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Will I be depressed and lonely for life? Watch

    • #1
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    #1

    I feel depressed and lonely(18 year old female). I have been feeling like this for the past month.

    I don't want to go back to college(i start next week) because i know i will be lonely and have no one to talk to seeing as most people are adults(over 20) and even those who are my age(16-18+) are not my type/people i easily click with.

    The college journey is also overwhelming sometimes, especially when there is lots of traffic.

    The teachers at my college are not even enthusiastic about what they are teaching, lessons are boring.

    Last year, i spent lunch times by myself and if i ever spoke to someone it was always about the work, teachers/ what we need to do etc and nothing outside of school related.


    I just feel like i don't fit in anywhere i go.

    I am generally quite as a person so most people find me to be socially awkward/ a person who does not talk in class.

    I don't usually talk because i am shy+ I just don't know what to say and how to spark a conversation.I don't like being in a room full of people as this will give me panic attacks. Some people are really intimidating to talk to, yes, even those with the same race as me, not that this really matters.I am seriously in a world of my own right now and NOBODY seems to understand me, including myself sometimes.



    I NEED HELP ASAP
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    Don't worry B, you got me. X
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    I'm not a girl but I'm 99% sure that you won't.

    I also find it interesting that most people at your college are over 20, should mostly be 16 - 19s

    Anyways, what you've got to change is how you feel about yourself and everything around you, it takes a lot of time and effort, that's why I recommend going to see a therapist or anything similar.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by TreeFellOnMe)
    I'm not a girl but I'm 99% sure that you won't.

    I also find it interesting that most people at your college are over 20, should mostly be 16 - 19s

    Anyways, what you've got to change is how you feel about yourself and everything around you, it takes a lot of time and effort, that's why I recommend going to see a therapist or anything similar.
    Its a further education college, hence there are mature students age 20+
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its a further education college, hence there are mature students age 20+
    You'll survive it. My prayers are with you.
    Have you considered in the past, studying GCSE drama, I was in a similar position and I gained courage from it.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by DP_flightsociety)
    You'll survive it. My prayers are with you.
    Have you considered in the past, studying GCSE drama, I was in a similar position and I gained courage from it.
    I am a shy person so have not considered GCSE Drama.

    I do kind of wish i had picked it as my GCSE option but its to late and most people who have done it stated its really hard as opposed to what most people think.
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    ^

    Anyone else

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a shy person so have not considered GCSE Drama.

    I do kind of wish i had picked it as my GCSE option but its to late and most people who have done it stated its really hard as opposed to what most people think.
    You'll make it thru college. You got to believe.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel depressed and lonely(18 year old female). I have been feeling like this for the past month.

    I don't want to go back to college(i start next week) because i know i will be lonely and have no one to talk to seeing as most people are adults(over 20) and even those who are my age(16-18+) are not my type/people i easily click with.

    The college journey is also overwhelming sometimes, especially when there is lots of traffic.

    The teachers at my college are not even enthusiastic about what they are teaching, lessons are boring.

    Last year, i spent lunch times by myself and if i ever spoke to someone it was always about the work, teachers/ what we need to do etc and nothing outside of school related.


    I just feel like i don't fit in anywhere i go.

    I am generally quite as a person so most people find me to be socially awkward/ a person who does not talk in class.

    I don't usually talk because i am shy+ I just don't know what to say and how to spark a conversation.I don't like being in a room full of people as this will give me panic attacks. Some people are really intimidating to talk to, yes, even those with the same race as me, not that this really matters.I am seriously in a world of my own right now and NOBODY seems to understand me, including myself sometimes.



    I NEED HELP ASAP
    Go up to other people who are alone or who are only in a group of 2 as they probably are desperate for friends but too scared to make the move
    As no one is going to come to you so you have to go to them
    Look around and observe other people, see who is always alone then make your move to talk to them but make sure you tell them you are looking for new friends and don't just concentrate on people your own age because older people can act just as immature or young at heart. You can make friends of any age group as they still have the same interests asyou and it's better to have older friends than none at all and being alone all the time
    Be prepared for rejection and keep trying with different people
    I start college to do a music course on Monday

    Join any societies at college, look on the notice boards or put your own advert up there looking for new friends

    Maybe ask the college for help with seeking professional counsellors to talk to as sometimes they can give good advice and ideas to meet other people who have the same anxieties as you

    Talk to people if they are sitting alone in the dining room, the outside areas or even in the library
    • #2
    #2

    No, I don't think you have to stay like anything. Everyone is capable of changing especially if they've been in difficult situations. Honestly, I think sometimes it is better to have a really hard time when younger as it builds up your strength to fight and gives you more perspectives on people and life later on, so don't feel bad. Most of the coolest people i know had a really hard time when they were younger.You are allowed to change the way you act who you are to find who you are. Personally i was bullied, and a complete loner by the end of high school AND sixth form AND at my first year of university, which I then dropped out of it. I never even went to my proms, and I felt so different and so strange. I know what it feels like to feel completely isolated and not have anyone to talk to or support you through things, really bad. But then afterwards, I found a new strength in me to fight and I started to work. I had three jobs at once, re-started at a new university, and I kept putting myself in difficult situations and trying to be really open with people, smiley, more relaxed, and especially if there were people who seemed alone, I'd try to befriend them, because I knew how bad it felt to be lonely. Eventually it worked. Of course, some people don't like me or they think bad things about me and talk about me behind my back. But that's just what some people do, because they're insecure and cowardly. But I also gained a lot of cool friends just by being open and trying to take people for who they are. I'm sure if I can do it you can.I'm sorry you feel like you're in a bad situation at college, and I know all too well myself it can be overwhelming but i think sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees. Sometimes we can think that everyone else is against us, especially if we have anxiety, but in reality, there's probably some other lonely people around too who would really love some company. Maybe you're just not able to see them because you're too fixated on the anxiety and loneliness of it all. Maybe it's overwhelmed you so you can't see the possibilities right now. Experience has taught me it doesn't really matter how old people are, anyway, after you're around 18 anyway. Don't be closed off from getting to know new people, regardless of how old they are or what race they are. I understand that maybe you'd find it easier to talk to someone of your own age or race because they are similar to you but you shouldn't feel uncomfortable speaking to someone different. Try hard to notice the less noticeable people and pay less attention to the ones that make all the noise, and you'll see you're not the only one who's not super loud. Sometimes just smiling at someone can be a real opening. As someone above suggested, a counsellor might really be able to help you to start feeling more confident about yourself. As I've said, you're not alone, a lot of people have these problems around your age and you shouldn't feel ashamed or like there's something weird about you. It can be hard to be confident. This is a really good video to help you understand why: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGuZVuUBeiQAnd please like to look to the future more and not be closed off to the fact things can change. You can be in new and different situations. Especially if you find a job, I don't know if you have one but that can really help you occupy your time and make you feel more involved with society. Good luck with everything!
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    Keep it simple.

    You only have one life and it is a precious gift blessed upon you, go out and make the most of it!

    Ask yourself, why are you at college? to learn cooking? to learn journalism? one day and sooner than later you will be in that kitchen or in the office of the newspaper following you dreams. Now where are the people you walked past everyday at college? Doing the same! Following their own dreams!

    It's not good to look at someone and by body language think that they are thinking something of you, do you do that to other people? no! Keep focused on what you are trying to achieve.. you get a qualification, you get that job, you get paid, you can buy a car, go travel the world, buy a home, start a family. What is important for you right now is doing the best you can at the career you have chosen. Excellence comes at a price of hard work and dedication, so be excellent!

    Try not to be popular, focus on quality by having a handful of trust-worthy friends and there are so many people you can say hello to and make friends with but what do you really want from them? Ideas about your future career? Invite them to go bowling, or go to the pub and have some down-time together? Just being friendly and chatting and relaxing for 10 minutes before going back into the library for another 3 hours of studying!

    Depression, although can be due to a number of reasons, one thing you know is that you know when you are happy and when you are sad, sometimes you feel good and other times feel not so good.

    Look after number one. YOU! Eat a good diet, vegetables, tomatoes, onions etc. Eat fruits - bananas, oranges, strawberrys.. feel good about what you eat, knowing it is positive and will make you happy. Try having some time to yourself once a week by going to a health spa, my local has a small pool, a jacuzzi and a sauna which you can do for £6! so something like that would relax you!

    Try doing new things and challenging yourself. Go on to youtube and learn how to make a fun cake to share with your family. Learn how to paint. Research and plan trips to interesting things - London has so much fun stuff to do so go there!

    Most importantly, draw up a timeline and put on there what you want to achieve and then fill in all the gaps of what you need to do to get there and before you know you have so much to be getting on with, making your life better FOR YOURSELF, that time will pass and you'll look back and be happy as you knew what you wanted and you went for!

    So make your life happen! Good luck
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    What you've got to realise is life doesn't just get worse and worse and worse as you go through life, it does hit a peak of cr*piness then things start to get better.
    College is a very small portion of your life. Sure you should be friendly to others and try and make friends there where you can, however the main reason you are there is to get the best grades you can so you can go to uni somewhere good and ACTUALLY start your life.
    The person you are in college I.e the number of friends you had, how well you fitted in, how comfortable you felt, how happy you were etc has no bearing on how you're going to find uni. Take it from me a lot of people dislike thief 6th forms or colleges, you're around people that you have to become friends with because of circumstantial reasons. When you get to uni you can actually find people with similar interests and beliefs to you and really click with them.
    Everything is miserable now but trust me when I say this, it does get better, in the mean time just focus on your work and see college as an obstacle you need to jump over to get to the other parts of your life
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    You've got me to talk to. Feel free to message me .

    1) Relax, let things come to you.

    2) Smile.

    3) Be confident, respect yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively.

    4) Dress well, show yourself off, wear clothes that look great, be stylish.

    5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

    6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, ask them about their hobbies, be charming.

    Just go over, say hi and just start chatting! So what if they ignore you? Big deal!

    7) Be passionate about life, how will you occupy your time, this is important, have things to do outside of college.

    8) Lighten up, have a laugh.

    Read books on conversation skills such as how to talk to people or purchase books from your local Amazon store, trust me, this will also help a lot.

    Good luck
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    I got your problem.

    earlier days i am with same problem with full of Depressions, angry, sleepless nights and loneliness. till now also i am suffering with that problem. the only remedy is to take all casual and be calm even if we are with members just keep smile on face before them. because no one can understand why we are like that and we should give any explanations to any one...
    we can njy with loneliness only..
    but last keep try to move close with all some time it may work
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by post-grad-u-ate)
    Keep it simple.

    You only have one life and it is a precious gift blessed upon you, go out and make the most of it!

    Ask yourself, why are you at college? to learn cooking? to learn journalism? one day and sooner than later you will be in that kitchen or in the office of the newspaper following you dreams. Now where are the people you walked past everyday at college? Doing the same! Following their own dreams!

    It's not good to look at someone and by body language think that they are thinking something of you, do you do that to other people? no! Keep focused on what you are trying to achieve.. you get a qualification, you get that job, you get paid, you can buy a car, go travel the world, buy a home, start a family. What is important for you right now is doing the best you can at the career you have chosen. Excellence comes at a price of hard work and dedication, so be excellent!

    Try not to be popular, focus on quality by having a handful of trust-worthy friends and there are so many people you can say hello to and make friends with but what do you really want from them? Ideas about your future career? Invite them to go bowling, or go to the pub and have some down-time together? Just being friendly and chatting and relaxing for 10 minutes before going back into the library for another 3 hours of studying!

    Depression, although can be due to a number of reasons, one thing you know is that you know when you are happy and when you are sad, sometimes you feel good and other times feel not so good.

    Look after number one. YOU! Eat a good diet, vegetables, tomatoes, onions etc. Eat fruits - bananas, oranges, strawberrys.. feel good about what you eat, knowing it is positive and will make you happy. Try having some time to yourself once a week by going to a health spa, my local has a small pool, a jacuzzi and a sauna which you can do for £6! so something like that would relax you!

    Try doing new things and challenging yourself. Go on to youtube and learn how to make a fun cake to share with your family. Learn how to paint. Research and plan trips to interesting things - London has so much fun stuff to do so go there!

    Most importantly, draw up a timeline and put on there what you want to achieve and then fill in all the gaps of what you need to do to get there and before you know you have so much to be getting on with, making your life better FOR YOURSELF, that time will pass and you'll look back and be happy as you knew what you wanted and you went for!

    So make your life happen! Good luck
    WOW.

    A wealth of advice there.

    Thanks for your post

    Much appreciated.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Analyst89)
    You've got me to talk to. Feel free to message me .

    1) Relax, let things come to you.

    2) Smile.

    3) Be confident, respect yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively.

    4) Dress well, show yourself off, wear clothes that look great, be stylish.

    5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

    6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, ask them about their hobbies, be charming.

    Just go over, say hi and just start chatting! So what if they ignore you? Big deal!

    7) Be passionate about life, how will you occupy your time, this is important, have things to do outside of college.

    8) Lighten up, have a laugh.

    Read books on conversation skills such as how to talk to people or purchase books from your local Amazon store, trust me, this will also help a lot.

    Good luck
    Great advice here.

    Thanks for posting.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Pinkberry_y)
    What you've got to realise is life doesn't just get worse and worse and worse as you go through life, it does hit a peak of cr*piness then things start to get better.
    College is a very small portion of your life. Sure you should be friendly to others and try and make friends there where you can, however the main reason you are there is to get the best grades you can so you can go to uni somewhere good and ACTUALLY start your life.
    The person you are in college I.e the number of friends you had, how well you fitted in, how comfortable you felt, how happy you were etc has no bearing on how you're going to find uni. Take it from me a lot of people dislike thief 6th forms or colleges, you're around people that you have to become friends with because of circumstantial reasons. When you get to uni you can actually find people with similar interests and beliefs to you and really click with them.
    Everything is miserable now but trust me when I say this, it does get better, in the mean time just focus on your work and see college as an obstacle you need to jump over to get to the other parts of your life

    This is sooo true.

    Thanks for posting
 
 
 
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