Anger Problems

I think one of my best mates has serious anger problems. He is constantly arguing with people, sometimes strangers, about pointless things. For example on the tube (london underground) he got so angry when he lost his ticket he started punching the adverts on the wall and kicking one of the barriers in, the station guards had to restrain him.

Everybody always laughs at his behavior which I think is the wrong thing to be doing, and when I say this people think I am being stupid. Even when he has a normal conversation with a person, his tone and body language is agressive, which is why I think he doesn't get on with many girls.

Probably the most serious example of his behavior was when we was walking along the road and a group of boys on the otherside throw a half-full coke can at us which hit my friend on the back and soaked us in coke. I said lets just keep walking its not worth getting into a fight over a can of coke. My friend ran after the boys and caught the one who threw it and he beat him so badly I still see it in my head and it scares me that he is capable of such violence. He stamped on his head several times until the boy drew blood and was screaming and crying for him to stop, he then proceeded to urinate over his face and smash the boys phone and personal belongings. When I tried to pull him off this boy he punched me in the face and I fell over, he said sorry a few days later but I don't think he meant it.

How can I help him? I am too scared to talk to him about his problem, I know somebody needs to, but should that person be me? No one else is taking him serious, they are kind of egging him on, espeically after he beat that boy, everyone was praising him like some sort of hero. Of course it made me angry that we was abused in the street by strangers, but vengence can't always be the solution. I don't want him to ruin his life by being angry, never being able to have a proper girlfriend or have a laugh, keep a job etc.

How can I help him?

Reply 1

KarlZ

Good Grief!! No disrespect but I think if he were my friend then I would have started to distance myself from him by now. Like with many things - Anger Issues, Depression etc where people need help they will only improve things if they WANT to change and I must say that I don't think your friend thinks there is a problem with his behaviour! I mean he apologised to you but he didnt mean it. How on earth he could justify stamping on a guys head (With the very real potential of killing him and or causing serious damage) over the fact that some UNKNOWN boy in that gang had threw that can at you is just UNBELIEVEABLE! That poor kid must have been scared beyond belief.

If I were you dude I really would start thinking about distancing yourself from him and trying to hang more with some others guys. Dont cut him out completely if you know what I mean but get some distance. If anything he will notice this and if/when he asks just be truthful with him, that you think he can be out of control, hes already hit you once so what would he be capable of next time he's in the middle of an angry rage?!!

I would suggest Anger Management but he wouldnt go for it, other than that dude I think you are stuck, only he can help himself. Lets just hope you dont come worst by just trying to be a good friend.

Reply 2

danielapart2

Perhaps he just needs to talk about his problems, is he bottling up his anger or something? :s-smilie:

Sounds like he just needs to have a good talk to let it all out, whatever it is/the probs are.

Reply 3

Haze1412

wow, that sounds pretty scary! did he get into any kind of trouble for that beating?! surely the punishment hardly fit the crime? stamping on his head and urinating on him? i think you need to tell either his parents or a teacher or someone who might make him see sense. how old is he? do you have any other friends who feel the same way? he definitely sounds like he has some issues which need to be worked out pronto before he repeats something like that again with more fatal consequences.

although i think distancing yourself from him is a good idea, someone has to make him see sense before it gets a lot worse. and it seems atm that youre the only person noticing the disturbing behavious...heh, sorry im not too sure what im saying. i guess, maybe you need to get someone with more authority to chat to him and put him in some counselling. surely his parents will be supportive if its brought to them how he's behaved?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

I have made some attempts to talk to him but he really is a closed book, he doesn't mention his family much, I think he may possibly have issues at home.

No he didn't get into any trouble for the assault as we just ran away after he hit me whilst other people in the street stared on in horror. If only he was caught, perhaps the police might of helped to sort him out.

I think I might try and alert my friends to his behavior and make them take it a bit more seriously, I am pretty good mates with his sister as well, perhaps she'll be able to help as well.

Thanks for your comments/advice everyone.

Reply 5

Custer

1

I feel sorry for the coke guy... :pepsi:

Reply 6

idiot

1

kastro9

I feel sorry for the coke guy :frown:

I don't. Attacking people on the street at random is a fairly sure way to get the **** beaten out of you eventually. And a kid that stupid, doing something that anti-social, probably needed an arse-kicking that severe, just to help him remember what a bad idea it was to attack people on the street at random.

Angry Steroids Guy needs help, though. Unfortunately for him, he'll probably get his from the state once he's claimed his first victim.

Reply 7

Thud

17

he won't do anything about it unless he wants to change it. erm.....if you do mention it to him he might take it very personally and get mad at you so you'd need to be careful. other than that you could just wait until he realises...if he realises.

Reply 8

NW8_SW1_EC3

idiot

I don't. Attacking people on the street at random is a fairly sure way to get the **** beaten out of you eventually. And a kid that stupid, doing something that anti-social, probably needed an arse-kicking that severe, just to help him remember what a bad idea it was to attack people on the street at random.

Angry Steroids Guy needs help, though. Unfortunately for him, he'll probably get his from the state once he's claimed his first victim.

Agreed, he got the beating he deserved, but this dude does have a problem.

Reply 9

Mr Ben

14

NW8_SW1_EC3

Agreed, he got the beating he deserved, but this dude does have a problem.

I agree that the guy needed a beating to straighten him out, but not that severe, that could easily have killed him, nobody deserves that, nomatter how much of an ******* they are.

Reply 10

SepticLovebite

1

Perhaps just talk to a teacher or family member? I wouldn't be the one to talk to him personally!!

If that doesn't do him any good, then distance yourself from him, don't let him drag you down.

Also, I would consider reporting the abuse to that boy to the police. If somebody in his family can't sort him out, maybe the police will.

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