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    #1

    Hi,

    Things haven't been great for about 6 months and I have self harmed. I'm going into my first year of sixth form soon, do you think I should hide my scars?
    • #2
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    Hi, I probably started to self harm almost the exact stage you are at right now. I was also going into sixth form. I can't tell you what to do cause it's about what you feel comfortable with. I myself did hide them, because I was embarrassed and ashamed, but by that point I hadn't actually stopped. Once I stopped in year 13 after my parents found out- I got better at just accepting that they aren't going to go away completely and that actually there are a lot more people that deal with it than you'd think. One day I was exposed (admittedly I didn't even realise my sleeves were up) and the girl sitting next to me in class who I'd never spoken to before was actually dealing with the same thing. We became friends after that and were able to talk to eachother about our sadness. If she hadn't have seen, I might not have had a friend to talk to.

    So I can see both sides. Don't get into the habit of hiding them because you'll always feel like you have to, and it can make your self-esteem very low, like mine was/is. I've been clean 3 years almost but I still bear the scars and still hide them. I don't want you to be like that so do whatever you feel comfortable in. The summer is not a fun time to be wearing jackets and long sleeves I admit, so keep that in mind!

    I hope you have stopped or are seeking help, and hope you begin to feel happier. Good luck in 6th form- the beginning of the rest of your life! x
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, I probably started to self harm almost the exact stage you are at right now. I was also going into sixth form. I can't tell you what to do cause it's about what you feel comfortable with. I myself did hide them, because I was embarrassed and ashamed, but by that point I hadn't actually stopped. Once I stopped in year 13 after my parents found out- I got better at just accepting that they aren't going to go away completely and that actually there are a lot more people that deal with it than you'd think. One day I was exposed (admittedly I didn't even realise my sleeves were up) and the girl sitting next to me in class who I'd never spoken to before was actually dealing with the same thing. We became friends after that and were able to talk to eachother about our sadness. If she hadn't have seen, I might not have had a friend to talk to.

    So I can see both sides. Don't get into the habit of hiding them because you'll always feel like you have to, and it can make your self-esteem very low, like mine was/is. I've been clean 3 years almost but I still bear the scars and still hide them. I don't want you to be like that so do whatever you feel comfortable in. The summer is not a fun time to be wearing jackets and long sleeves I admit, so keep that in mind!

    I hope you have stopped or are seeking help, and hope you begin to feel happier. Good luck in 6th form- the beginning of the rest of your life! x
    Thank you for the advice. I haven't stopped yet but I haven't got any help either.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    Things haven't been great for about 6 months and I have self harmed. I'm going into my first year of sixth form soon, do you think I should hide my scars?
    Hey there. Sorry to hear you're feeling rough at the moment. Before I get to your actual question i'd like to suggest you open up to somebody. There are loads of options for who to talk to and you can talk to whoever you feel most comfortable with and tell them as much or as little as you want. Ultimate goal would be to see a doctor or therapist but it can be good for some people to open up to friends, family, strangers on an online forum, charaties like samaritans or teachers first.
    You do not deserve to feel like this and it can and will get better. You just need to take the first few steps and then you won't have to do it alone. It's a difficult thing to do, but it really helps- trust me. I felt terrible for about two years before talking to my doctor. It took balls to do and I had to push a little to be taken seriously, but soon enough things were looking up and I wasn't alone anymore. Just seeing the doctor and getting that validation made things seem more managable.
    Also if you are ever struggling with thoughts or suicide please know you can call Samaritans or 111. You never need to be alone through this.

    Anyway, as for the scars. It depends on if you are ready to show them. It would be great if you were at the point you could show them and not feel self concious, but that just may not be the case yet. If you feel like you need to hide them then you can. If they are on your wrist you could wear a ribbon or armband or watch to cover it. Leggs and arms can be covered by clothes easily. Be sure to care for the scars well too. You can also get creams to reduce them. Massaging cream in could even help you to remember to care for yourself instead of hurt yourself.If they are still woulnds then be sure to keep them clean and dry and allow them to breath at least sometimes. It will help them heal and reduce scaring.

    Ideally be open with those you are close to (and your college if you are ready) so that you don't need to hide them as arefully. A starting moment of awkwardness could be better than constant fear of people knowing.

    Nobody should judge you harshly for your scars if that is your fear. Frankly if they do you should take it as a sign they aren't worth bothering with.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Kindred)
    Hey there. Sorry to hear you're feeling rough at the moment. Before I get to your actual question i'd like to suggest you open up to somebody. There are loads of options for who to talk to and you can talk to whoever you feel most comfortable with and tell them as much or as little as you want. Ultimate goal would be to see a doctor or therapist but it can be good for some people to open up to friends, family, strangers on an online forum, charaties like samaritans or teachers first.
    You do not deserve to feel like this and it can and will get better. You just need to take the first few steps and then you won't have to do it alone. It's a difficult thing to do, but it really helps- trust me. I felt terrible for about two years before talking to my doctor. It took balls to do and I had to push a little to be taken seriously, but soon enough things were looking up and I wasn't alone anymore. Just seeing the doctor and getting that validation made things seem more managable.
    Also if you are ever struggling with thoughts or suicide please know you can call Samaritans or 111. You never need to be alone through this.

    Anyway, as for the scars. It depends on if you are ready to show them. It would be great if you were at the point you could show them and not feel self concious, but that just may not be the case yet. If you feel like you need to hide them then you can. If they are on your wrist you could wear a ribbon or armband or watch to cover it. Leggs and arms can be covered by clothes easily. Be sure to care for the scars well too. You can also get creams to reduce them. Massaging cream in could even help you to remember to care for yourself instead of hurt yourself.If they are still woulnds then be sure to keep them clean and dry and allow them to breath at least sometimes. It will help them heal and reduce scaring.

    Ideally be open with those you are close to (and your college if you are ready) so that you don't need to hide them as arefully. A starting moment of awkwardness could be better than constant fear of people knowing.

    Nobody should judge you harshly for your scars if that is your fear. Frankly if they do you should take it as a sign they aren't worth bothering with.
    Okay thank you but I find it difficult to open up to people.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay thank you but I find it difficult to open up to people.
    That's fine. It's all down to what you feel comfortable with. Good luck at college
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    I'd say to cover them at least to start with. Rightly or wrongly, some people will immediately judge you upon seeing your scars - it's happened to me and sucks. But once you've made friends/got to know people and they've got to know you, you might feel more comfortable wearing clothes that don't cover them. However, that's up to you. I would say if you're still hurting yourself then maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to show them. I would also agree with Kindred that telling someone is the best course of action here. People don't S/H for no reason and if you share what's going on for you, well that's probably the first step towards conquering this. I have a lot of scars and I feel so ashamed of them - I've had a few sessions with a laser to make them less noticeable but, damn, it's painful.

    Good luck with whatever you decide. :hugs: If you feel the need to talk to someone online, I recommend the Mental Health Support Society for people who've been where you are/can sympathize.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'd say to cover them at least to start with. Rightly or wrongly, some people will immediately judge you upon seeing your scars - it's happened to me and sucks. But once you've made friends/got to know people and they've got to know you, you might feel more comfortable wearing clothes that don't cover them. However, that's up to you. I would say if you're still hurting yourself then maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to show them. I would also agree with Kindred that telling someone is the best course of action here. People don't S/H for no reason and if you share what's going on for you, well that's probably the first step towards conquering this. I have a lot of scars and I feel so ashamed of them - I've had a few sessions with a laser to make them less noticeable but, damn, it's painful.

    Good luck with whatever you decide. :hugs: If you feel the need to talk to someone online, I recommend the Mental Health Support Society for people who've been where you are/can sympathize.
    Okay, thank you. I start back today and I think I will cover them. I don't want to be judged by people that don't even know me. I will try and talk to someone but it could take some time as I tend to bottle things up.
 
 
 
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