I have the blues

so, its the summer holiday. i'm 16 and off to college. yet, i feel crap.
theres trouble at home and my social life is taking a big plunge.

while my friends have been out drinking and partying i haven't been invited :frown:

they're meeting a whole lot more ppl and i'm stuck at home all day since a lot of my friends in the street are on holiday. this makes me feel bad as to how lonely i actually am...any solutions? its awfully awkward asking my 'm8s' to go out too because they all seem to want to be the number one 'popular person' but there is a party next week...what should i do?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

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Reply 2

Rutter knows best!

i would say be assertive with ya friends cos they mite not know how you feel and maybe touch on the whole "poluler one"thing.
some mite feel they're in the same boat as you.
ya never know.
if this is just a short term problem than just try not to dwell on it. you meet loads of new people at college anyway , there's no escaping it.
so so what if they started a little earliar than you in mixing with new crowds.
jus try to influence what you can and don't worry about the rest as its out of your hands really.

but at the same time if you want to confront your mates about it.
jus prepare yourself for the positive or negative outcomes i.e be prepared to hear something you don't want to hear.

Reply 3

small&mighty

I was exactly like this last year, except I was going back to my school in September for 6th form. The only thing I can suggest you do is talk to them about it, they may not know how you feel and not realise what they're doing. Something I can suggest though is voluntary work. If when you finish college you want to go to Uni, voluntary work looks good, and in some cases is preferred. I want to do teaching when I go to uni and so Ive been helping out at a primary school. Its given me more confidence and experience that has definitely made me sure that is what I wanna do. The best way to do this would be to go to your careers place in school (if you have one which Im assuming you do) coz they'll be able to help you lots.
And remember, when you start college you'll make tons of new friends, so focus on that for now. I remember this time last year the people I considered my closest friends aren't anymore, Ive drifted from them and into a new group of friends, even though I stayed at the same school.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

why dont ya try to contact them! 'to see' , if they will let you can tag along with them!

Reply 5

Vesta

Get a job

That'll keep you busy, plus more money, plus work expo.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

yer i have got a lot of m8s in my street but not that many in college yet although i have made a couple of VERY GOOD genuine people who have become my friends.
i guess its just them 3. they don't attempt to hang out with anyone else concerning our old group of m8s who have all split off into different directions. time to move on i say and meet loads of new ppl. anyways i'm sick of always being the person that they bitch to about each other lol. any advice?

Reply 7

angus_mcfisher

To be honest, you're probably in a better position that they are - you have 3 people who you believe are genuine friends - I very much doubt that they have 3 genuine friends. What you should do is socialise more with your 3 genuine friends and get to know their circle. You need to ensure you get into the right circle, and to be honest it sounds like the 'mates' you have the issue with aren't exactly your type.

In all serious, you need to open yourself up. Go out on a night out with a friend and notice your limitations (for example; if there's a girl you like the look of, why won't you talk to her). Then break your self-imposed limitations and open yourself up to other people. This will put you in good stead for when you are going to a new college.

Another important thing is to be smiley, even if you don't feel like it, it has an unprecedented influence over people's first impressions - and first impressions are the ones which stick.

If I were you, my plan of attack for the Summer would be to try and meet as many new people as possible - preferably people you will never meet again so that you may learn from you're mistakes with approaching people. Then when you get to college I would hope to have gained more confidence in my social skills and should feel able to make new friends easily.

Hope this helps and that I haven't went off on one! (It is a bit late...) :biggrin: