Considering breaking up with my girlfriend

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
Here are some of the main reasons why I am having to consider this:

1. She has attempted to blackmail me on multiple occasions for the most ridiculous things. Once I was humming to myself and she threatened to go home if I didn't stop. Not giving into such ridiculousness I carried on and she actually drove home mid-date. Since then I haven't risked the more serious threats of breaking up.
2. Communication is almost non-existent on text chat. Messages are taking almost all day to be responded to and when they are it is often a very short response like "yes" or "that sounds good" that are impossible to further a conversation with (I am writing messages that can be easily expanded into full conversations). This was not a problem at the start of the relationship.
3. I am always the one to organise the dates and form the plans. She still seems resistant to plan the dates herself after I have encouraged her many times. This wouldn't be a problem if she didn't cancel nearly every plan I make, which are time-consuming to make and when I am working a full-time job this really isn't appreciated.

I have no idea what to do. The first step is obviously communicating these problems to her, yet pointing out her problems is not going to go down too well. We've been dating for over a year now. If I give up this easily it feels like a throwaway of an otherwise perfectly good relationship.
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UWS
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#2
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It doesn't sound like a very interesting relationship if you're the one continuously driving it. You may think it's a good relationship, but to me the 3 points you've made don't really indicate that.

Talk to her about her behaviour, maybe she's getting bored?
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999tigger
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She sounds bored and is considering the same.
Talk to her if you wnat to make change but it will require effort on both your parts. YTwo sides to every story and all that.
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username1726117
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Do yourself a favor, cut her loose if she's not willing to communicate with you and work on these problems. Save yourself the headache and you'll find someone much more worthwhile.
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DamnDaniel2
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If you carry on dating someone like that then you're throwing away your love life. Honestly, there are girls out there who would greatly appreciate your efforts etc and be madly in love with you.

Break up with her. She doesn't seem worthy tbh update us on how it went.

Btw I know you'll feel depressed the first few weeks but you'll soon realise that you don't need someone like her and that it was the best decision you've ever made


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Anonymous #2
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I actually know how you feel. I once went out with this girl she was nice but I got bored after a while and basically this very attractive friend/house mate of mine told me how she felt about me. At first I wasn't so sure but then we grew close over time and then I dumped the other girl. Frankly the new was more attractive (the other girl was black), taller, smarter and smelt great. We got together after having a naked wrestling match which if she won I had to break up with my girlfriend. She won, we then had sex and I decided to dump the other girl.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by UWS)
It doesn't sound like a very interesting relationship if you're the one continuously driving it. You may think it's a good relationship, but to me the 3 points you've made don't really indicate that.

Talk to her about her behaviour, maybe she's getting bored?
When we actually meet in person she seems far from bored though. Excluding the occasional blackmail and emotional outbursts she acts like the best girlfriend when we're together.
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Anonymous #1
#8
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(Original post by DamnDaniel2)
If you carry on dating someone like that then you're throwing away your love life. Honestly, there are girls out there who would greatly appreciate your efforts etc and be madly in love with you.

Break up with her. She doesn't seem worthy tbh update us on how it went.

Btw I know you'll feel depressed the first few weeks but you'll soon realise that you don't need someone like her and that it was the best decision you've ever made


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Yet to meet one of these girls unfortunately. My current girlfriend has treated me better than any other girl ever has, as sad as it is to say. Feels like a huge risk to give her up when I may not find someone for years to come.
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Cruxell
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#9
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If you are even thinking about breaking up with her it means that you subconsciously wanna do it. However if she is treating you better than any other girl you were with I'd suggest the following:
Wait for a day or two to see if her behavior was perhaps only temporary.
Speak to her while alone, not busy, not stressed, not extra-happy and not having sex.
- If she denied being a lousy girlfriend and answered in an aggressive manner, tell her you are actually considering breaking up with her and await her response.
- If she agreed to what you said and admitted that she hadn't been the best lately, thank her for admitting and see if she will annoy you again.
- If she accused you of being a lousy boyfriend, listen to her and discuss it. She is entitled to her opinion.
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username47781
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#10
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Here are some of the main reasons why I am having to consider this:

1. She has attempted to blackmail me on multiple occasions for the most ridiculous things. Once I was humming to myself and she threatened to go home if I didn't stop. Not giving into such ridiculousness I carried on and she actually drove home mid-date. Since then I haven't risked the more serious threats of breaking up.
2. Communication is almost non-existent on text chat. Messages are taking almost all day to be responded to and when they are it is often a very short response like "yes" or "that sounds good" that are impossible to further a conversation with (I am writing messages that can be easily expanded into full conversations). This was not a problem at the start of the relationship.
3. I am always the one to organise the dates and form the plans. She still seems resistant to plan the dates herself after I have encouraged her many times. This wouldn't be a problem if she didn't cancel nearly every plan I make, which are time-consuming to make and when I am working a full-time job this really isn't appreciated.

I have no idea what to do. The first step is obviously communicating these problems to her, yet pointing out her problems is not going to go down too well. We've been dating for over a year now. If I give up this easily it feels like a throwaway of an otherwise perfectly good relationship.
Doesn't sound good at all you need to talk to each other about this and see what the problem is and figure out whether you still want to be with each other. If she refuses to discuss it then I would say end it, no point being with someone for the sake of it.
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Pinkberry_y
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#11
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#11
Is there anything remotely positive about this relationship?
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LillyB14
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#12
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#12
Didn't read you post but no one deserves to be with someone who's not 100% in to and committed to them. So if you think about breaking up then do.


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