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Best friend got girlfriend, we started ditching him on nights out? Watch

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    My best friend and another guy and me used to go out a lot together and were really tight. We all used to have a similar lifestyle too, go out to parties, get with girls etc go on holiday. However, my best friend recently got a girlfriend who he clearly likes and started spending tons of time with her as well as just talking non stop to us about her. We were super pumped for him even though we ourselves preferred being single and thus being more free with what we could do with different girls.

    Anyway, this started making him half ditch us for his girlfriend on nights out. So we, understandably i think, were slightly miffed but still understanding. So we started bringing bringing other friends out instead to go out drinking/partying etc and its been really fun switching it up.

    The problem is though that now he seems to feel like we are ditching him. I post a lot on social media so he said to me that he was feeling really down when he saw us out without him and that we didn't seem to even miss that he wasn't there. He also complained to me that i was doing with other people what i had traditionally saved to do with him such as going skiing each year (brought the other friends this year).

    Any way, any opinions and advice on what i should do?

    Summary if you don't want to read: Best friend got girlfriend, we started not bringing him as he was busy, he is now sad and angry, thinks we ditched him.
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    He should of made it clear that he still has times for this mates despite having a girlfriend.
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    It often happens. I would tell him everything that you just told us. Maybe it's a misunderstanding. Well he'll be less available but if he's still willing to go out with you and is 'still in the game' (meaning he hasn't changed too much) then why not?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My best friend and another guy and me used to go out a lot together and were really tight. We all used to have a similar lifestyle too, go out to parties, get with girls etc go on holiday. However, my best friend recently got a girlfriend who he clearly likes and started spending tons of time with her as well as just talking non stop to us about her. We were super pumped for him even though we ourselves preferred being single and thus being more free with what we could do with different girls.

    Anyway, this started making him half ditch us for his girlfriend on nights out. So we, understandably i think, were slightly miffed but still understanding. So we started bringing bringing other friends out instead to go out drinking/partying etc and its been really fun switching it up.

    The problem is though that now he seems to feel like we are ditching him. I post a lot on social media so he said to me that he was feeling really down when he saw us out without him and that we didn't seem to even miss that he wasn't there. He also complained to me that i was doing with other people what i had traditionally saved to do with him such as going skiing each year (brought the other friends this year).

    Any way, any opinions and advice on what i should do?

    Summary if you don't want to read: Best friend got girlfriend, we started not bringing him as he was busy, he is now sad and angry, thinks we ditched him.

    It's his own fault for not spending time with you and all the other friends so he has no right to be angry. He's just jealous he can't go out as often and have fun because he is literally tied down now
    But I will never understand why people think that once they are in a relationship that they think it's ok to dump their mates and think they have to spend every minute with their partners and stop going out and having fun with their mates, they can actually do both.
    I'm not a clingy, needy person so i would never allow anyone to just spend all their time with me, i would want them to still go out and have fun with their own friends and still go on nights out, even holidays without me.
    If i had any good friends I would never ditch them just because i met someone especially if they were single and had no one else to go places with but sadly that's what most people do.
    You should tell him straight that he is the one that stopped going out when he met his girlfriend.
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    I think communication here is key. Always always offer to bring him, invite him out etc. Let him make that decision if he wants to come or not. Just because he has a girlfriend, don't assume he doesn't wanna hang out with you guys (no matter how much he turns down the invites ), the fact is , that you did your bit and invited him.

    Also , you don't know how his relationship is. He might have a rather jealous girlfriend etc who wants him to be with her all the time... so just take it a little easy on him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My best friend and another guy and me used to go out a lot together and were really tight. We all used to have a similar lifestyle too, go out to parties, get with girls etc go on holiday. However, my best friend recently got a girlfriend who he clearly likes and started spending tons of time with her as well as just talking non stop to us about her. We were super pumped for him even though we ourselves preferred being single and thus being more free with what we could do with different girls.

    Anyway, this started making him half ditch us for his girlfriend on nights out. So we, understandably i think, were slightly miffed but still understanding. So we started bringing bringing other friends out instead to go out drinking/partying etc and its been really fun switching it up.

    The problem is though that now he seems to feel like we are ditching him. I post a lot on social media so he said to me that he was feeling really down when he saw us out without him and that we didn't seem to even miss that he wasn't there. He also complained to me that i was doing with other people what i had traditionally saved to do with him such as going skiing each year (brought the other friends this year).

    Any way, any opinions and advice on what i should do?

    Summary if you don't want to read: Best friend got girlfriend, we started not bringing him as he was busy, he is now sad and angry, thinks we ditched him.

    If he ditches you guys, then he cant expect for you to drop everything when he decides he is available. Its very common someone in a relationship will disappear.

    If you wnat to keep him then dcide on what terms. He cnat expect for you to put yourself on hold. Tell him and work out a compromise.
 
 
 
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