Why most women fall love with Bad boys ! Watch

naivesincerity
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#61
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#61
(Original post by Segat1)
Being self assured is incredibly attractive.
Hmm. Mind you if it's overly assured and conceited or presumptuous then it's unbelievably irritating.
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Segat1
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#62
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Cheers. Suncream is your friend. I'm 27 this year :eek:
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Segat1
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#63
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(Original post by naivesincerity)
Hmm. Mind you if it's overly assured and conceited or presumptuous then it's unbelievably irritating.
Agreed.
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DOJO
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#64
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(Original post by Segat1)
Because I don't fancy blokes who are like that. I am attracted to the intellectually stimulating, confident man. Simple as. I am sure that everyone is lovely when they open up but man, I'm nearly 30. I don't have enough time to be asking everyone what his relationship is like with his father. I see lack of confidence as a sign of weakness - sorry, but I do - and I am not attracted to that.

There are plently of girls out there who will want to tease that out of a bloke but frankly, if you haven't examined your life and who you are and got settled with that then, it does show through.

Please note I am not having a go at people with confience issues - I'm just not attracted to them.
Fair enough. But what if you find him physically attractive?

Like he has the look you like, but lacks a bit of confidence?
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Chruchill
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#65
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#65
Ladder Theory is so true. I advise everyone to read it.
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Segat1
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#66
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(Original post by DOJO)
Fair enough. But what if you find him physically attractive?

Like he has the look you like, but lacks a bit of confidence?
OK, so I will be attracted to someone because of how they look. I am a human being. We all do this. If I get over there and introduce myself and he's strong, assertive and not a complete and utter prick then I will talk to him for a bit, and if I enjoy the banter and whatnot then great.

If he's lacking in confidence, etc, then that will make me go "Hang on". I will then talk to him for a bit and if the convo flows then great. But if he stares at his feet for the entire time *happened last night* or can't hold a conversation then my attraction fades.

E.g. my last ex was a complete and utter ten, lovely man, gorgeous, brain, manners etc. But no confidence. I fell in love with him because he was kind and sweet and gentle, but I guessed his lack of confidence was shyness and as we got on so well, figured I'd stick around. After 6 months it got to a point where I wanted out because he had such a chip on his shoulder and a defeatist attitude. And it was SO ingrained in him, I could see me getting more and more frustrated. Now, he hadn't had a fun childhood, which fair dues - I can understand can screw with your head. But he was so unwilling to anything about this, like takling to someone about it that I did my best, but had to walk away because I'd fallen out of love with him because he was, in my eyes, weak. Even now to this day I think god, what a great guy - but I can't go back to him because it drove me up the wall.
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ForeverIsMyName
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#67
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(Original post by Kew)
I don't see the attraction of 'bad boys' either. Why would someone want to go out with someone who treats them badly? It's perfectly possible to be passionate, risk-taking etc. without being a ****, by the way - my boyfriend isn't a 'bad boy' at all, yet isn't boring in the slightest!
It's not "bad boy" in the strict sense of using and abusing girls; try to think of it as contrapositive to the archetypal "nice guy" - In my (Albeit limited) experience in talking to girls on the subject of guys who they like when they first meet, every single one would prefer a guy who is prepared to say things that could construed as an insult in order to attract a girl's attention; a risk-taker who sees himself as the girls equal appears to beat the typical "nice guy" who constantly checks to ensure that he doesn't say anything too... indelicate... as it were.
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Profesh
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#68
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(Original post by ForeverIsMyName)
It's not "bad boy" in the strict sense of using and abusing girls; try to think of it as contrapositive to the archetypal "nice guy" - In my (Albeit limited) experience in talking to girls on the subject of guys who they like when they first meet, every single one would prefer a guy who is prepared to say things that could misconstrued as insults in order to attract a girl's attention; a risk-taker who sees himself as the girls equal appears to beat the typical "nice guy" who constantly checks to ensure that he doesn't say anything too... indelicate... as it were.
What do you mean, "misconstrued"?
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DOJO
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#69
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(Original post by Segat1)
OK, so I will be attracted to someone because of how they look. I am a human being. We all do this. If I get over there and introduce myself and he's strong, assertive and not a complete and utter prick then I will talk to him for a bit, and if I enjoy the banter and whatnot then great.

If he's lacking in confidence, etc, then that will make me go "Hang on". I will then talk to him for a bit and if the convo flows then great. But if he stares at his feet for the entire time *happened last night* or can't hold a conversation then my attraction fades.

E.g. my last ex was a complete and utter ten, lovely man, gorgeous, brain, manners etc. But no confidence. I fell in love with him because he was kind and sweet and gentle, but I guessed his lack of confidence was shyness and as we got on so well, figured I'd stick around. After 6 months it got to a point where I wanted out because he had such a chip on his shoulder and a defeatist attitude. And it was SO ingrained in him, I could see me getting more and more frustrated. Now, he hadn't had a fun childhood, which fair dues - I can understand can screw with your head. But he was so unwilling to anything about this, like takling to someone about it that I did my best, but had to walk away because I'd fallen out of love with him because he was, in my eyes, weak. Even now to this day I think god, what a great guy - but I can't go back to him because it drove me up the wall.
Fair enough. What happened to you last night reminds me of a girl I know, she did exactly the same thing and I ended up doing the same thing as you (because I was with another girl at the time so throught ***** this)...I still like her though (although she happens to be in a relationship now). But yeah, I can understand if you cant have a convo, then it is annoying.

I don't understand why your Ex's confidence was so so so so low, I mean he was in a relationship, and obviously had a lot going for him - why didn't he take the positives out of all of this and develop his character and confidence with it?
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Segat1
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#70
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#70
(Original post by DOJO)
Fair enough. What happened to you last night reminds me of a girl I know, she did exactly the same thing and I ended up doing the same thing as you (because I was with another girl at the time so throught ***** this)...I still like her though (although she happens to be in a relationship now). But yeah, I can understand if you cant have a convo, then it is annoying.

I don't understand why your Ex's confidence was so so so so low, I mean he was in a relationship, and obviously had a lot going for him - why didn't he take the positives out of all of this and develop his character and confidence with it?
You tell me. Gah.
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Guy Secretan
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#71
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(Original post by TopSortedMadForIt)
I think what Shauny said isclose to the truth but still slightly inaccurate. The way I see it is like this: there is basically a pyramid shaped hierarchy of attractiveness(more on the bottom, fewer on the top) of boys/men, and it goes a little something like this:

Real men
Badboys
Nice guys

Nice guys are, well, too nice. On one hand he is Ok with being emotional around women, treats her with respect etc. BUT They get pushed around easily, have little aggression (qhich makes them boring in bed), pander to women, suck up to them etc.

Bad boys are at the other end of the scale. On one hand, they are independant, exciting, challenging, strong, protective, etc. But on the other they are emotinally distant, may cheat, lie and generally treat their women like ****.

The real man has the good elements from both, and the bad from neither. He is indepedent but not distant, strong but not violent. Not to aggressive but not to timid in bed, challenging but doesn't lie or cheat etc. Obviously this guy is hard to find, and obviously he is very desirable to women, and when a woman has found one she will keep a hold of him.

As you can see, badboys are further up the hierarchy than nice guys, and real men are actually pretty rare, so therefore badboys get laid a lot.

All this> IMO.
This is prob the best summary of it

I'm a bad boy 'no Mum I'm not coming in for my ******* tea'
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Profesh
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#72
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#72
(Original post by DOJO)
I don't understand why your Ex's confidence was so so so so low, I mean he was in a relationship, and obviously had a lot going for him - why didn't he take the positives out of all of this and develop his character and confidence with it?
Presumably because some people really do just need multiple sessions with an award-winning therapist.


I 'insult' people whom I like; the idea being that they should insult me back. This has perhaps worked with one person, who is now so deferential to me that they burst into tears whenever I imply (wryly) that they may not be the pinnacle of human self-development. Sigh.
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DOJO
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#73
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(Original post by Profesh)
Presumably because some people really do just need multiple sessions with an award-winning therapist.


I 'insult' people whom I like; the idea being that they should insult me back. This has perhaps worked with one person, who is now so deferential to me that they burst into tears whenever I imply (wryly) that they may not be the pinnacle of human self-development. Sigh.
Who is that? Is is that ross guy?
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ForeverIsMyName
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#74
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#74
(Original post by Profesh)
What do you mean, "misconstrued"?
Oh dear. Editing time.

Just noticed that you have warning points; how did you manage to get those?
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Sticky
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#75
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(Original post by Segat1)
Come on. First impressions do count. If you can't look me in the eye when you shake my hand when we're introduced, then I'm going to assume you have confidence issues. Great. So then, after you have shaken my hand with confidence, and eye contact, I can assume you are either ******* or real man. Further talking and gleaning of info e.g. posture, opinion, delivery, dress sense, body language, and the first few conversations we're having are incredibly useful. They tell me if you are a knob or a "could consider getting to know better kinda person". I've got pretty practiced at it over the years and I really am a big believer in the first impressions count.

I have no doubt that yes, I have probably passed up some genuinely good blokes in the past because they just don't present well. I really just can't fancy someone who, from body language and actions, lacks confidence. However as mucha s these guy would have been great, it's confidence that gets my juices running.
I really don't think that just the first contact can reveal to you if he's a real man. Sure, it can allow you to "eliminate" a few by assuming that the reason why a guy might seem a bit aloof: i.e. it must be a lack of confidence and not because he lost a member of his family, had a bad day at work... (and even then, you might pass on a few real men but the probabilities are on your side) but you can't make an evaluation of a guy as a real man or not, just on the first contact i.e. decide that this guy is more a real man than this other guy. It's too little to be able to make a proper judgement.

By doing that, you're making almost a whole judgement that is very flimsy, based on only a few very superficial, too obvious (and not concrete) criteria.

A guy might seem amazingly confident and a bit of a loudmouth but it can be for hundreds of reasons, and actual confidence probably isn't even the main one. He might have some hidden issue, some weird inferority complex that will appear when you actually start your relationship and then you find out it's all just a front.

Many girls do that and make loads of mistakes when choosing guys. Fortunately, with age, a lot learn to be better judges of character, sometimes what they're actually attracted to changes, but they also look for totally different things in guys: for example some girls will look for confidence and status in a guy's job. If he's some successful sales guy, so what if he doesn't have as much a loudmouth? there must be something about him, some hidden confidence and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Unfortunately, a few, don't learn either because of a sense of pride (i.e. I always go for bad boys and I'm not going to change and I don't want to be proven wrong), or simply because they're terrible judges of character. That's why you get these women in their late 30s or early 40s like in Sex and the City who think they've been "unlucky" with men and end up celibate.
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foxo
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#76
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#76
(Original post by su9799)
I am not understand , Why most women fall love with Bad boys !
i think it's because there are not you, it's more exciting, somehow. Afterall opposites attract!

Tell me more please .
With regards to the topic, I don't particularly give a ****; but I have to say, I really love your signature.
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Yellowmarshmellow
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#77
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#77
I don't fall for bad boys.. more guys who treat people crappy because for some reason it makes me like them more and think that they'll change and be nice to me? i make no sense but from past experiences my bfs haven't exactly been the nicest guys in the world.
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Segat1
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#78
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(Original post by Sticky)
I really don't think that just the first contact can reveal to you if he's a real man. Sure, it can allow you to "eliminate" a few by assuming that the reason why a guy might seem a bit aloof: i.e. it must be a lack of confidence and not because he lost a member of his family, had a bad day at work... (and even then, you might pass on a few real men but the probabilities are on your side) but you can't make an evaluation of a guy as a real man or not, just on the first contact i.e. decide that this guy is more a real man than this other guy. It's too little to be able to make a proper judgement.

By doing that, you're making almost a whole judgement that is very flimsy, based on only a few very superficial, too obvious (and not concrete) criteria.

A guy might seem amazingly confident and a bit of a loudmouth but it can be for hundreds of reasons, and actual confidence probably isn't even the main one. He might have some hidden issue, some weird inferority complex that will appear when you actually start your relationship and then you find out it's all just a front.

Many girls do that and make loads of mistakes when choosing guys. Fortunately, with age, a lot learn to be better judges of character, sometimes what they're actually attracted to changes, but they also look for totally different things in guys: for example some girls will look for confidence and status in a guy's job. If he's some successful sales guy, so what if he doesn't have as much a loudmouth? there must be something about him, some hidden confidence and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Unfortunately, a few, don't learn either because of a sense of pride (i.e. I always go for bad boys and I'm not going to change and I don't want to be proven wrong), or simply because they're terrible judges of character. That's why you get these women in their late 30s or early 40s like in Sex and the City who think they've been "unlucky" with men and end up celibate.
I don't think there is anything wrong with having a reaction based on first impressions. Nor do I think there's anything wrong with cutting out some I'm not attracted to.
But equally, I'm not about to advocate thrashing a dead horse because some guy has a lack of confidence. Low confidence to me is a deal breaker and I know that now from past relationships and gut feelings.

If I want to make a good impression on someone, then I put some effort in, and I expect others to do the same. It's a common courtesy to shake someone's hand, look them in the eye and engage in talk with them. If they're intruiging then wahey! If they're not forthcoming, then what on earth am I supposed to do? If he can't make a bloody effort then he's not the kind of man I want to be with. If he's shy then so be it. I don't really want to be with a shy guy. Regardless of what's happened that day, you put in some effort. It's courteous. And if you're not going to start as you mean to go on, then really I don't want to spending time living in the hiope that - one day - he will get confident and be wonderful.

So, I think we'll have to agree to disagree there.
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glitterati
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#79
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I think 'bad boys' are an enormous turn off. It's just sad, really, the whole badass thing.
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Firearm
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#80
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(Original post by ForeverIsMyName)
It's not "bad boy" in the strict sense of using and abusing girls; try to think of it as contrapositive to the archetypal "nice guy" - In my (Albeit limited) experience in talking to girls on the subject of guys who they like when they first meet, every single one would prefer a guy who is prepared to say things that could construed as an insult in order to attract a girl's attention; a risk-taker who sees himself as the girls equal appears to beat the typical "nice guy" who constantly checks to ensure that he doesn't say anything too... indelicate... as it were.
Spot on, really.

An emotionally indept guy is really only attractive to other, emotionally indept girls. The 'hot-girls' have confidence .. they know what they are..they know what they want (most of them anyway).

By playing the nice guy act and massaging their ego, and especially seeking their approval for everything isn't going to get you anywhere.
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