Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

What does it mean to "miss the idea" of someone? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    "It's so easy to think you miss someone when really you miss the idea of them"

    What does this even mean?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    it means sometimes after you haven't seen or spoken to someone in a while you may 'forget' what the person is actually like and start to remember them based on your own projections (i.e, what you 'wish' they were like or your fantasies of having them back etc). It's quite common for example in cases where someone starts to miss their ex or someone they used to be friends with despite the fact that the relationship had ended badly and the person hadn't been good to them. As time goes on the person may begin to forget or suppress all the negative emotions associated with their ex or old friend and suddenly start remembering positive things. So they're not actually missing the person, they're just missing a fantasy.

    Another way of looking at it is like this. Lets say you went to a lake summer camp when you where 10 years old. You absolutely hated being there, the other kids bullied you, you didn't like the food and you were homesick the whole time. but you made 1 or 2 friends and did some things you enjoyed like swimming in the lake. Many years later, you're 17 years old and you suddenly start feeling nostalgic for the summer camp you went to as a kid. Enough time has passed that you don't fully remember or associate with the negative emotions and feelings you had when you were actually there, you only remember the good stuff (swimming in the lake, your one or two friends). Boy, you really do miss that summer camp. So here's the thing: you don't actually miss the summer camp (because though you dont fully remember it, it was actually a pretty crap experience) you're only missing the idea of it, that is, your nostalgic fantasy of what you think it had been like.

    Hope that helps.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I imagine it's referring to when a person builds an unrealistic idea of what someone is as opposed to seeing them for what they actually are, faults and all, and therefore, when that someone is gone, they're missing this idealized version of them as opposed to the actual person.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Punder Girl)
    I imagine it's referring to when a person builds an unrealistic idea of what someone is as opposed to seeing them for what they actually are, faults and all, and therefore, when that someone is gone, they're missing this idealized version of them as opposed to the actual person.
    Exactly this

    Happens from time to time
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    You miss what you wanted to have with them or what you thought you had with them, rather than what the reality now is or was.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 9, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brexit voters: Do you stand by your vote?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.