Original post by AnonymousHi, I had no time to reply or read comments during this day.
Before I read your comments I had decided to forgive her. She has been the best girlfriend I ever had. I could tell how sorry she was, and I believe (or at least hope) that the boy flirted with her first. Even if he didn't, and she did, she could've been curious or wanted to experiment perhaps.
After she admitted last night she went to her mother's. Firstly I was pissed off like hell, and still am, I called her a thousand times to tell her that our relationship is over, no answer of course. But after I woke up (and took a bunch of aspirin :/ ) I imagined my life without her. I've been with her for nine months as her boyfriend, and nearly two years(-ish) as a friend. I wouldn't want to share my intimate life with you, but she is just phenomenal. She is intelligent, kind, relatively beautiful. And I used to enjoy every second spent with her. I just wouldn't be able to live without her. So I convinced myself to forgive her, or at least talk to her. I decided to completely forgive her as long as he tells me the complete truth. Her phone was still off, but I finally decided to go over to her mother's place. Her mother, the nicest person I ever met, told me, after ages of me begging her, that she was with the boy she was with last night. Didn't tell me his name though. I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart, my life was being destroyed. I drove back to my apartment, drank alcohol for five hours straight, but then I suddenly felt nothing but hatred towards her and the scumbag ****ing her. A friend of mine traced her phone (***** forgot to turn it off) and told me she was in some restaurant. I went there, and - I saw one of my closest friends there... There was nothing but rage, anger and hatred inside me but, scared of all this **** happening suddenly, I went away. Also I did not want to make a scene in public. Her mother called me and told me to come to her place. She calmed me down and I stayed there with her. Then my ex (first time I called her "ex") came, and **** was real. She was surprisingly calm and wanted to talk this trough with me. She said that that **** approached her first and that she as curious. She said that the invited him to the restaurant to tell him that their affair is over. She literally cried, begged me not to dump her, and even called herself a ***** and stuff... I was, however, still furious as **** and, ohhhh I soooo regret the following now, I went to exit her house. She kinda jumped on me to try to hug me, but, I don't know what the hell was I thinking, I pushed her off me and she fell on the floor. To make things even ****ing worse, I called her a ***** and slammed the door in her face. I don't know what to do anymore or if there is any more chance to fix our relationship. I desperately want to get back with her but I don't know if she wants to see me anymore. I'm ready to forgive her, but I don't know if she can forgive me for what a jerk I was.
What do I do now?