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Haven't seen my boyfriend in over a month! LDR AMA :) watch

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    Haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd make a thread I'm off to uni in a few weeks and I'm hoping we can make it work! We met on TSR btw
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    How long have you been together for?
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    How long have you been together for?
    It's our anniversary on my first day at uni :lol: October 1st - so nearly a year
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    What's the difference between noodles and spaghetti?
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    How can I become pregnant as a male?
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    (Original post by UWS)
    What's the difference between noodles and spaghetti?
    Noodles are the real og and Italy APPROPRIATED the noodles and called them spaghetti :shakecane:
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    (Original post by RDKGames)
    How can I become pregnant as a male?
    sjw lifehack: be born with female genitalia but identify as male and get knocked up
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    (Original post by picklescamp)
    Haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd make a thread I'm off to uni in a few weeks and I'm hoping we can make it work! We met on TSR btw
    What are the things you find help you two feel close or feel like a couple when you are apart for long periods of time?

    I am another fellow LDR girl here, but my relationship is different in the fact that we are LDR at university (4.5 hours away on a train) and were not LDR when we initially get together in high school 3.5 years before uni. I know your pain!
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    (Original post by Natalierm2707)
    What are the things you find help you two feel close or feel like a couple when you are apart for long periods of time?

    I am another fellow LDR girl here, but my relationship is different in the fact that we are LDR at university (4.5 hours away on a train) and were not LDR when we initially get together in high school 3.5 years before uni. I know your pain!
    Aw, I'll be in your position soon! But yeah, we've always been LDR, just not AS long distance as we're about to be

    He'd disagree but I think honesty/sometimes arguing really helps us confront the things we struggle with about the distance and come back stronger and more loving. Whatever gestures we can do from a distance are great!
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    (Original post by picklescamp)
    Aw, I'll be in your position soon! But yeah, we've always been LDR, just not AS long distance as we're about to be

    He'd disagree but I think honesty/sometimes arguing really helps us confront the things we struggle with about the distance and come back stronger and more loving. Whatever gestures we can do from a distance are great!
    Couldnt agree more, its hard when your away from someone and cannot speak in person to discuss issues and be honest with eachother, for my relationship its important to not argue but to discuss rationally, arguing long distance is just not fun nor the correct way to deal with issues for us.

    I really like skyping and watching a TV programme together, were massive doctor who fans so we will watch an episode at the same time over skype, its nice to be able to still do things together when we are apart for a month at a time.

    How far away will you be from eachother? if its expensive to travel make sure you plan trips and book them in advance so that you can save money!
    Also when going to university try to let the other person enjoy freshers and uni life, but also dont let them go to mad and jeopardise your relationship, you need to discuss beforehand what you both want from the relationship and set some boundaries etc.
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    Still a better lovestory than twilight.
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    (Original post by Natalierm2707)
    Couldnt agree more, its hard when your away from someone and cannot speak in person to discuss issues and be honest with eachother, for my relationship its important to not argue but to discuss rationally, arguing long distance is just not fun nor the correct way to deal with issues for us.

    I really like skyping and watching a TV programme together, were massive doctor who fans so we will watch an episode at the same time over skype, its nice to be able to still do things together when we are apart for a month at a time.

    How far away will you be from eachother? if its expensive to travel make sure you plan trips and book them in advance so that you can save money!
    Also when going to university try to let the other person enjoy freshers and uni life, but also dont let them go to mad and jeopardise your relationship, you need to discuss beforehand what you both want from the relationship and set some boundaries etc.
    Thanks so much for the advice, I will make sure we have that conversation when I see him next

    we skype a lot too yeah and we stream movies together. Do you know of this site? (https://www.rabb.it/) it's great cos you can be on a chatroom together and stream in the chatroom if that makes sense :lol: my friend whose girlfriend is at uni in another country showed me it haha

    We're about 3 hours by train so I'm expecting it to be expensive- I think we're planning on seeing eachother once every 3 weeks during term time and then more often when I'm home from uni but I'll have to see how that works in my budget.
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    Do you have any advice for a girl whose boyfriend is about to go to uni while she's staying at home?

    I'm still in year 13 and I'm unsure of what to expect, we've talked and decided we want to stick it out but I'm not sure how we'll cope with not seeing each other in ages!
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    How much can you bench press?
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    (Original post by picklescamp)
    Thanks so much for the advice, I will make sure we have that conversation when I see him next

    we skype a lot too yeah and we stream movies together. Do you know of this site? (https://www.rabb.it/) it's great cos you can be on a chatroom together and stream in the chatroom if that makes sense :lol: my friend whose girlfriend is at uni in another country showed me it haha

    We're about 3 hours by train so I'm expecting it to be expensive- I think we're planning on seeing eachother once every 3 weeks during term time and then more often when I'm home from uni but I'll have to see how that works in my budget.
    No i didnt know about that site I will definetly check it out as its probably easier than juggling skype and a movie (especially on my macbook where the volume cannot be muted).

    3 hours by train shouldnt be to bad, it will be expensive yes but worth it. I see my boyfriend once every 3 weeks as well (sometimes a lot longer though as im a medic so I have a lot of exams and placements). It worked out well last year, we saw eachother once every 3/4/5 weeks and would do some nice things together, it was a great break from uni to. We are 4.5/5 hours away from eachother on the train (cardiff to lancaster) but both have spent summer together (its going to be hard for me to say bye for a month come tuesday ), but after doing LD for a year we know how it works and we know its possible providing you communicate well with eachother and make time for eachother. Its so so easy to get caught up in the people physically around you but dont neglect your loved one just because they arent there.

    So many people told me it would never work, and it doesnt always, many LDRs broke down within the first month (and mine had a rocky patch but we pulled through) and people do drift apart, but I am proud to prove all the people who had no faith wrong because it will work if it was meant to be and if you want it to, and we will be celebrating 5 years together in march.

    Best of luck to you both!
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    (Original post by Steliata)
    Do you have any advice for a girl whose boyfriend is about to go to uni while she's staying at home?

    I'm still in year 13 and I'm unsure of what to expect, we've talked and decided we want to stick it out but I'm not sure how we'll cope with not seeing each other in ages!
    I would say sit down the week before he goes and open up about what you want out of this relationship, do you want to be together and start a family etc. (extreme but you get what i mean) or are you just together to pass the time/be in a relationship/for the benefits, ensure you are both on the same page before going or else it wont work. Then my advice is set some ground rules of what you are both comfortable with in terms of time between next meet up, skyping etc, if you set things up it is more likely that you will do them.

    Also ensure when he is gone and there is a problem that you communicate with him, say if you two argue at lunchtime over text about something silly, ask to speak that evening on skype/phone call calmly about it to solve the situation, letting arguements escalate in LDRs is just a bad mix, your apart so its harder to understand the other persons point of view and distractions of work and uni and being apart prevent things getting solved and this can lead to a build up of tension.

    My other advice is know when your next going to see eachother, have it planned out so that when your feeling a bit down one day from missing him you have a date to look forwards to, being left in limbo often makes the waiting to see eachother harder.

    Lastly and probably most importantly understand that an LDR comes with challenges, you cannot live in eachother pockets when your so many miles away, you both need time to have fun and let lose with your own friends, the only time this becomes an issue is when you dont spend any time at all on eachother, or when this leads to infidelity, so again make sure you discuss what you want to do.

    Hope this helps. x
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    (Original post by Natalierm2707)
    No i didnt know about that site I will definetly check it out as its probably easier than juggling skype and a movie (especially on my macbook where the volume cannot be muted).

    3 hours by train shouldnt be to bad, it will be expensive yes but worth it. I see my boyfriend once every 3 weeks as well (sometimes a lot longer though as im a medic so I have a lot of exams and placements). It worked out well last year, we saw eachother once every 3/4/5 weeks and would do some nice things together, it was a great break from uni to. We are 4.5/5 hours away from eachother on the train (cardiff to lancaster) but both have spent summer together (its going to be hard for me to say bye for a month come tuesday ), but after doing LD for a year we know how it works and we know its possible providing you communicate well with eachother and make time for eachother. Its so so easy to get caught up in the people physically around you but dont neglect your loved one just because they arent there.

    So many people told me it would never work, and it doesnt always, many LDRs broke down within the first month (and mine had a rocky patch but we pulled through) and people do drift apart, but I am proud to prove all the people who had no faith wrong because it will work if it was meant to be and if you want it to, and we will be celebrating 5 years together in march.

    Best of luck to you both!
    You have no idea how amazing that post was. Ive been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. I love him very dearly. And i can imagine a future with him. But he's at uni now and we've been 5 days apart. And its been so painful. Im off to uni in a few weeks. We're a 7 hour train journey apart! For the first few days I constantly worried and called him. But I've realised that this is wrong and so now I've backed off. I want him to enjoy it, and not worry about keeping me happy right now. You only get one freshers!

    My question is how do you deal with the pain? I've cried everyday. I used to seeing him every other day for the last 3 years. Now its every 5 weeks. Its a complete shock. I feel like I'm grieving. You have given me hope. So many people say to just break up! Thats not an option i want to consider right now
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    (Original post by nobodycarescarla)
    You have no idea how amazing that post was. Ive been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. I love him very dearly. And i can imagine a future with him. But he's at uni now and we've been 5 days apart. And its been so painful. Im off to uni in a few weeks. We're a 7 hour train journey apart! For the first few days I constantly worried and called him. But I've realised that this is wrong and so now I've backed off. I want him to enjoy it, and not worry about keeping me happy right now. You only get one freshers!

    My question is how do you deal with the pain? I've cried everyday. I used to seeing him every other day for the last 3 years. Now its every 5 weeks. Its a complete shock. I feel like I'm grieving. You have given me hope. So many people say to just break up! Thats not an option i want to consider right now
    Awww hun I really do feel you, I have just moved back to uni and my boyfriend has dropped out so is now back home, but we are still 3.5 hours away on the train, its been tough the first few days as we have been inseperable all summer, but we both have lives outside of our relationship and great friends which makes it a heck of a lot easier.

    In terms of dealing with the pain, its just about working through it. My best advice is keep yourself occupied, talk to him regularly and skype when you can, but its important to know that crying about it isnt going to make it any better, it will just make you worse. Missing someone and being apart for so long is SO TOUGH, people really dont get it when they havent done it. But after a year of LDR at uni I can say that it does get easier, you find other ways to communicate and spend time with eachother.

    freshers is a much harder environment to maintain an LDR, its full of boozed up kids who have just got their first taste of freedom and they relish it. Its a full on pressurised environment to be in and it may be a little overwhelming for both of you at first, many emotions will be running through your mind. just ensure you keep talking x
 
 
 
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