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    Hey, I'm struggling to think of an opening line for my Personal Statement. I've come up with:


    Apart from my incredibly less-than-average functioning eyes, my main objective whilst attending the opticians during childhood was to observe the many structural diagrams of the human eye, where I first began to gain an insight into the intricate world of Biology.

    However, I was wondering if it was too colloquial (the very beginning part about the eyes)? Or if I should stick with something more cliche like 'I want to study Biology because...'

    Thanks
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    It sounds good but I think you should day 'Apart from having my less than average functioning eyes checked'. That makes more sense I think.
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    (Original post by alexa7328)
    Thank you! Something like that would definitely be more appropriate. Did you use something along those lines, or just make it up now?
    Hey I'm glad u like it, made it up now, but I am doing my own personal statement so kinda on the ball if you know what I mean. I'm not applying for biology so use it if you want delete this thread tho or someone else might use it too.

    And if u do decide to mention something like the experiments I mentioned, make sure you actually research it yourself as you may get questioned at interview.
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    (Original post by alexa7328)
    Ahh awesome, I think I'll use it as a guideline but not word for word as I'd still like for it to be my own writing!

    Thank you so much though, it definitely gave me an idea of what to write and I'll delete the thread anyway just in case.

    Good luck with yours too :P
    Good I'm glad I helped and best of luck
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    (Original post by alexa7328)
    Ahh awesome, I think I'll use it as a guideline but not word for word as I'd still like for it to be my own writing!

    Thank you so much though, it definitely gave me an idea of what to write and I'll delete the thread anyway just in case.

    Good luck with yours too :P
    Urrrrr.... I don't think you can use whatever you just came up with. It could be classified as plagiarism even though you came up with it. It's on the Internet now :L Sorry.

    Still delete it though!
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    (Original post by alexa7328)
    Hey, I'm struggling to think of an opening line for my Personal Statement. I've come up with:


    Apart from my incredibly less-than-average functioning eyes, my main objective whilst attending the opticians during childhood was to observe the many structural diagrams of the human eye, where I first began to gain an insight into the intricate world of Biology.

    However, I was wondering if it was too colloquial (the very beginning part about the eyes)? Or if I should stick with something more cliche like 'I want to study Biology because...'

    Thanks
    It's a good idea to draw on examples, but be honest with yourself, looking at eye diagrams at the optician is not the reason you're choosing to study biology... Any admissions tutor reading it will just be thinking ********.

    You don't really need to stand out much in the opening few sentences, just have something functional that conveys the main point and is an actually accurate representation of why you want to study biology and not some generic sensationalised bs
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    (Original post by IRoranth)
    Urrrrr.... I don't think you can use whatever you just came up with. It could be classified as plagiarism even though you came up with it. It's on the Internet now :L Sorry.

    Still delete it though!
    I'm not gonna use it, don't worry, just going to use it for general inspiration!
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    (Original post by alexa7328)
    I'm not gonna use it, don't worry, just going to use it for general inspiration!
    Ok
 
 
 
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