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Should i move out and live with my dad? watch

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    5 years ago my mum left my dad for being 'abussive', but I never thought of him like that, and we moved to a tiny house. I was young and i believed everything my mum said and i slowly began to hate him, only for years later to find out that she made it all up so that me and my siblings wouldn't want to be with him. However about a year ago, my mum desperately wanted me and my siblings to go on holiday with our grandparents during that time she would never pick up the phone. Then she lied and said that she was working and wasn't feeling well.
    Then she suddenly came up with a plan to buy a bigger house but to get a bank loan she’d need a deposit, so she said that we could let one of our rooms and that she would sleep on the couch only until we had enough money for a deposid. A guy moved in which I wasn’t happy about as we were 3 girls living together with my brother so I thought that a female would move in, The guy and my mum would whisper, laugh and spend time in the bedroom together and everytime we walked in they’s quieten. i knew that it was suspicious and for weeks before she was distant and she would ignore us, and so once when she left her phone in a different room I looked at her pics and messages, and she was texting with this guy who was 8 years younger than her. She made stuff up about us and blaming us for stuff we didn't even do and saying she regrets having us and that she loves him and only wants him, so i told my younger brother, which was a mistake as he believes every single lie she says and he told her. She got so mad at me and hit me, cursed at me and then pretended to be nice to me for the rest of the day to cover for her behaviour, Since then i decided that enough is enough and I decided to live with my dad every other week. I said that I’d live there permanently if he didn’t leave so she agreed and he rents a place about 2 min from our house, so it didin’t really make a difference. Now whenever I go to my mums house she’s on her phone texting or calling him in work and he comes over nearly every day. Whever I try to talk to my mum she sais she’s busy or tired but when he comes over she’s all happy and suddenly has energy. When I ask her if she’d give me a ride to college she always complains and sais I’m wasting money as I could get the bus but at the same time she goes to pick the guy up from work which is roughly 1.5 hours wy without any troubles. Whever I feel ill she sais it’ll go away without even looking up at me but when he sais he has a headache she always goes to him and cuddles him. \
    I mean she’s supposed to be our mother but she’s behaving like a teenager for over a year and whever I overhear them saying something and then I confront her she start yelling and saying that I’m lying. I cry a lot now and I feel miserable living with her. We don’t go out like a family because she drags him everywhere so I stay behind but she doensn’t seem to care she’s just happy that he is there. But my dad is nice to me doesn’t lie or hide stuff like her, and at his house ii feel much much happier so I’m ready to move ther permanently.
    Do you think I should do it or live with my mother as well.
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    (Original post by M12S)
    5 years ago my mum left my dad for being 'abussive', but I never thought of him like that, and we moved to a tiny house. I was young and i believed everything my mum said and i slowly began to hate him, only for years later to find out that she made it all up so that me and my siblings wouldn't want to be with him. However about a year ago, my mum desperately wanted me and my siblings to go on holiday with our grandparents during that time she would never pick up the phone. Then she lied and said that she was working and wasn't feeling well.
    Then she suddenly came up with a plan to buy a bigger house but to get a bank loan she’d need a deposit, so she said that we could let one of our rooms and that she would sleep on the couch only until we had enough money for a deposid. A guy moved in which I wasn’t happy about as we were 3 girls living together with my brother so I thought that a female would move in, The guy and my mum would whisper, laugh and spend time in the bedroom together and everytime we walked in they’s quieten. i knew that it was suspicious and for weeks before she was distant and she would ignore us, and so once when she left her phone in a different room I looked at her pics and messages, and she was texting with this guy who was 8 years younger than her. She made stuff up about us and blaming us for stuff we didn't even do and saying she regrets having us and that she loves him and only wants him, so i told my younger brother, which was a mistake as he believes every single lie she says and he told her. She got so mad at me and hit me, cursed at me and then pretended to be nice to me for the rest of the day to cover for her behaviour, Since then i decided that enough is enough and I decided to live with my dad every other week. I said that I’d live there permanently if he didn’t leave so she agreed and he rents a place about 2 min from our house, so it didin’t really make a difference. Now whenever I go to my mums house she’s on her phone texting or calling him in work and he comes over nearly every day. Whever I try to talk to my mum she sais she’s busy or tired but when he comes over she’s all happy and suddenly has energy. When I ask her if she’d give me a ride to college she always complains and sais I’m wasting money as I could get the bus but at the same time she goes to pick the guy up from work which is roughly 1.5 hours wy without any troubles. Whever I feel ill she sais it’ll go away without even looking up at me but when he sais he has a headache she always goes to him and cuddles him. \
    I mean she’s supposed to be our mother but she’s behaving like a teenager for over a year and whever I overhear them saying something and then I confront her she start yelling and saying that I’m lying. I cry a lot now and I feel miserable living with her. We don’t go out like a family because she drags him everywhere so I stay behind but she doensn’t seem to care she’s just happy that he is there. But my dad is nice to me doesn’t lie or hide stuff like her, and at his house ii feel much much happier so I’m ready to move ther permanently.
    Do you think I should do it or live with my mother as well.
    I really feel for you and I'm sorry about the way your mother has been treating you. You should always be a priority to her and it's awful that she's said stuff about regretting having you. The harsh reality of it all is we can't always get along with family. I'm glad you have your dad though, and I can't believe she would have lied about him being abusive, that's so atrocious....then the hypocrisy when she hurt you for looking at her phone (even though snooping isn't great, her reaction is inexcusable). If I were you I wouldn't hesitate to move in with your dad permanently...you will probably be appreciated more and far happier. All the best with whatever decision you make, I guess if you're nearly 18 and heading off to uni, where you live won't be much of a problem anymore.
 
 
 
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