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I'm worried I've done something wrong with my boyfriend... Watch

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    Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 years now, we're both 21 and have been thinking about going away for Christmas. So basically me and Connor sat down the other day and me him and his mum were talking about going on holiday at Christmas just us two, and he made me like fall in love with the idea of centre parcs. Was a really lovely conversation and we were like ooooh what an amazing idea, only 5 days so can fit it in with work etc. And then we went to book it while I was at work and then he rang me afterwards and was like hey guess what I've just found an amazing deal but for Spain, for 7 days and flying home on Christmas Day. And I was like oh I'm so sorry I don't think I can get that much time off work, I don't want to be flying home on Christmas Day and I'd rather do something a bit more Christmassy anyway and cold etc! I'm really sorry I wish I could warm to the idea but I'd rather do something that doesn't involve travelling around on our first Christmas Day together! So I suggested like three other places and he was like no. no. no. Conversation was left saying don't worry we'll find a compromise! Happy to spend it wherever as long as it's with you! And then today my family friend's mum passed away and it was really upsetting, and he really was being so cold with me and all I wanted was someone to talk to. So I asked him to call me and he was still being off with me, and after "consoling" me in the bluntest way ever I asked hi what was wrong and he was like actually I'm ****ed off about the fact you don't want to go to Spain. And I was literally like... I'm really sorry but I don't. And we discussed it for ages and then he said I was being spoilt for not wanting to go 😔 and then I said you do whatever you want, but please take me into consideration! And then he was like ok fine well I'm gonna go then and I said ok well if you're giving me an ultimatum of course I'll go with you. I just wanted to see if I could change your mind first. And he was like actually no why don't you **** off I'm just gonna go with my family instead. And I was literally like what... And he was being so nasty, and I can't tell whether I've actually done something really bad by saying no to something I don't want to do. And I'm just confused and because I'm upset about other things like the friend passing away I'm really really hurt by the way he's gone about it and genuinely upset. Don't know what to do.
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    You haven't done anything wrong. He's just throwing his toys out his pram for some reason. Sorry to hear about your family friend.
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    He needs to learn he can't always get his own way and sorry but no one wants to travel on Christmas Day! Part of Christmas Day is all about waking up early with your family with the whole festive atmosphere going on!
    Also very sorry to hear about your family friend xx
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    Not your fault. I'd get that he's disappointed, but he's over-the-top in his reaction to you
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    wow... he is really out of order... if you take a holiday as a couple you have to compromise and agree on something that works for both of you, whether that's on location, timing, money, activities - there will always be things you have different view on... he needs to grow up and accept that, if he wants to go to spain there will be other times to go on that trip and if he doesn't want to go to center parcs then he can say that - perhaps you find something you both want or perhaps you wait til later in the year, it's hardly a big deal

    I would tell him he's really out of order and swearing at you and so on is just not acceptable, you both have to compromise and you shouldn't be spoken to like that end of...
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    (Original post by kerwickdanielle)
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 years now, we're both 21 and have been thinking about going away for Christmas. So basically me and Connor sat down the other day and me him and his mum were talking about going on holiday at Christmas just us two, and he made me like fall in love with the idea of centre parcs. Was a really lovely conversation and we were like ooooh what an amazing idea, only 5 days so can fit it in with work etc. And then we went to book it while I was at work and then he rang me afterwards and was like hey guess what I've just found an amazing deal but for Spain, for 7 days and flying home on Christmas Day. And I was like oh I'm so sorry I don't think I can get that much time off work, I don't want to be flying home on Christmas Day and I'd rather do something a bit more Christmassy anyway and cold etc! I'm really sorry I wish I could warm to the idea but I'd rather do something that doesn't involve travelling around on our first Christmas Day together! So I suggested like three other places and he was like no. no. no. Conversation was left saying don't worry we'll find a compromise! Happy to spend it wherever as long as it's with you! And then today my family friend's mum passed away and it was really upsetting, and he really was being so cold with me and all I wanted was someone to talk to. So I asked him to call me and he was still being off with me, and after "consoling" me in the bluntest way ever I asked hi what was wrong and he was like actually I'm ****ed off about the fact you don't want to go to Spain. And I was literally like... I'm really sorry but I don't. And we discussed it for ages and then he said I was being spoilt for not wanting to go 😔 and then I said you do whatever you want, but please take me into consideration! And then he was like ok fine well I'm gonna go then and I said ok well if you're giving me an ultimatum of course I'll go with you. I just wanted to see if I could change your mind first. And he was like actually no why don't you **** off I'm just gonna go with my family instead. And I was literally like what... And he was being so nasty, and I can't tell whether I've actually done something really bad by saying no to something I don't want to do. And I'm just confused and because I'm upset about other things like the friend passing away I'm really really hurt by the way he's gone about it and genuinely upset. Don't know what to do.

    I hate to break it to you but this to me looks like a pre-existing problem. I reckon he had doubts about your relationship before this holiday fiasco ever came up. Then he suggested Spain on purpose because he knew you wanted to go somewhere else so he was sort of "looking for a fight" and now he's finally expressing the feeling that was bottled up inside for a while.

    It's a guy thing we all do it uncontrollably.
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    None of this is your fault and he's being horrible about it. You were honest about how you felt and seeing as you're going away together you'd think he'd care about what you want to do.

    He's been cruel and apathetic about you dealing with your loss and on top of that is trying to make you feel really bad for just being honest about what you wanted. You even said that you'd go with him if he's going to give an ultimatum but if I were you I'd tell him to get back to you when he can talk to you without swearing and shouting at you. He's being immature, selfish and manipulative. You're allowed to have your own opinion about where you want to go and he shouldn't be trying to force you into it.

    If your boyfriend will turn on you over something as simple as this I would be wary.
 
 
 
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