Avoiding sex because I'm really scared of pregnancy? Watch

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
So I've been seriously avoiding sex because I'm super scared of getting pregnant. I haven't even had sex yet, but I've been in a long term relationship for a while and I trust this guy to be my first time.
I've never ever wanted kids, I hate them and I also hate people who go "oh you'll change your mind when you get older!"
I'm so scared of becoming pregnant because to me that would be my life over, my life would be ruined if I had kids and even though I would be fine with having an abortion it's not really an experience I want to go through.

I am super aware of the safeness etc of condoms and the contraceptive pill, but no matter how many times I remind myself how safe they are I'm still terrified.

I feel like even if I had sex and it was amazing I would live the next few months of my life in pure anxiety and fear and never want to do it again.

I'm sorry if this is strange, I appreciate any advice. Thank you!
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Anonymous #2
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ANal.
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soanonymous
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#3
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It sounds like you're not ready to have sex at all. Maybe in the future your views would change. Why would you be afraid of getting pregnant if you're being safe? Use more than one method of contraception and you'll be fine. I don't understand what there is to be scared about? People have sex all the time and most who don't want to get pregnant, don't.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by soanonymous)
It sounds like you're not ready to have sex at all. Maybe in the future your views would change. Why would you be afraid of getting pregnant if you're being safe? Use more than one method of contraception and you'll be fine. I don't understand what there is to be scared about? People have sex all the time and most who don't want to get pregnant, don't.
Like I said, I completely understand how safe it can be. I'm not stupid, I understand sex and how it can be made safe etc. I'm quite a sexual person and I know that I am ready to have sex. There is just this weird anxiety in my head that is stopping me, even though I know it can be made perfectly safe.

To people who want children the idea of being scared of pregnancy is a weird one. I absolutely cannot stand children and I know that if I had any I would be the worst mother in the world. For me, it would be like my life was over it I had children. Like I said, this sounds dramtic to others but this is what the weird anxiety in my head is telling me.
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lulucoco98
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#5
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There are different forms of contraception- not just the pill and condoms!!!

NHS it-!!! There's the implant, patch, pill - loads more!!!!!!
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Moonstruck16
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#6
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Abstinence is the only form of contraception that is 100% guranteed to work. The others, like everything else in life you choose to do, come with risks.

I agree with the other poster. You don't sound ready for sex. You should probably talk to a therapist if you really feel uncomfortable with the idea of just going for it.

As for children, whilst I am definitely NOT promoting abortion or everything, this is the 21st century and I'm assuming you're in a country that allows abortion. If you did by some chance get pregnant, there is nothing forcing you to keep the child. And there are other options too, obviously.
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Pinkberry_y
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#7
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Get your tubes tied. There, problem solved
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Bittah Demon
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#8
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(Original post by Pinkberry_y)
Get your tubes tied. There, problem solved
Given the nature of this post, doubt they are of an age where anyone would agree to do that.
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Lavaridge
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#9
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If you take the contraceptive pill as specified in the instructions, it's effectiveness is very high. My last girlfriend and I never had a pregnancy scare and we'd been using it for 2 years. I really can sympathize with your fear though, sometimes I try to think about sex from a woman's point of view and end up having similar feelings to you! But all we can tell you is the facts and our own experiences of contraception, and it sounds like you've already done your research on that.

Crucial to mention, though, is that even if somehow you forgot to take the pill for long enough or something interfered with it, conception doesn't equal baby. Early-stage abortion is very straightforward and is just another pill. So for the one time in your life (if that) where the pill fails, nobody ever has to have a baby they don't want.
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SlavsOut
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#10
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#10
Its a good thing basically. Concentrate on your education and then when studies are completed with your family's blessing find the right man to be make a decent woman of you and start family life.
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Rum Ham
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#11
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#11
I am the same, I don't want kids, never have and it never changed when I did accidentally fall pregnant I was taking microgynon religiously, never missed a pill. Before the unwanted pregnancy, I had sex with my partner, albeit not too often since I wasn't the most sexual person to begin with but ever since that pregnancy and abortion, I've lost all faith in contraception. I knew it wasn't 100% effective to begin but you do get that "it'll never happen to me!" feeling and then its a shock when it does.

I'm still with the partner I accidentally fell pregnant with and I take a different pill now and touch wood for the last four years, we've had no mishaps on it but I dread having sex in case it happens again.
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username1230881
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I've been seriously avoiding sex because I'm super scared of getting pregnant. I haven't even had sex yet, but I've been in a long term relationship for a while and I trust this guy to be my first time.
I've never ever wanted kids, I hate them and I also hate people who go "oh you'll change your mind when you get older!"
I'm so scared of becoming pregnant because to me that would be my life over, my life would be ruined if I had kids and even though I would be fine with having an abortion it's not really an experience I want to go through.

I am super aware of the safeness etc of condoms and the contraceptive pill, but no matter how many times I remind myself how safe they are I'm still terrified.

I feel like even if I had sex and it was amazing I would live the next few months of my life in pure anxiety and fear and never want to do it again.

I'm sorry if this is strange, I appreciate any advice. Thank you!
I think your fear is natural, but the chances of pregnancy even with only one contraceptive method are tiny; with two, it's beyond tiny. If you don't want to have sex then obviously don't, but if you do, there's no need to be concerned if you're using both condoms and the pill.
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Callicious
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#13
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Fear of pregnancy is normal; I'm a guy and I'm scared I'll impregnate my SO every time I get in there. One month where her period was a week late, I was running around like a woodchuck during mating season; don't worry, you might just not be ready

Just take your time, work out more contraceptive methods as some others have said, and I'm sure you wont get pregnant. If you do happen to get pregnant, well, you know; if you're fine with it, flush the little bunny out.
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unprinted
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#14
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Everyone has their own level of acceptable risk.

The implant is so reliable, it's more reliable than a sterilisation op. You can reduce the risk still further by using condoms and/or having him ejaculate outside you. If that's not enough for you, you're going to find it difficult to be sexual with men.
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Contradiction19
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#15
Report 1 year ago
#15
I completely get this because I am a virgin as well and I am older and want to but I am also scared of getting pregnant. I would say to talk to your gyno for advice just to be reassured . I think it would really help.
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Contradiction19
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#16
Report 1 year ago
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(Original post by soanonymous)
It sounds like you're not ready hto have sex at all. Maybe in the future your views would change. Why would you be afraid of getting pregnant if you're being safe? Use more than one method of contraception and you'll be fine. I don't understand what there is to be scared about? People have sex all the time and most who don't want to get pregnant, don't.
(Original post by Anonymous)
Like I said, I completely understand how safe it can be. I'm not stupid, I understand sex and how it can be made safe etc. I'm quite a sexual person and I know that I am ready to have sex. There is just this weird anxiety in my head that is stopping me, even though I know it can be made perfectly safe.

To people who want children the idea of being scared of pregnancy is a weird one. I absolutely cannot stand children and I know that if I had any I would be the worst mother in the world. For me, it would be like my life was over it I had children. Like I said, this sounds dramtic to others but this is what the weird anxiety in my head is telling me.
Hi, honestly I don’t listen to the other person who commented, that person does not understand how it feels to be a virgin . It’s ok to feel the way you feel, I am a virgin myself and completely get this . I think you should talk to your doctor / gyno to get advice/ reassurance .
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0622307213
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#17
Report 7 months ago
#17
I have the same fear too I’ve had protected sex quite a few timesNd I still think to myself What if I’m pregnant It’s an everyday ‘s thing If I have small things like sore nipples or a mild headache or an early period I get so frustrated but those are only symptomso of ovulation but can be symptoms of pregnancy too.The other day my one friend was trying to tell me that I look really nice with my new hair style but he said I’m glowing I became nuts Nd started asking ppl if I’m glowing Nd they just said no My hairstyle makes me look different I did so much research about pregnancy symptoms Nd if I see that a that a mild headache is part of pregnancy symptoms I become nuts But I know that the condom we used wasnt dripping ,it didn’t have holes in it , Nd even though we were using a condom he pulled out before he came 🤧But I still get paranoid I need serious advice please Because I don’t have money for a pregnancy test All I know is If the is no *** there’s no pregnancy But I worry anyway Please I need serious advice please
Last edited by 0622307213; 7 months ago
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dw13
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#18
Report 2 weeks ago
#18
Hi I was exactly the same.. I know the feeling.
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