The Student Room Group

Why can he still hurt me??

I broke up with my boyfriend in March, we werent going out for long but I really really cared about him.

Afterwards I hurt for a really long time, cried myself to sleep lots. Ive stopped crying myself to sleep (everynight) I still have the odd occasion when I cry, but I dont feel as bad as I used to.

Anyway my ex is seeing this (absolutly stunningly gorgeous) girl, and he keeps telling me all about how they go out and spend time together and everything. It shouldnt bother me but it does.

I feel angry that before I met him I was happy with my life, after he broke up with me...I cant seem to find happiness anywhere. Everything I do seems to go wrong (its like im the anti-midas) ...whilst everything he does seems to go fantastically. The last time I spoke to him he kept telling me how happy he was (ive never heard anyone say "Im so happy" so many times in a conversation).

Why does he have the ability to upset me. I dont want him back, so why do I feel upset that he's seeing someone else? I dont understand what I feel at all and its driving me mad :frown:

(I cant not talk to him / cut him out because I have to see him everyday)

thanks
xx
Why did you break up with him? It doesn't sound like you really really cared, it sounds like you fell in love.
RedRiotRoses
Why did you break up with him? It doesn't sound like you really really cared, it sounds like you fell in love.



Sorry, I meant he broke up with me; not the other way around (if thats what you meant) and im not sure, he never really gave me a proper explanation I tried asking but he never would tell me.
Out of interest, why does he tell you about stuff like that? Are you 'friends'?
RN450
Obviously not you thick lady!!!


Uh huh. Yeah, that's right. You're so right. Lolzorg, I'm impressed. Like, lolz!1!!



Ahem...



Back to the OP's problem...
Laces
Out of interest, why does he tell you about stuff like that? Are you 'friends'?


We're not really good / best friends or anything. We're trying to be friends. We have to see each other almost everyday so we cant not talk or anything...

I dont know why he tells me, I literally asked him if he was having a good summer, and he started telling me about how he's seeing this girl, spending lots of time with her, how they we're sunbathing and how he's "so happy" (he repeated the "im so happy" part about 6 times).
Reply 6
I know , I can be impressive at time.

Thank you madame.
Reply 7
millie_cookie_monster
We're not really good / best friends or anything. We're trying to be friends. We have to see each other almost everyday so we cant not talk or anything...

I dont know why he tells me, I literally asked him if he was having a good summer, and he started telling me about how he's seeing this girl, spending lots of time with her, how they we're sunbathing and how he's "so happy" (he repeated the "im so happy" part about 6 times).


You sound like 15 to me. Go and do your homework. Remember, the government wants u to get minimum of 5 A*-C grades :smile:
millie_cookie_monster
We're not really good / best friends or anything. We're trying to be friends. We have to see each other almost everyday so we cant not talk or anything...

I dont know why he tells me, I literally asked him if he was having a good summer, and he started telling me about how he's seeing this girl, spending lots of time with her, how they we're sunbathing and how he's "so happy" (he repeated the "im so happy" part about 6 times).


Well, he's being a bit of a dipstick.

There's a big difference between being friends and acquaintances. You need to focus on being the latter, for your own good.
You still have feelings for him? maybe you should go find a new guy to focus your attention on because he sounds like he is doing you no good, he has moved on and has no problem telling you about it but it is hurting you and you don't deserve that.
I was once in a similar situation... when i was 15 though!

I *had* to be by him quite a lot (it was during term and our classes had set seating plans!), so we were 'friends' just to get along but he always talked about his new gf to me... I always thought it was more of a 'look, i've moved on' type thing rather than him just generally chatting with me

Either way, sorry, but your just going to have to try and ignore it. Time will heal any pain your feeling now, so it will get better soon! :hugs:

-x-
He sounds a bit of an idiot, not to mention the fact he seems to like rubbing it in your face. Your only chance is to completely ignore him and pretend you are not upset while he is around. I suspect he'll try come crawling back if it don't work out with this other girl who he's probably only seeing for an ego boost. But don't let him crawl back you are better than this.
Laces
Uh huh. Yeah, that's right. You're so right. Lolzorg, I'm impressed. Like, lolz!1!!



Ahem...



Back to the OP's problem...


What a waste of time your post was.
Shreerac27
What a waste of time your post was.


You're almost amusing me now.

And it's pretty sad to quote a post that has already been deleted.
Reply 14
OP - are you sure you didn't do anything (or that he thinks you did something) which caused him to split, and now he's rubbing your face in it like Rock Fan said. If not, then try to block him out and hope he gets the message, because he is torturing you and probably knows full well he is.
Reply 15
I think that he might be happy but not half as happy as he is making out to be! I do think it is a "look at me I have moved on" kinda thing.
For heavens sake whatever you do, do NOT let him see how this is affecting you! Keep your dignity and move on. I actually think that you moment you have moved on and say for example found a new mand and said how much YOU were happy he wouldnt take it very well!!!

Time is healing and as you've said - You dont want him back. Thats a good big step from how you felt back in March so think what you'll feel like in the near future - Great. You will have moved on, life will have become more fun and less depressing and hay now that the other guys in your classes would get the feeling you're ready to find someone new then i am pretty sure you'll find a great guy! :smile:
RN450
You sound like 15 to me. Go and do your homework. Remember, the government wants u to get minimum of 5 A*-C grades :smile:


..cringe
Reply 17
If you still have to see him regularly I'd avoid asking him questions he can give elabourate answers to - i.e just say hi to him and be very smiley but don't ask him how is or what he has been upto. What sort of situation do you see him in? Work?

I think it's really cruel of him to be rubbing your face in it after he dumped you, it's not like you dumped him and he's saying all this to try and prove how better off he is without you to save face. I know you really cared about him but what does this tell you about the kind of person he is if he can be so unsensitive and well, mean I'd say. You can do better.

All this "i'm so happy" lark, is he really so happy that he has to continually state this? Happy people don't usually go around saying so do they? I think he's just over compensating and really isn't that great.

It sounds like you're having a bit of a pants time at the moment but I promise things will get better. When I broke up with my ex of 3 & a half years it was really **** for about a year and like your situtation my ex moved on almost instantly and seemed to really land on his feet. A year onwards from that my life is great and my ex's seems a bit dull. You need to get a new focus, mine was losing weight and toning up so maybe you could do that and make yourself super gorgeous. Or save up and get a haircut and buy a new wardrobe or something.
Reply 18
You're jealous, not of his new girlfriend, but of him. I've seen it before, you keep comparing yourself with him. He's happy, you have to be happier or you're unhappy. Find another area of your life to be more 'succesful' than him in then harden the ******* up and grow a mustache.

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