Why most women fall love with Bad boys ! Watch

red
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#21
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#21
"Most women" is a massive generalisation.
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Segat1
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Rennie)
Not all nice guys have to be 'mummy's boys' or doormats. You can be nice whilst being spontaneous and having a good time.
Sorry, didn't realise I'd said that you had to be nasty whilst being spontaneous :rolleyes:

Seriously, some nice guys are such pushovers it's embarrassing, this is the doormat **** I'm referring to. And all their girl mates say "Oh you're such a nice guy, why are you single". All the girl mates would never date them, because they're wet and weedy and hang out with girls *all the time*. Assertiveness is brilliant in the right measure. And when you get an assertive guy, people label them as arrogant and egotistical. Granted some are, but come on. Harden the **** up and act like you've some balls. SNAGs are so over - gentlemen please come back!
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dyslexic_banana
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#23
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(Original post by Segat1)
Seriously, some nice guys are such pushovers it's embarrassing, this is the doormat **** I'm referring to.
I think men who pay for women are pushovers/doormats.
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Segat1
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#24
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I agree. If I'm earning, then I offer to pay. I just do not see why the man should have to pay. If I offer, and he refuses, then we've just done the little dating dance of money. And next time I'll make sure I pay.
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Sticky
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#25
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(Original post by Segat1)
I'd rather go for someone who has a bit of fire, passion and sense of risk than a mummys boy who might be nice and all but frankly boring as ****.
I don't think your description of what a "nice guy" or a "bad boy" is, is particularly right. Actually most confident "bad boys" will tend to have a good relationship with their mothers.

A guy who doesn't have a good relationship with their Mum tends to be an emotional mess, who can't have proper relationships with women. Not at all the same than being a bad boy.

I'd be careful with appearances in any case. It's not always that easy to tell you is truly a bad boy and who is a nice guy. I'm unashamedly viewed as a nice guy, just because I don't really go around with some massive ego, or attitude or chip on my shoulder. However, I have to say that I'm really not a nice guy. When people actually get to see the actual side, it's quite a different story.

For example, I've had people who didn't know me that well, think I must be some pushover they can throw their frustrations at, because I seem polite and respectful. The fact is, when I've actually decided to stop being nice to them, they **** in their pants and go quiet for several weeks. LOL.

To be honest, it's great having the appearance of a nice guy. I'm a nice guy because I'm respectful of other people but I'm far from being a pushover. It's so cool when you remind people that.
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Segat1
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#26
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Well, a mummy's boy doesn't necc mean that he's close to his mother - I think it is fair to say that the term has become synonymous with being wet.

As for the rest of your post - meh. I can tell you right now that first impressions count. Polite and respectful is not being a pushover - it's assertive and confident. I'd much prefer someone be straight up with me than do something to impress or capitulate with what I want to do jsut because they fancy me.
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Ink
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#27
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It's commonly known fact that the more badass someone is, the bigger his **** is.
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dyslexic_banana
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#28
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(Original post by Segat1)
Seriously, some nice guys are such pushovers it's embarrassing, this is the doormat **** I'm referring to. And all their girl mates say "Oh you're such a nice guy, why are you single". All the girl mates would never date them, because they're wet and weedy and hang out with girls *all the time*. Assertiveness is brilliant in the right measure. And when you get an assertive guy, people label them as arrogant and egotistical. Granted some are, but come on. Harden the **** up and act like you've some balls. SNAGs are so over - gentlemen please come back!
Do you think it would be possible for a guy to still be really nice, have a heart of gold, and affectionate a nature, but also be assertive, spontaneous, risk-taking, and in firm possession of his balls, so to speak? Just that I'd argue it was, yet I think what 'Rennie' might have noted, is that, whenever nice guys are spoken of, in this context, there seems automatically to be 'wet, weedy, boring, pushover' associations made.

(Original post by Segat1)
I agree. If I'm earning, then I offer to pay. I just do not see why the man should have to pay. If I offer, and he refuses, then we've just done the little dating dance of money. And next time I'll make sure I pay.
Highly commendable.
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Segat1
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#29
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Look, it is possible to be a complete legend and still be honest and have some balls. And be nice. Why should the two be exclusive? I've met lots of lovely guys like this, and it's just so much more attractive than Mr Nice who doesn't speak up, goes along with what you suggest to keep you happy - WTF? Yes, you'll get labelled nice, but man o man, be honest. If you don't want to come shopping with me - yet another ****ty thing inflicted on boyfriends, very sorry about this - then don't come because you think you should as your "duty" as a bf. Tell me you'd rather stay home and watch the rugby. Be honest. etc.
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dyslexic_banana
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#30
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(Original post by Segat1)
Look, it is possible to be a complete legend and still be honest and have some balls. And be nice. Why should the two be exclusive? I've met lots of lovely guys like this, and it's just so much more attractive than Mr Nice who doesn't speak up, goes along with what you suggest to keep you happy - WTF? Yes, you'll get labelled nice, but man o man, be honest. If you don't want to come shopping with me - yet another ****ty thing inflicted on boyfriends, very sorry about this - then don't come because you think you should as your "duty" as a bf. Tell me you'd rather stay home and watch the rugby. Be honest. etc.
Totally fair enough. But, like I say, I think people were thinking you were saying nice and the other things are mutually exclusive, because, in this type of thread, there always seems to be the immediate associations between a guy being nice, and a guy being a pushover, as if the two things are synonymous. I think this is untrue, and I also don't think that an assertive, fun, risk-taking etc guy, should automatically be labelled a 'bad boy'.
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shauny
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#31
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#31
Segat1, in my opinion, is right on the money. Women like a MAN, not a pushover or a wuss. It's not actually bad boys they're attracted to, it's REAL MEN. It just so happens that 'bad boys' are generally real men, because they have the balls and assertiveness that real men have.

'Nice Guys', on the other hand, are generally wusses and pushovers who have no balls and are ultimately pussies. Being a nice guy, on the other hand, is totally different and is perfectly compatible with being a real man.

I'm gonna use my girlfriend's dad as an example. He's a nice bloke, very pleasant, and he's definitely not a 'bad boy'. But damn, he's assertive, responsible, quite spontaneous, very confident and hell knows he's NOT a pushover. He's a very nice guy, yet he's still a real man and possesses the qualities that women find attractive.

So yeah, to sum up, it's the qualities (confidence, assertiveness, spontaneity etc) most 'bad boys' possess that women find attractive - but these qualities are not just exclusively found in bad boys. I'm sure a lot of people would agree with me here.

..shauny
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naivesincerity
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Ink)
It's commonly known fact that the more badass someone is, the bigger his **** is.
Haha, that's what you think as a woman.
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Segat1
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#33
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#33
I don't think nice and pushover is synonmous all the time, but in my experience, the guy who is described as "Nice" is a pushover. *shrug*

The guy who is nice and assertive and spontaneous is described as a "Top bloke" or a "Legend" or equiv.

And the ******, ******** guy is refered to "Being a complete knob/other word".
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Sithius
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#34
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#34
What makes me laugh is how most people here would define 'bad boy'. It's probably something pathetic like trying to avoid paying a parking ticket.

If you really enjoy someone, in the truest sense of the word, who is bad, enjoy your relationship while it lasts.
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naivesincerity
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#35
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(Original post by Segat1)
I don't think nice and pushover is synonmous all the time, but in my experience, the guy who is described as "Nice" is a pushover. *shrug*

The guy who is nice and assertive and spontaneous is described as a "Top bloke" or a "Legend" or equiv.

And the ******, ******** guy is refered to "Being a complete knob/other word".
How would you define being a pushover? Behavioural example?
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Segat1
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#36
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Well, here's some generalised things:

Doing what I want to do, and not saying no if you don't want to do it.
Not arguing back/challenging i.e. "yes dear".
Asking permission to go out with the boys *ARRGH*.
Can't take the piss out of you. Or have the piss taken out of them.

Get me ?
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naivesincerity
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#37
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#37
(Original post by Segat1)
Well, here's some generalised things:

Doing what I want to do, and not saying no if you don't want to do it.
Not arguing back/challenging i.e. "yes dear".
Asking permission to go out with the boys *ARRGH*.
Can't take the piss out of you. Or have the piss taken out of them.

Get me ?
I get you. I've never known of anyone who asks their GF permission to see friends though.
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TopSortedMadForIt
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#38
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I think what Shauny said isclose to the truth but still slightly inaccurate. The way I see it is like this: there is basically a pyramid shaped hierarchy of attractiveness(more on the bottom, fewer on the top) of boys/men, and it goes a little something like this:

Real men
Badboys
Nice guys

Nice guys are, well, too nice. On one hand he is Ok with being emotional around women, treats her with respect etc. BUT They get pushed around easily, have little aggression (qhich makes them boring in bed), pander to women, suck up to them etc.

Bad boys are at the other end of the scale. On one hand, they are independant, exciting, challenging, strong, protective, etc. But on the other they are emotinally distant, may cheat, lie and generally treat their women like ****.

The real man has the good elements from both, and the bad from neither. He is indepedent but not distant, strong but not violent. Not to aggressive but not to timid in bed, challenging but doesn't lie or cheat etc. Obviously this guy is hard to find, and obviously he is very desirable to women, and when a woman has found one she will keep a hold of him.

As you can see, badboys are further up the hierarchy than nice guys, and real men are actually pretty rare, so therefore badboys get laid a lot.

All this> IMO.
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Segat1
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#39
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#39
(Original post by naivesincerity)
I get you. I've never known of anyone who asks their GF permission to see friends though.
Have you seen that email fwd that goes around *as they tend to* with the "Going out with the Boys" application form? http://www.dublinrugby.com/downloads...pplication.doc

One of my dearest mates was this incredibly confident outgoing man, until he met his current GF, who is pretty OK. But she's incredibly clingy - if we go out, she will be ringing him every half an hour to check in, and ask when he is coming home. And he puts up with it. It drives me mental.
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Sticky
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#40
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(Original post by naivesincerity)
How would you define being a pushover? Behavioural example?
A pushover is a guy a girl can do whatever she likes with. She always gets her way with him. Funnily enough that's not actual a positive thing :rolleyes:

For example, a pushover, when out with a girl will spend his time asking the girl what she wants to do, asking every 2 minutes if she's ok, instead of being assertive and taking the initiative.

(Original post by Segat1)
Well, a mummy's boy doesn't necc mean that he's close to his mother - I think it is fair to say that the term has become synonymous with being wet.

As for the rest of your post - meh. I can tell you right now that first impressions count. Polite and respectful is not being a pushover - it's assertive and confident. I'd much prefer someone be straight up with me than do something to impress or capitulate with what I want to do jsut because they fancy me.

Ok fair enough about the mummy boy thing. Well I can tell you that being polite, respectful and knowing how to take yourself not too seriously is actually a trait that people can often perceive as a weakness and that not-so-nice weak people cling onto in order to feel bigger about themselves. Everyone knows the type of friend who can only feel big by making jokes as his friends' expense because he has very little going for him.

shauny and Segat1, we know what you mean by real men, but I find that many girls get it wrong when they're looking for a "real man". Maybe you have better judgement than many other girls, but it takes really good judgement to be able to see if a guy is a real man. We all go around with these facades and "put on a front".

I know a friend who used to go for the obvious players for years, complete knobs who just laughed at her expense, the most disrespectful idiots ever. Of course they were loudmouths. She's now been with this quiet, respectful guy who most guys at uni would think is just an average nice guy, who at first she was not interested in one bit, but he's actually more a real man than any guy she had ever been with. He's just not obnoxious and full of himself. He's a good mate of mine. And to be honest, people like that are much nicer to be around: people who don't have massive issues with their ego and who are just comfortable being who they are, instead of having to be "in your face" all the time. Yet, at first, he might seem a lot less of a bad boy/real man/whatever than all those other guys.
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