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    I hate having to ask for advice online, but I literally have no one to talk to IRL. TSR seems like a great community (the majority of it) and I'd appreciate it if you actually read and replied, thanks!
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    University is just over 2 weeks away, yet I'm not sure why I have left this til last minute. In the past 2 years after I have finished school, I have lost contact with most, if not all of my friends from school, and isolated myself into some form of social anxiety. From these events, it has caused me to have yet experienced any clubs or big parties. From this, I very rarely go out unless I need to, going anywhere makes me feel anxious. At the same time, I want to get out of this situation as I feel I am completely trapped. I'm going to university to escape from this, and achieve a degree in a new subject.

    During my time at school, I was pressured into acquiring an unwanted obsession with buying only semi-expensive items of clothing with name brands which aren't cheap. In which, I blame society. Coming from a poor-ish background, along with having no reason to purchase clothes such as: shirts, jeans, etc. I go out in selective clothing such as Adidas & Nike items, and spend the majority of the time at home in joggers & t-shirts. I'm in need of advice on which clothing I should buy for University & some other questions (I'm going to be living in halls)
    Questions (maybe slightly unrelated, but I have other concerns)
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    1. a) What type of clothes do you wear at home/in halls?
    b) Which brand are they (generally)?
    2. Which shirts do you wear for going clubbing? What brand are they?
    3. Are there any brands of jeans which are considered "cheap" or just generally unwanted?
    4. In halls, after unpacking, what's the general approach to meeting your flatmates & going out for drinks/events?
    5. There's going to be 10-12 flatmates living with me, do you keep your plates, pots & pans, cutlery etc. in your room, or in the kitchen.
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    you do not need to worry about clothing at University. just be yourself.
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    Listen to this song


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    Pretty much no one is going to care about your style of clothing.
    And regarding your social anxiety - is it so severe that you actively avoid social situations? If so, you should only take things one step at a time. The first friend you make, you should be able to open up about it so that you can learn how to be more comfortable with social situations.
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    (Original post by the bear)
    you do not need to worry about clothing at University. just be yourself.
    I wish i could think of it like that, but I'm afraid my mind has other plans, and Im worrying about it even though, i know its stupid.

    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    Pretty much no one is going to care about your style of clothing.
    And regarding your social anxiety - is it so severe that you actively avoid social situations? If so, you should only take things one step at a time. The first friend you make, you should be able to open up about it so that you can learn how to be more comfortable with social situations.
    Thanks for the help, i appreciate it. i know it'll be difficult but the thing is, i enjoy being social, but it's down to lack of opportunity which has put me into this situation.
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    you could go around college wearing a binliner and shoes made of washing-up liquid bottles and nobody would mind.
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    (Original post by Justanaccount)
    I hate having to ask for advice online, but I literally have no one to talk to IRL. TSR seems like a great community (the majority of it) and I'd appreciate it if you actually read and replied, thanks!
    Back Story
    Spoiler:
    Show
    University is just over 2 weeks away, yet I'm not sure why I have left this til last minute. In the past 2 years after I have finished school, I have lost contact with most, if not all of my friends from school, and isolated myself into some form of social anxiety. From these events, it has caused me to have yet experienced any clubs or big parties. From this, I very rarely go out unless I need to, going anywhere makes me feel anxious. At the same time, I want to get out of this situation as I feel I am completely trapped. I'm going to university to escape from this, and achieve a degree in a new subject.

    During my time at school, I was pressured into acquiring an unwanted obsession with buying only semi-expensive items of clothing with name brands which aren't cheap. In which, I blame society. Coming from a poor-ish background, along with having no reason to purchase clothes such as: shirts, jeans, etc. I go out in selective clothing such as Adidas & Nike items, and spend the majority of the time at home in joggers & t-shirts. I'm in need of advice on which clothing I should buy for University & some other questions (I'm going to be living in halls)
    Questions (maybe slightly unrelated, but I have other concerns)
    Spoiler:
    Show
    1. a) What type of clothes do you wear at home/in halls?
    b) Which brand are they (generally)?
    2. Which shirts do you wear for going clubbing? What brand are they?
    3. Are there any brands of jeans which are considered "cheap" or just generally unwanted?
    4. In halls, after unpacking, what's the general approach to meeting your flatmates & going out for drinks/events?
    5. There's going to be 10-12 flatmates living with me, do you keep your plates, pots & pans, cutlery etc. in your room, or in the kitchen.
    Hello ,

    Well, first of all, it seems you have a stigma towards university. That being the thought that university is the same as the rest of the education you have been in and that isn't the case. University (on the most part) is full of mature people who have more dignity, decency and respect than to judge other people on what they wear and you'll discover this when you get there.

    As for your questions;
    1 A/B: I'm not going to answer this question as it isn't one that needs to be answered. No one cares what you wear, no one will judge you for what you wear. Be your own person. Wear what you want and be comfortable.
    2/3: Again, I'm not going to answer these. Wear what you want out. Everybody has their own style when going out - be it dresses, jeans and a shirt, jeans a t-shirt etc etc. It doesn't matter, you'll pick it up but they aren't questions you need to worry about. No one is searching for the price tag of your clothes because no one cares - they are bigger things to worry about at university.
    4: After moving in; keep your door open and as people walk down the corridor they will pop their head in and say hi and you can do the same - you'll just start talking to each other and spending your first evenings together and this will lead to everybody going out together - be open and enjoy the experience.
    5: Generally you keep your pots in the kitchen - I have known some people to keep them in their rooms because they don't want people using/stealing their stuff but the majority of students keep their stuff in the kitchen.

    Best of luck!
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    Ugh... did I really sound that pitiful 7 years ago? I've got anxiety too. I'll try and address each of the concerns you've raised.

    (Original post by Justanaccount)
    I hate having to ask for advice online, but I literally have no one to talk to IRL. TSR seems like a great community (the majority of it) and I'd appreciate it if you actually read and replied, thanks!
    Back Story

    University is just over 2 weeks away, yet I'm not sure why I have left this til last minute. In the past 2 years after I have finished school, I have lost contact with most, if not all of my friends from school, and isolated myself into some form of social anxiety.
    Why is there a 2 year gap between finishing school and starting university? What have you been up to?

    How did you lose contact with your friends and did you really consider them true friends?

    From these events, it has caused me to have yet experienced any clubs or big parties.
    It's actually the first time for many new students at university. I certainly had no experience back then so I just went along with it. Alcohol acts as an anxiolytic too - so be aware not to become dependant.

    From this, I very rarely go out unless I need to, going anywhere makes me feel anxious. At the same time, I want to get out of this situation as I feel I am completely trapped. I'm going to university to escape from this, and achieve a degree in a new subject.
    You'll have to go out eventually... out of necessity if nothing else. In order to overcome your anxieties, you will need to confront them directly by going out repeatedly - both with groups of people, a friend, by yourself etc. it gradually gets better and by the time the first year is over you'll be fine about it.

    During my time at school, I was pressured into acquiring an unwanted obsession with buying only semi-expensive items of clothing with name brands which aren't cheap. In which, I blame society. Coming from a poor-ish background, along with having no reason to purchase clothes such as: shirts, jeans, etc. I go out in selective clothing such as Adidas & Nike items, and spend the majority of the time at home in joggers & t-shirts.
    Shirts and jeans are nice for wearing casually and going out. Besides you only need like 3 different good quality jeans and probably 5 shirts to last you for a long time (laundry each weekend, or other weekend if you have more clothes). Sports clothing just looks tacky and is best left for the gym, running or other fitness related activities.

    Anyway, you will definitely learn the hard way that university life demands you learn how to budget - and fast. You will need to control your finances.

    Do you judge other people based on their clothing?

    I'm in need of advice on which clothing I should buy for University & some other questions (I'm going to be living in halls)
    Questions (maybe slightly unrelated, but I have other concerns)

    1. a) What type of clothes do you wear at home/in halls?
    Everyone wears whatever they want at uni. No one cares. I wore plain clothing myself - no names - brand problem solved.

    b) Which brand are they (generally)?
    No one is gonna ask what brand your clothes are nor will they care enough to. Are you seriously suggesting that people are gonna suddenly grab your jeans or something and inspect the label?!

    2. Which shirts do you wear for going clubbing? What brand are they?
    No one cares what shirt you wear. Everyone is gonna end up getting drunk and you'll probably ruin your shirt anyway. Do you honestly believe that someone is gonna yank your collar to check the label? Just wear plain shirts if you're really that bothered about it - they look better anyway.

    Note: you may end up spending for more on going out than clothes anyway. You should be more worried about the cost of alcohol! Now that is definitely something you don't want to mess with in terms of quality.

    3. Are there any brands of jeans which are considered "cheap" or just generally unwanted?
    No one can tell what brand of jeans you're wearing unless you make it ridiculously obvious. No one cares either. Just make sure they fit you and you're comfortable in them - it's how comfortable you feel in your own clothing ultimately, that matters end of the day.

    4. In halls, after unpacking, what's the general approach to meeting your flatmates & going out for drinks/events?
    You'll probably all introduce yourselves the very same night you move in, unpack a bit, have some pre-drinks and go out shortly afterwards. Whenever you wanna go out then just go, or ask if anyone else is going out tonight. It's not complicated - bit difficult to put in words as well, but you'll realise what to do.

    5. There's going to be 10-12 flatmates living with me, do you keep your plates, pots & pans, cutlery etc. in your room, or in the kitchen.
    It's entirely up to you. Feel free to keep them in the kitchen, but be aware that they will probably get shared (unless the others brought their own too). I'd suggest keeping them in your room or half/half until you get to know your flatmates' kitchen habits a bit better. There's always that one person who steals or never washes up.

    Finally, make sure you register with the university's medical centre and see a GP about your anxieties if it gets worse in the first couple of months.
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    (Original post by JustGeorgeJ)
    Hello ,

    Well, first of all, it seems you have a stigma towards university. That being the thought that university is the same as the rest of the education you have been in and that isn't the case. University (on the most part) is full of mature people who have more dignity, decency and respect than to judge other people on what they wear and you'll discover this when you get there.

    As for your questions;
    1 A/B: I'm not going to answer this question as it isn't one that needs to be answered. No one cares what you wear, no one will judge you for what you wear. Be your own person. Wear what you want and be comfortable.
    2/3: Again, I'm not going to answer these. Wear what you want out. Everybody has their own style when going out - be it dresses, jeans and a shirt, jeans a t-shirt etc etc. It doesn't matter, you'll pick it up but they aren't questions you need to worry about. No one is searching for the price tag of your clothes because no one cares - they are bigger things to worry about at university.
    4: After moving in; keep your door open and as people walk down the corridor they will pop their head in and say hi and you can do the same - you'll just start talking to each other and spending your first evenings together and this will lead to everybody going out together - be open and enjoy the experience.
    5: Generally you keep your pots in the kitchen - I have known some people to keep them in their rooms because they don't want people using/stealing their stuff but the majority of students keep their stuff in the kitchen.

    Best of luck!
    Thank you for reassuring me, honestly! When it gets this close to an event/time, my mind is flooding with pointless queries and gets me overly nervous. So it helps ALOT
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    (Original post by Justanaccount)
    Thank you for reassuring me, honestly! When it gets this close to an event/time, my mind is flooding with pointless queries and gets me overly nervous. So it helps ALOT
    It's fine, no problem at all - it's what I'm here for. I just don't like seeing upcoming students worry and panic about things they don't need too as it can ruin the experience of starting university.
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    Ugh... did I really sound that pitiful 7 years ago? I've got anxiety too. I'll try and address each of the concerns you've raised.



    Why is there a 2 year gap between finishing school and starting university? What have you been up to?

    How did you lose contact with your friends and did you really consider them true friends?



    It's actually the first time for many new students at university. I certainly had no experience back then so I just went along with it. Alcohol acts as an anxiolytic too - so be aware not to become dependant.



    You'll have to go out eventually... out of necessity if nothing else. In order to overcome your anxieties, you will need to confront them directly by going out repeatedly - both with groups of people, a friend, by yourself etc. it gradually gets better and by the time the first year is over you'll be fine about it.



    Shirts and jeans are nice for wearing casually and going out. Besides you only need like 3 different good quality jeans and probably 5 shirts to last you for a long time (laundry each weekend, or other weekend if you have more clothes). Sports clothing just looks tacky and is best left for the gym, running or other fitness related activities.

    Anyway, you will definitely learn the hard way that university life demands you learn how to budget - and fast. You will need to control your finances.

    Do you judge other people based on their clothing?



    Everyone wears whatever they want at uni. No one cares. I wore plain clothing myself - no names - brand problem solved.



    No one is gonna ask what brand your clothes are nor will they care enough to. Are you seriously suggesting that people are gonna suddenly grab your jeans or something and inspect the label?!



    No one cares what shirt you wear. Everyone is gonna end up getting drunk and you'll probably ruin your shirt anyway. Do you honestly believe that someone is gonna yank your collar to check the label? Just wear plain shirts if you're really that bothered about it - they look better anyway.

    Note: you may end up spending for more on going out than clothes anyway. You should be more worried about the cost of alcohol! Now that is definitely something you don't want to mess with in terms of quality.



    No one can tell what brand of jeans you're wearing unless you make it ridiculously obvious. No one cares either. Just make sure they fit you and you're comfortable in them - it's how comfortable you feel in your own clothing ultimately, that matters end of the day.



    You'll probably all introduce yourselves the very same night you move in, unpack a bit, have some pre-drinks and go out shortly afterwards. Whenever you wanna go out then just go, or ask if anyone else is going out tonight. It's not complicated - bit difficult to put in words as well, but you'll realise what to do.



    It's entirely up to you. Feel free to keep them in the kitchen, but be aware that they will probably get shared (unless the others brought their own too). I'd suggest keeping them in your room or half/half until you get to know your flatmates' kitchen habits a bit better. There's always that one person who steals or never washes up.

    Finally, make sure you register with the university's medical centre and see a GP about your anxieties if it gets worse in the first couple of months.
    That's one thing im worried about, whether I'll be able to cope 🤔 but surely I can't stay in the same environment as I am in now, as it's just depressing.
    I'm desperate for a change in environment, which is why I'm excited yet nervous to go to university.
    The two year gap was filled with college, but I didn't really enjoy it, and had no common interests with people on my course, so I just stuck it out to get the qualification.

    The mindset which I have gathered from school is that the brand of the clothing is more important than the actual item itself . I wasn't sure if it's like that everywhere or just in my school. I'm trying to overcome that issue, but I'm having difficulty purchasing clothing that isn't name brand
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    1a) Most people wear some combination of a t shirt and jeans or chinos, you might see polo shirts, button downs or joggers every now and again then in the winter months hoodies, sweatshirts and the occasional letterman jacket.
    1b) no one cares
    2) Just pick a button down and you're good, no one cares about brands, just buy what you want
    3) People care even less about jeans
    4) Knock on doors, ideally with a case of beer/cider to share, drink in your flat for a bit then head out for food/drink/shops, etc.
    5) It varies but I'd say people with big rooms tend to keep their stuff in their room and those with smaller rooms keep stuff in the kitchen.
    • TSR Support Team
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    (Original post by Justanaccount)
    That's one thing im worried about, whether I'll be able to cope 🤔 but surely I can't stay in the same environment as I am in now, as it's just depressing.
    I'm desperate for a change in environment, which is why I'm excited yet nervous to go to university.
    The two year gap was filled with college, but I didn't really enjoy it, and had no common interests with people on my course, so I just stuck it out to get the qualification.

    The mindset which I have gathered from school is that the brand of the clothing is more important than the actual item itself . I wasn't sure if it's like that everywhere or just in my school. I'm trying to overcome that issue, but I'm having difficulty purchasing clothing that isn't name brand
    University is not the same as school or college. There's no judgement on what one wears and many people will be wearing all sorts of different types of clothing - some even downright bizarre. There will also be quite a few international students, mature students etc. to add further to the variation.

    If you're really that concerned, just start by getting plain clothes where there is no writing or obvious giveaway to the brand but good quality material - is Burton/River Island/Next good enough for you?

    Just go to uni and learn the hard way. You prob ignored most of what I said or misinterpreted. Best way is the hard way - and eventually you will learn not to give a ****.
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    University is not the same as school or college. There's no judgement on what one wears and many people will be wearing all sorts of different types of clothing - some even downright bizarre. There will also be quite a few international students, mature students etc. to add further to the variation.

    If you're really that concerned, just start by getting plain clothes where there is no writing or obvious giveaway to the brand but good quality material - is Burton/River Island/Next good enough for you?

    Just go to uni and learn the hard way. You prob ignored most of what I said or misinterpreted. Best way is the hard way - and eventually you will learn not to give a ****.
    Yeah, i heard university is about "finding your way" which I'm looking forward to, but I seem to be dreading the introduction & fresher's week, mainly. Yeah, i agree I should just go for plain clothes, thanks for the advice!
 
 
 
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