Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Every time I get to know a girl it goes wrong, why? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I have never had a relationship. I met a girl at a drinks do at the weekend (She broke up with her ex a month ago) and before she had to leave early on, she asked for my FB. A couple of days later I messaged her saying it was nice meeting her. The last few days we had been facebooking a lot. She seemed interested very interested in talking me? She was sending very long replies and she seemed to be giving hints about how she wanted a guy that enjoys travelling after I said I had done some travelling.

    Then suddenly tonight she just says that she hopes she wasn't leading me on and that she was still in a bit of a situation with her ex?

    This sort of s*** keeps happening and I don't know what I am doing wrong? I am not sending instant or desperate responses. I don't get why girls don't like me?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Stop looking for relationships, girls can smell it and thus feel bad for banging guys that want that, bang multiple girls and eventually some of them will try to lock you down, you shouldn't be the one looking for it, had you gave off a more one night stand kinda feeling she would have done it with you then to spite her ex and if you were good would have came back for more possibly cheating on her ex at the same time.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Mr beta. She broke up with her with her ex a month ago. You think she is looking for a relationship?

    She's looking to bang as much as possible.

    I bet if you show us the convo you're using an array of emojis, being all nice and telling her that she deserves better than her 'prick of a ex' - turning her drier than the Sahara.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    they don't dislike you, she was talking to you a lot and enjoyed it but it seems like she was enjoying having you as a friend. thats what the problem is here, you get friendzoned by all the girls you've spoken to because theres something about you that just says 'friend material' rather than boyfriend material - not trying to be rude by saying that. thats just what you need to work on. at any point did you try it on with her, did you ask her out or drop hints that you'd be interested? because thats what a guy sort of needs to do, if hes happy to just talk to her as a friend she will just view you as a friend. i'm not saying be pushy but if you want a relationship you need to be the one who asks her out first and let it be known that that is what you are looking for. try dating sites.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Then suddenly tonight she just says that she hopes she wasn't leading me on and that she was still in a bit of a situation with her ex?
    This sort of s*** keeps happening and I don't know what I am doing wrong? I am not sending instant or desperate responses. I don't get why girls don't like me?
    The way you communicate sings of inexperience and uncertainty (both style"?" and content). Get more experience (social exposure, ideally of the banterous variety), work on self-worth and self-esteem as necessary, be more cheeky/ballsy, and impress upon such women the real you

    Chances are, with this particular girl, she's see-sawing a bit between her ex and new interests (yourself included). Not really your place but I'd be interested to know whether he's basically religated her to ****-jar status, and would almost certainly overstep the mark and encourage her to have a little more self-respect if it transpired that was, in fact, the case

    This is a high risk strategy but being the man I am has seen me good in my love life so there you go. Always be congruent, mind, never try to run before you can crawl. Check out my related threads FYI :yy:

    Related article: Psychological Qualities Women Find Attractive in Men
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by TruthBeTold')
    Mr beta. She broke up with her with her ex a month ago. You think she is looking for a relationship?

    She's looking to bang as much as possible.

    I bet if you show us the convo you're using an array of emojis, being all nice and telling her that she deserves better than her 'prick of a ex' - turning her drier than the Sahara.
    Yeah that's how it's going I have to be honest. Anyway I can recover it?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Stop talking to her and start talking to othe girls then watch what happens
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    The way you communicate sings of inexperience and uncertainty (both style"?" and content). Get more experience (social exposure, ideally of the banterous variety), work on self-worth and self-esteem as necessary, be more cheeky/ballsy, and impress upon such women the real you

    Chances are, with this particular girl, she's see-sawing a bit between her ex and new interests (yourself included). Not really your place but I'd be interested to know whether he's basically religated her to ****-jar status, and would almost certainly overstep the mark and encourage her to have a little more self-respect if it transpired that was, in fact, the case

    This is a high risk strategy but being the man I am has seen me good in my love life so there you go. Always be congruent, mind, never try to run before you can crawl. Check out my related threads FYI :yy:

    Related article: Psychological Qualities Women Find Attractive in Men
    In all honesty I wasn't initially thinking of anything happening as I'm starting Uni in just over a week meaning it would be unrealistic. But then she said stuff like "If we met again I'd take photos of you and that I would look great" etc.

    I definitely lack experience and I really need to work on my self-esteem. Got any advice for Freshers?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah that's how it's going I have to be honest. Anyway I can recover it?
    Of course it is, of course it is.

    Recovery method : She doesn't exist in your life anymore. She messages you? Ignore. If you don't have the balls to do that yet then one word replies.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In all honesty I wasn't initially thinking of anything happening as I'm starting Uni in just over a week meaning it would be unrealistic. But then she said stuff like "If we met again I'd take photos of you and that I would look great" etc
    Fair play. So many options with a comment like that, from extra chirpy:

    "It's a quaint imaginationing (yes, that's a word). Some day I'd like to make you my princess"

    ..through to extra dry:

    "*****, I ain't your backup boyfriend prop!" :naughty:

    I definitely lack experience and I really need to work on my self-esteem. Got any advice for Freshers?
    Check out the link I gave you and really put in some time each day on that, plus socialisation/self-esteem boosting measures. Bottom line: don't take yourself too seriously/be too concerned by what others think, they're just mortals

    Also consider vibing e.g. with the right people, pass times, music, etc. Get yourself into the zone as best you can (don't overdo it with alcohol), and remember everyone's in the same boat at freshers and just to relax and live in the moment, this is a unique time of fun and frivolity! :woo:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Fair play. So many options with a comment like that, from extra chirpy:

    "It's a quaint imaginationing (yes, that's a word). Some day I'd like to make you my princess"

    ..through to extra dry:

    "*****, I ain't your backup boyfriend prop!" :naughty:

    Check out the link I gave you and really put in some time each day on that, plus socialisation/self-esteem boosting measures. Bottom line: don't take yourself too seriously/be too concerned by what others think, they're just mortals

    Also consider vibing e.g. with the right people, pass times, music, etc. Get yourself into the zone as best you can (don't overdo it with alcohol), and remember everyone's in the same boat at freshers and just to relax and live in the moment, this is a unique time of fun and frivolity! :woo:
    Thanks very much man!
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks very much man!
    At your service, TSR :top2:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have never had a relationship. I met a girl at a drinks do at the weekend (She broke up with her ex a month ago) and before she had to leave early on, she asked for my FB. A couple of days later I messaged her saying it was nice meeting her. The last few days we had been facebooking a lot. She seemed interested very interested in talking me? She was sending very long replies and she seemed to be giving hints about how she wanted a guy that enjoys travelling after I said I had done some travelling.

    Then suddenly tonight she just says that she hopes she wasn't leading me on and that she was still in a bit of a situation with her ex?

    This sort of s*** keeps happening and I don't know what I am doing wrong? I am not sending instant or desperate responses. I don't get why girls don't like me?
    How long have you guys been talking for? No offense but if shes just come out of a relationship then like someone else has said, she wont be looking to jump into another one straight away, and you have no control over that and should respect that. Kinda sounds like you havent been talking that long anyway, you hardly really know each other do you? So you cant really expect her to be interested in you if she hardly knows you or hasnt known you very long. If yous have only met in person once as well? Kinda sounds like youve maybe had higher expectations from these online convos. It usually takes a few months if not more to build up a friendship with someone which then might lead to dating.

    Sounds like shes told you where you stand by saying she still has a situation with her ex, which was nice of her to be honest with you rather than not telling you and "leading you on".

    It kinda sounds like maybe you've just had bad luck with women/relationships, and are taking these bad situations personally. You've been speaking to someone not long out of a relationship, thats nothing to do with you. You could easily meet someone tomorrow who has no history or hasnt been in a relationship for a while and things go fine between you. It just sounds like youve maybe met people at the wrong time, but are thinking its their fault or yours that nothing has happened.

    TL;DR: sounds more like bad timing rather than you specifically "failing" with women. Maybe stop taking things personally. Also if someone isnt interested in you thats up to them, shes told you where you stand and how she has stuff with her ex. a woman can still communicate with you without it necessarily leading to sex or a relationship.
    • Very Important Poster
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    Welcome Squad
    You need to show the girl you like her so flirt a bit.

    Also stop going for girls who recently broke up. You'll just be the rebound guy.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Perhaps it's your age group? Remember that many younger people (most, even) aren't looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship. Perhaps it's best to wait until you find someone who is genuinely willing to go the distance, and who will be faithful and trustworthy. Then you can look back on your past as the path which led to a beautiful future!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 10, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Is cheesecake a cake?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.