drowsybun
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I want to know if anyone has this, or if anyone could help me out.

I've developed this complex recently that only Oxbridge is good enough, and all other unis are rubbish. I know it's unhealthy to think that way- I think it's probably due to me wanting to prove myself to my family? They're all ridiculously high achieving and all that, and I feel like I'd be a disappointment unless I got into Oxbridge, even if I got into one of the other Russel Group unis. Becuase I fell back in one of my As papers, thus severely weakening my grade (which would have been very good if it were just the coursework), unfortunately... Cambridge isn't in my sights anymore (though I'm still going to try applying)

Does anyone have any ideas that I could get over this complex? Or are any of you are suffering from the same thing?
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Yammy
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Looks like you've been brainwashed by tsr
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drowsybun
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(Original post by Yammy)
Looks like you've been brainwashed by tsr
Lol nah, I actually just joined minutes ago. TSR had nothing to do with this
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biglad2k16
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Yeah I haven't done well in my AS so I won't be applying to Oxbridge and I'm pretty sad about it. But the other unis are pretty good and you can do the same jobs with them
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alcibiade
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It has to fit your character as well as your talents. Oxbridge isn't for everyone, its style and intensity are unique. You may meet the requirements but not like it. Make sure it would fit you and your needs. Indeed, you should be able to tell adm officers why you want oxbridge, and it cannot be because it is the best.

Moreover, I do not think it is healthy to fixate on it as the only acceptable uni, there is luck involved in admissions. You could be qualified and have a fit, but still not make through no fault of your own. There are many excellent alternatives, it is more likely you will go to one of them, so find out about them.

Good luck.
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math42
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Just relax. The world will not end if you do not get into Oxbridge. Countless intelligent people have applied and been rejected. Anyone you should give a damn about, family or otherwise, will understand this, even if they have some disappointment.
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Yammy
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(Original post by drowsybun)
Lol nah, I actually just joined minutes ago. TSR had nothing to do with this
No ones stopping you from giving oxbridge a shot, so apply anyway if you like

Although "proving to your family" doesn't seem like a great reason, course and which uni suits you is probably more important
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by drowsybun)
I want to know if anyone has this, or if anyone could help me out.

I've developed this complex recently that only Oxbridge is good enough, and all other unis are rubbish. I know it's unhealthy to think that way- I think it's probably due to me wanting to prove myself to my family? They're all ridiculously high achieving and all that, and I feel like I'd be a disappointment unless I got into Oxbridge, even if I got into one of the other Russel Group unis. Becuase I fell back in one of my As papers, thus severely weakening my grade (which would have been very good if it were just the coursework), unfortunately... Cambridge isn't in my sights anymore (though I'm still going to try applying)

Does anyone have any ideas that I could get over this complex? Or are any of you are suffering from the same thing?
One individual exam disaster might not prove terminal. Try asking the Peterhouse admissions team, who are answering questions here: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=4300314.
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username1207499
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Cambridge is very intense when you're here so it's not exactly a dreamland and when you graduate it's not like people go 'wow Oxbridge have a job please'. I wouldn't stress over not going to Oxbridge, that is if your as paper is as bad as you say and there's no way of retaking that paper with the new system.
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neyscar
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I know EXACTLY how you feel! I go to a really high-achieving grammar school so Oxbridge is constantly being talked about and many people go there each year. Before, I wasn't really bothered - the idea of university in general just didn't sound like much fun to me. But then as things got serious and the deadlines approached, I thought I should visit Cambridge and I just remember being blown away by how beautiful it was and thinking, "oh my god, I have to end up here somehow".

I started to think that if I got into any other uni I would just be spending my days there thinking, "damn, I could be at Cambridge right now" and I know it's not a healthy attitude. I'm going to be sending in my application very soon and although I still stand a chance, my grades are by no means perfect and I'm still being realistic about it.

I think the thing to bear in mind is that usually people who are disappointed with the uni they're going to end up going there and having a great time and can't even imagine being anywhere else. Cambridge is a lovely place but there are so many great unis, where many great people have graduated from. I think it's good to strive for the best and be confident but, at least for me, I'm trying not to overdo it so I'm not too devastated if I don't make it in.
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drowsybun
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Thanks everyone, reading all these made me feel much better. I visited Birmingham University today and totally fell in love with it! It made me realise that actually, the fact that I'm at a place that I love is much more important. (Plus, the course is amazing)
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Abstract_Prism
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I think a lot of people on TSR feel this way.

The problem is that they get told how intelligent they are when they are really young and might even get taken on trips for 'gifted' students to Oxford/Cambridge and so get an inflated self-image. But in most cases they aren't really Oxbridge standard. I think the 'everyone's a winner' mentality is what enables this.

These people are in line for a barrage of disappointments in life. They will constantly feel like they aren't good enough and that they should be achieving more because that's what they were told they were capable of. I suspect a lot of them will experience depression.

The only way out of it is to make a conscious effort to reduce your perceptions of yourself. You have to accept that you are not Oxbridge standard, you won't be Prime Minister, and you won't win a Nobel Prize. And that's okay.

And of course practically, there are dozens of UK universities that can be described as 'great' and have excellent international reputations. Oxbridge is not the be all and end all.
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Doones
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(Original post by Abstract_Prism)
I think a lot of people on TSR feel this way.
... Oxbridge is not the be all and end all.
Remind me, where are you applying?



Posted from TSR Mobile
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username2752874
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(Original post by drowsybun)
I want to know if anyone has this, or if anyone could help me out.

I've developed this complex recently that only Oxbridge is good enough, and all other unis are rubbish. I know it's unhealthy to think that way- I think it's probably due to me wanting to prove myself to my family? They're all ridiculously high achieving and all that, and I feel like I'd be a disappointment unless I got into Oxbridge, even if I got into one of the other Russel Group unis. Becuase I fell back in one of my As papers, thus severely weakening my grade (which would have been very good if it were just the coursework), unfortunately... Cambridge isn't in my sights anymore (though I'm still going to try applying)

Does anyone have any ideas that I could get over this complex? Or are any of you are suffering from the same thing?
The average Imperial student probably has better A Level grades than the average Oxbridge student - you can argue the Imperial students are higher achievers- if grades are the sole purpose you're basing it on(which is strongly inferred).

Reality is, as long as you go to a strong university and get a good honours degree, an employer isn't going to throw your application in the bin because someone went to Oxbridge and you didn't - it's extremely naive and idiotic to do so. There's the class of the degree, references, interview, experience, job exams, (in some cases) A Level grades, GCSE grades etc. These are all obviously considered before the name of a university. Naturally an Oxbridge student would excel at those typically, but there's still a good chance that say, a Warwick graduate would be better suited, as he/she may have a better interview, exam, experience and references, hence getting the job.

This Oxbridge complex is illogical and silly.
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Abstract_Prism
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(Original post by jneill)
Remind me, where are you applying?



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Not Oxbridge (Though that decision was probably already dictated by my grades lol)

Like a lot of other people, I too was a victim of this 'Oxbridge complex', but I've made a lot of progress and now I am not bothered if I don't apply. I've realised that Oxbridge is not the be all and end all. And if I did apply, I wouldn't be devastated if I didn't get in.
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Abstract_Prism
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(Original post by Reaver Daniels)
What grades did you get??


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AS grades are Distinction* + AAB. My GCSEs aren't good enough for Oxford (1 A*) and my AS' aren't really good enough to convince me that I have a solid chance for Cambridge. Only one of the A's was a solid 90+ A, the other I got 98 UMS in one module and 66 in the other. And the B was just a solid B in both exams.

But hey ho, I'll just focus elsewhere. Bristol is my favourite right now (Law).
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J Papi
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#justTSRthings
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physicsmaths
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(Original post by GradeA*UnderA)
The average Imperial student probably has better A Level grades than the average Oxbridge student - you can argue the Imperial students are higher achievers- if grades are the sole purpose you're basing it on(which is strongly inferred).

Reality is, as long as you go to a strong university and get a good honours degree, an employer isn't going to throw your application in the bin because someone went to Oxbridge and you didn't - it's extremely naive and idiotic to do so. There's the class of the degree, references, interview, experience, job exams, (in some cases) A Level grades, GCSE grades etc. These are all obviously considered before the name of a university. Naturally an Oxbridge student would excel at those typically, but there's still a good chance that say, a Warwick graduate would be better suited, as he/she may have a better interview, exam, experience and references, hence getting the job.

This Oxbridge complex is illogical and silly.
The 'imperial get better grades then oxbridge students' is ******** mate.
Imperial get around 519 UCAS points and Cambridge 567.
That difference is massive.
Even taking into account Imperial has more internationals ie IB takers who heighten UCAS point averages by alot.
Cambridge has arts subjects which always achieve less then sciences, given Imperial has 100% sciences it still doesn't match it.
On sciences alone(like imperial), cambridge hits 600+.
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Kvothe the Arcane
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I felt like this up till results day but then when I failed to meet my offer, I quickly had to change perspective.

Even if in your heart of hearts you feel like Oxbridge are the be and end all, just give other Universities a fair shot and then try your luck at applying.
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Abstract_Prism
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(Original post by Reaver Daniels)
Well what are your predictions for next year?


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They'll either be Distinction* + A*AA or Distinction* + A*A*A.

I doubt Cambridge would be impressed by just lofty predictions though. AS grades are more important than predictions.

I'll still have a go at UCL though.

I'm looking into getting that module I got 66 UMS in remarked; if it goes up to 90+ I will apply to Cambridge because in all other aspects aside from the B I would have a fairly strong application. If I don't get it remarked though I don't think I'll apply.
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