How to handle situation: Datey or Matey

When I was at 6th form in 2001 I went out with this chap and it was lovely but only lasted a few months as his ex girlfriend was completely psychotic and made things VERY difficult for us.

I logged in to facebook this morning to find a message from him that said 'you're looking hot lady! What's the nightlife like in Southampton? Fancy getting together to check out some bars next weekend?' and I'm not sure if he meant it a datey or matey way. I haven't spoken to him since we broke up so it seemed quite a random way to get in touch rather than just saying hey or something. I have a boyfriend who I am very happy with and I replied 'catching up would be cool, the nightlife is pretty good with lots of choice I think you'd like clowns and jesters as it's dirt cheap. We have a spare room so you can stay over if you like'. I have just instatntly taken it to be a matey thing and offered him the spare room as he'd be coming down from Brighton but my housemates think he means it in a more datey/flirty/hook up way.

I'm a bit confused how to proceed because I don't want to leap in there and say 'oh i have a boyfriend who i'm happy with' because if I am barking up the wrong tree entirely then I'll look like a dick and also it might make catching up with an old friend awkward however don't want to not mention it and then have a situation if he tries to make a move.

I should probably just shush and quit worrying eh?

(Anon as a) bit embarrased and b) mutual friends on here!

Reply 1

Helenia

I think you should take it however you want to - I would guess maybe he was trying to find out if you were still keen on him, but if you make it clear that it's friends-only, there shouldn't be too many problems.

I should also point out that Jesters is a ****hole though. :p:

Reply 2

adrian_nicholl

Sounds like he is just taking his chances

Reply 3

Music_Enthusiast

I can imagine myself saying that to an ex gf in a matey way.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Taking his chances like he thinks I'm easy??! Or taking his chance like he thinks I might still fancy him?
He better bloody not think I'm easy otherwise I'll hook him up with a Jesters uggo!

Helenia - am shocked, Jesters? A ******hole? never!

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