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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi everyone
    I have a really long story but I hope someone can help me understand how to overcome this. I've just finished my GCSE's and during my time at school my friend group ditched me in year 9. Because of this I spent the last 2 years completely friendless and barely spoke to anyone but my family. Before any of this happened I would've considered myself a confident person, I used to talk to everyone I saw without care and had no problems making friends it just seemed natural. I've finally left my school for 6th form college and I thought I could just snap back into my old self and be confident again but I feel as if being alone for so long has had a lasting effect on my social skills. Since starting college I haven't made any new friends and when nice people talk to me my heart starts racing, and I can feel my face turning red. I think it makes people think I'm really shy wen I don't even feel that way like I want nothing more than for people to talk to me! So why do I react so weirdly to someone literally just talking to me? After doing some research it sounds a lot like social phobia in some ways but at the same time it seems like people with social phobia have it since childhood whereas anyone who knew me as a child would know I always loved being centre of attention etc. So it doesn't make sense to me. I'd really appreciate if someone could suggest why I react so oddly to people just talking to me and how to overcome this chronic shyness which I've seemed yo squire in the last 3 years. Thanks.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi everyone
    I have a really long story but I hope someone can help me understand how to overcome this. I've just finished my GCSE's and during my time at school my friend group ditched me in year 9. Because of this I spent the last 2 years completely friendless and barely spoke to anyone but my family. Before any of this happened I would've considered myself a confident person, I used to talk to everyone I saw without care and had no problems making friends it just seemed natural. I've finally left my school for 6th form college and I thought I could just snap back into my old self and be confident again but I feel as if being alone for so long has had a lasting effect on my social skills. Since starting college I haven't made any new friends and when nice people talk to me my heart starts racing, and I can feel my face turning red. I think it makes people think I'm really shy wen I don't even feel that way like I want nothing more than for people to talk to me! So why do I react so weirdly to someone literally just talking to me? After doing some research it sounds a lot like social phobia in some ways but at the same time it seems like people with social phobia have it since childhood whereas anyone who knew me as a child would know I always loved being centre of attention etc. So it doesn't make sense to me. I'd really appreciate if someone could suggest why I react so oddly to people just talking to me and how to overcome this chronic shyness which I've seemed yo squire in the last 3 years. Thanks.
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    Hi, I'm so glad somebody has done this because I am literally in the exact same position as yourself.
    I've also just started Sixth Form after spending 3 months or so away from school friends and most of my family.
    Over the summer, I declined every time my friends said we should go out and was basically in my room reading or on my phone and only coming out to eat food.
    The only time I left my room was to go to the library and even that was a struggle for me,
    I hated looking at people when walking there and avoided anyone I knew. I would notice I would start burning up when someone literally just met my eyes or looked in my direction. Every time someone did look I would think that there is something wrong with my appearance or I dropped something or even something so ridiculous like bird poop being on my back.
    But then obviously theirs nothing there
    I've never been so self conscious in my life.
    I don't know if this is social anxiety exactly but I would also like an answer to why I've suddenly decided to act in this weird way.
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    Hi.
    Sorry to hear about your friends ditching you like that. I can relate to your experience to some extent. This is sometimes natural as well. Such fears can take place even if a person does not endure such stuff because after all, no one wants to be cheated on and also, sometimes questions do arise in your mind when making a new friend that whether he/she is gonna back stab you or not etc.You had gone through something bad so it is quite natural for you to be a bit freaked out or shy. If you are talking to someone who you know is being nice and you've heard of them being nice people then there is no need to be scared. Start off the conversation in a simple manner and once you and they become comfortable with each other, you'll see that things become fine and you can slowly develop the habit of getting along with people.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi everyone
    I have a really long story but I hope someone can help me understand how to overcome this. I've just finished my GCSE's and during my time at school my friend group ditched me in year 9. Because of this I spent the last 2 years completely friendless and barely spoke to anyone but my family. Before any of this happened I would've considered myself a confident person, I used to talk to everyone I saw without care and had no problems making friends it just seemed natural. I've finally left my school for 6th form college and I thought I could just snap back into my old self and be confident again but I feel as if being alone for so long has had a lasting effect on my social skills. Since starting college I haven't made any new friends and when nice people talk to me my heart starts racing, and I can feel my face turning red. I think it makes people think I'm really shy wen I don't even feel that way like I want nothing more than for people to talk to me! So why do I react so weirdly to someone literally just talking to me? After doing some research it sounds a lot like social phobia in some ways but at the same time it seems like people with social phobia have it since childhood whereas anyone who knew me as a child would know I always loved being centre of attention etc. So it doesn't make sense to me. I'd really appreciate if someone could suggest why I react so oddly to people just talking to me and how to overcome this chronic shyness which I've seemed yo squire in the last 3 years. Thanks.
    Been in your position so I know exactly how you feel. I actually cut off my friend group at the beginning of year 10 and spent the next 7 years as a complete loner. After suffering from extreme anxiety for almost all of that period I suddenly came to the realisation that no one really cares how you act. You somehow have to push yourself through that barrier and not care about what people think too much. My advice is to ask people questions about themselves. Not in an interview style way, but expand on what they have to say and really listen. Everyone loves to talk about themselves and before long you'll find people wanting to hang around with you to feel appreciated.
 
 
 
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