The Student Room Group

Feeling messed up

I had a relationship for two years with this girl who was absolutely stunning and i adored her. showered her with gifts and she reciprocated and i had an amazing time back then. i found out on holiday with her that she'd been cheating on me, and that it was quite regularly. was devastated and things fell apart about a year ago, partly because of the cheating but also going our separate ways etc etc. i can't get over her.

Since then no-one's lived up to her standard and i can't begin to care for anyone like i did her. had two brief girlfriends since but neither compare and i still don't feel ready to move on but am desperate to try and get over her. met another girl earlier in the week, similar to the original girlfriend, and got on well with her (going out etc for a bit). then i found out she was two-timing me and wanted to go out with this chavvy guy instead so that's set me back further.

Lastly decided to meet with the ex (first one) on friday to sort out any difficulties/existing feelings and she looked phenomenal and didn't feel much guilt about our past, whereas i struggled not to be intimate with her once again. what's shameful is that she doesn't want a relationship and wouldn't want to get back with me even though i should be calling the shots over whether i can trust her etc. my mind is screwed up right now and i keep feeling like i need another girlfriend asap who fits the criteria of the first without the desire for cheating.

My immediate plan is to drink for a few days to clear (actually to cloud) my head