Hi Guys,
I'm at a stage at the moment where everything just seems to be going wrong for me. Things that were set in stone before, have just disappeared. I'll set the scene, i've just come back from a year abroad and whilst i was there, i split up with my gf of 2 years. however i found out she'd been playing away with her male best friend the whole time.
I'm not close to my parents at all, they've kicked me out of my house when i was younger, due to my mother and her issues. my father actually admitted it wasnt my fault at all, and many of my friends parents over the years have commented that she is harsh on me and have taken me in over the years. i spent the past 2 christmases on my own,because i couldnt stand to be near here. unfortunately until i go back to uni in october, i have to stay at home. i have a job and spend a lotof the time in the gym ( ive started boxing) and my mother still makes comments about my weight (im not fat at all, but she is) and has a go at everything.
For years and years, ive talked about being in a band with my best friend. he plays drums and i play bass, andi chose my uni and year abroad so i could be close to where we live to practice. however since the start of the year ive hardly seen or heard from him, as he's gotten in with this girl. this girl, who cheated on her bf to be with him, and slept with both me and another good mate (neither of us knew) on the night before they got together. shes a whore, and a manipulator at that. suffice to say, we havent jammed or written together since theyve been together, and everytime ive seen him she's either there, or he's texting her literally every 2 minutes. ive talked to him about it a million times, and he seems to take it in but nothing has changed.I'm so disillusioned by it all, im thinking of quitting manchester and moving to london when i finish to uni to fulfill my dreams. or start up another new band here in manchester and prove him wrong.i love manchester, i love the city, its my home and my football team (mcfc) is here. every waking moment i think about being in a band, its my life and i want it to be, and we both used to talk about it and play gigs.....suddenly he's all about this girl and i feel mugged off. feel like im going through a breakup because of this, we were more than best friends -more like brothers! it was always about us two, and we've both had relationships in the past and its never been a problem. but suddenly he doesnt seem interested in me, and if i hear from him it has to be me doing the texting.
its making me question my future, not only being in a band but just the future. the idea of doing stuff without the pair of us having a whale of a time seems scary and just not accurate. we've both got friends outside each other, but it was always us to, people called us the 'terror twins' because of the fun we had. im so angry all the time, bitter and jaded. sometimes i feel like hitting something, or crying. everyday im in a bad mood and/or angry, and i cant seem to stop it. im hurting really bad, not justbecause of him, but because the future feels unclear. it just seems like everything is going wrong, i came off my mountain bike recently as the brake chord snapped, and i recently had my wallet stolen...........im not a negative person but i just seem to be hitting bad luck after bad luck. is this a state of transition? im hoping that i can form a new band that will make it where i want to go, i will be fit and healthy, maybe meet a decent girl...... but at the moment i have noone that i am close to, feel very lonely and not at all looking forward to my final year at uni and beyond. please help!