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    So i met this girl about 1,5 months ago. It felt like we immediately had chemistry, she was always smiling at me, responded pretty well when i contacted her, always said yes when i proposed a meet.. and that's where the bad part begins.

    Our first meet (i mean first after the very first time we met) was with a friend of mine, so i wouldn't call that a date. But after we talked, i proposed a meet, said yes immediately. We spent almost the whole day together into the night, watched the sunset, talked, even met her family, stuff like that.

    Then again, i proposed another date, also said yes without hesitation. We went to the city and had a great time. At the end of our date, i felt like i should say something (wasn't thinking about kissing her just yet), so i said that i feel myself very good with her and we should continue this thing. She said that she's not sure, she thinks of me more like as a friend and not sure whether it can be more than that.

    I'm the opposite of overly confident, but when i look at our past meetings, talks, i was kinda right to think that it's going somewhere, no? I mean why the hell would you say yes to OBVIOUS dates if you're not interested? You don't do these kinda things with a friend from the opposite gender.

    Did i maybe scare her with that line above? It was pretty subtle i think. I also know that it's possible that she was interested at the beginning but later realized that she's not, but since we only had two dates.. can you change your mind within one date? I honestly don't know what to think and what the F happened. I would really appreciate your inputs. Thanks!
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    You probably both misread the situation. She was thinking of your "dates" as friends hanging out, you didn't try to make a move on her either so that probably solidified the friend zone. You, on the other hand, were thinking these dates were leading to, I think, preferably a relationship?

    I don't think she's into you any more than as a friend. Are you really that into her OP?
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by chris_mm)
    You don't do these kinda things with a friend from the opposite gender
    I'm a girl, and the stuff you've described as 'dates' for me is just a day out. I've had days like that with a fair few of my male friends and with no intent of it leading somewhere, neither from my or thier prespective. Maybe the girl just didnt think it was dates that you were going on and she liked your company as a friend.
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    (Original post by sugarflower)
    Are you really that into her OP?
    I'm not sure what you mean by "that into her". I was simply interested and asked her out. I'm into her as much as you can be into someone after a few meets. I think she's very attractive and also intellectual. Maybe you're right about the "making a move" part and i didn't establish enough physical connection or flirting, i'm not sure. But it was only just two dates.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've had days like that with a fair few of my male friends.
    But that's the thing, they were already your friends. We weren't. If you meet a new guy and he immediately starts asking you out, it's not a "hang" and you know it. BTW, i'm not saying that she was interested because she said yes to a few meets, but she gave good sings (which i might have misinterpreted, it's possible).
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    Sound like you might be a little beta/spectrum, and for most girls that's not a turn on. Don't let this discourage you, keep getting yourself out there, meeting new people, making new friends, getting to know people. In time, you'll grow into your best self, and will have plenty of opportunities along the way. If you want to short-cut to dating success, then I suggest you consider what it is that women find appealing, and look to incorporate those qualities into how you present yourself/communicate (whilst remaining authentic and congruent, of course). You may also wish to check out my related threads (links in the OP of this thread)
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Sound like you might be a little beta/spectrum
    Because..? Imagine the situation, where a girl says yes to everything and you're having a great time. You'd assume she's interested, just like me.
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    It could just be that you got blown out after two dates. Dating is full of pitfalls.
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    (Original post by chris_mm)
    Because..?
    Style + content of your OP vs. over a decade of experience talking to young people about dating/relationships + relatively adept intuition/analytical skills + having been that guy myself, once upon a time

    Imagine the situation, where a girl says yes to everything and you're having a great time. You'd assume she's interested, just like me
    Indeed I would, but this does not contradict, in the slightest, what I've said. See the above resources placed freely, not to mention generously, at your disposal, for your further reference :yy:
    • #2
    #2

    she was never interested. u hav to make ur intentions clear from the get go, especially by meeting w/ a friend first it really made u seem like u jus want her to be one of ur mates. i can tell from the post u most likely just assumed she was into u and so made no effort to get her on the same page. either cut her off or jus be mates (and be clear ur fine w/ that). next time u want to meet a girl make sure u use the word date and make sure u make some effort to flirt even if jus a little.

    also meeting her family that early on is usually a bad sign, if she was into u she wldnt hav risked that interaction happening so early.
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    Not aggressive enough. Not enough kino. Not enough emotional mind games. Not interesting enough. No humour. No wit.

    I could go on...and on...AND ON
 
 
 
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