11

He knows how insecure I am with her. I always have been. I've gotta get showered to go into town with my sister but i'm so angry and upset, I can't. I wanna talk to him but I want him to ring me! x

Reply 3

rawkingpunkster

Ha. Trust issues would be your fault, wouldn't it.

At the same time, if he really loves you, he will do his best to reassure you. Although if you're having trust problems all the time, it gets fairly frustrating. Learn to let go, or even flirt a little with the guys around you. :smile:

just don't think about the worst, and you'll be ok.

Reply 4

sparkle86

OP

11

He still hasn't rung me yet. :frown:

Do you think I should hold out still cos I really don't want to be the first one to apologise as I don't think it's my fault. I want him to learn he's upset me. But i'm scared he won't ring me and then I won't be able to see him tonight. Any ideas? x

Reply 5

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

14

He probably is trying to figure out what he's actually done wrong. I don't see how he needs to apologise, I think you're the one who needs to say sorry to him for going mad like that. Calm down and txt him and say you're sorry and you were having a bad night because you were worried. He's with you, because he loves you, not her. But you do need to sort yourself out in regards to trust.

Reply 6

sparkle86

OP

11

Well i've just rung him cos I couldn't bear it any longer. He said he was sorry and I said I was sorry and we said we loved each other and I asked if I could still go round his for dinner tongiht and he said yes. Thank God. I was actually really nervous about ringing him.

Thanks for your replies though. x

Reply 7

username47781

20

I'm warning you, carry on behaving this way, as I have said in a million of your past threads, he will dump you unless you learn to trust him. I don't want to sound harsh but that is the reality of it.

Reply 8

sparkle86

OP

11

I know, that is why I have started seeing a counsellor. Me being confident and trusting won't happen overnight.

Reply 9

username47781

20

Well no but just saying if you continue to be like this, he is going to get sick of it.

Reply 10

sparkle86

OP

11

I know, that's why i'm trying to sort it out asap.

Reply 11

username47781

20

sparkle86

I know, that's why i'm trying to sort it out asap.

Well that's fair enough you are trying to do something about it, just staying least cut him some slack. He is perfectly allowed to have other friends. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. I think he has been extremely patient.

Reply 12

Knotty

It sounds to me like he's not really thought or realised what his actions are making you feel; either that, or he just doesn't care.

Reply 13

sparkle86

OP

11

Hey.

Just an update on things. I went to his last night and I was in a mood all evening which I regret because he must of thought oh for ******* sake, grow up or whatever. But later on, we had a chat about it all and he said he doesnt like it when me and this girl are in the same room as he feels the tension between us and he feels like he's being pulled between me and her and he doesnt know who to please.

I understand he finds it very hard and i'm gonna try alot harder to make it easier for him. He said he knows he should of txt me Saturday night to say he would be out but he knew i'd be upset so I guess that's why he didn't. I just gotta try and be ok with it when he goes out. It's hard but i'm hoping this counsellor will help me.

I just hope I can try and keep my cool and learn that he does love me etc. And I gotta try and go out with mates more but as I say, it's hard cos they're usually busy or something, that's why I need new friends.

Thanks for all your replies. x

Reply 14

pumpkin7

13

meh. green eyed jealousy monster. i know him well.

he didn't know who to please out of his girlfriend and his mate? i know they say friends are for life, partners are not or whatever, but meh.. that answer should have been simple.

So angry with my bf right now! (LONG POST).

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