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    I'm 23, I've never had a girlfriend and I'm still a virgin. Is this a turn off for girls? Also will I ever get a girlfriend this old? I'm so depressed about it that guys my age can easily get one.
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    It's not a turn off, and you'll meet someone when you step out of your comfort zone. It sounds like you just need to have more confidence in yourself!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 23, I've never had a girlfriend and I'm still a virgin. Is this a turn off for girls? Also will I ever get a girlfriend this old? I'm so depressed about it that guys my age can easily get one.
    For guys getting girls its mostly about social skills.

    For girls getting guys its mostly about looks.

    So personally I feel life is a lot easier on girls than guys. Looks can be improved through make up & fashion for most girls to a point and most off them will know this. They get a few sexy outfits bit of hair and makeup job. Some it will only take them so far as an ugly girl it can do only so much for. Same for fat girls, make up & fashion will only do so much for them - often not a lot since they destroy any affect fashionable clothes would have on them by it all bulging out.

    So considering roughly 50 percent of girls in this country are now obese, would you go for an obese girl? Most guys won't, so competition is now fiercer than it has ever been for even marginally attractive girls, which attractive girls know. Attractive girls will line up a load of guys and take their pick off just one of them, its that competitive. So don't beat yourself up over it, us guys are all in the same unfortunate boat on this one.

    Social skills are to be honest extremely hard to improve, if its even at all possible, otherwise you would have done so, right? You will just have to look for any aid and assistance in doing this. Look for a wingman if you can someone who is better at social skills & try that. Other options are available but to be honest you'll need to try & improve social skills & with that confidence as girls have a big beef over it. Its a pain, god knows why they make it such an issue but they do.
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    Put yourself out there but most of all be yourself. Focus on your life and better yourself and things will come to you in time.

    Not a virgin myself but given my current situation I may as well be one, so I can somewhat sympathize. Trust me when I tell you that the majority of girls, especially decent/quality ones, do not judge you for being a virgin.
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    (Original post by Gavin2016)
    For guys getting girls its mostly about social skills.

    For girls getting guys its mostly about looks.

    So personally I feel life is a lot easier on girls than guys. Looks can be improved through make up & fashion for most girls to a point and most off them will know this. They get a few sexy outfits bit of hair and makeup job. Some it will only take them so far as an ugly girl it can do only so much for. Same for fat girls, make up & fashion will only do so much for them - often not a lot since they destroy any affect fashionable clothes would have on them by it all bulging out.

    So considering roughly 50 percent of girls in this country are now obese, would you go for an obese girl? Most guys won't, so competition is now fiercer than it has ever been for even marginally attractive girls, which attractive girls know. Attractive girls will line up a load of guys and take their pick off just one of them, its that competitive. So don't beat yourself up over it, us guys are all in the same unfortunate boat on this one.

    Social skills are to be honest extremely hard to improve, if its even at all possible, otherwise you would have done so, right? You will just have to look for any aid and assistance in doing this. Look for a wingman if you can someone who is better at social skills & try that. Other options are available but to be honest you'll need to try & improve social skills & with that confidence as girls have a big beef over it. Its a pain, god knows why they make it such an issue but they do.
    Sorry but I disagree with this. In relation to your original issue, OP, as a girl I'm gonna chime in and say ignore everything telling you to get a wingman or change yourself. No one who has had actual experience of dating and finding someone nowadays has done this successfully. And good god, please don't read those "how to get the attention of a girl wearing headphones" articles.

    It sounds cliché as heck but really you just have to be yourself. If you get a wingman, or change yourself to pretend you're more confident, and you find a girl who likes you then they aren't getting to know the real you and you're not doing her or yourself any favours. Be yourself and you will find someone who likes you for you, because that's what you need.

    Being a virgin/not having had a girlfriend at 23 is definitely not a turn off. You are not alone. And contrary to popular belief, most girls aren't going to be judgy monsters about it. If they are (and this will probably be the type of girl you will attract if you try and turn yourself into an arrogant spice boy), then you should look elsewhere because you don't need that in your life.
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    Confidence gets you noticed, don't self pity yourself and you'll be fine. You may need to work on your looks (e.g. hair, clothes, etc..) as well
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 23, I've never had a girlfriend and I'm still a virgin. Is this a turn off for girls? Also will I ever get a girlfriend this old? I'm so depressed about it that guys my age can easily get one.
    Try not to get too disheartened man. I don't think most girls would care that much to be honest. Try to improve your self-confidence & self-esteem, I know it's hard in your situation but girls are attracted to someone who doesn't wallow in self-pity, so you have to at least seem confident & happy even if you don't feel it inside. If you keep putting yourself in the positions with a positive mindset then surely you'll catch a break soon & find someone. Don't be afraid of rejection & mistakes either, this is all part of the learning curve of life & will make you stronger for it! Best of luck, chin up!!!
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Put yourself out there but most of all be yourself. Focus on your life and better yourself and things will come to you in time.

    Not a virgin myself but given my current situation I may as well be one, so I can somewhat sympathize. Trust me when I tell you that the majority of girls, especially decent/quality ones, do not judge you for being a virgin.
    Every time I see someone use any variant of the phrase 'be yourself' it horrifies me.

    You say it a lot on here.

    Please refrain from its saying it again. It is deceitful and nonconstructive.
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    (Original post by Gavin2016)
    So considering roughly 50 percent of girls in this country are now obese
    Citation needed.
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    (Original post by Plagioclase)
    Citation needed.
    I can vouch for this claim by assuming it's his visual and anecdotal estimation.

    I would also like to point out the honourable gentleman used the word 'roughly' to - quite humbly - demonstrate a his lack of conclusive quantitative evidence.
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    (Original post by TruthBeTold')
    I can vouch for this claim by assuming it's his visual and anecdotal estimation.

    I would also like to point out the honourable gentleman used the word 'roughly' to - quite humbly - demonstrate a his lack of conclusive quantitative evidence.
    It's actually closer to 25% which isn't "roughly" 50% though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 23, I've never had a girlfriend and I'm still a virgin. Is this a turn off for girls? Also will I ever get a girlfriend this old? I'm so depressed about it that guys my age can easily get one.
    >OP hopefully the kind of girl you'd be interested in won't mind if you're a virgin. If a girl really minds then let her go. As a girl it wouldn't be an issue for me if I like the guy and had fun with him and there was a spark between us. Besides you'll just tell the girl you were waiting for that special girl.... you didn't want to be w/ just anyone! I agree confidence goes a long way, seriously. I also think getting actively involved in activities that you enjoy that can take your mind off wanting a girlfriend is helpful. Hopefully you'll find a girl interested in the same activity and you can strike up conversations about activity that can eventually lead to asking her out......etc.

    But, in light of the other conversation about girls and obesity I would like to 'weigh in'. I hope you aren't that guy looking for a super model. If a girl is average or even a few pounds above doesn't make her obese! Believe me, I know guys who won't date anyone who isn't physically perfect! Ha! They may not always be dating but they are happy to sit around and judge what others should look like, in their opinion. I hope, as a 23 year virgin, you get that the relationship is with the person and not the size of her thigh!!! People are, rightfully, advising you to be yourself and I hope you allow your future girl to be herself and allowing her not to have to be physically perfect to still be perfect. As I said, I know (we all do) those guys who sit and judge the girl based on her looks and claim her worthy or unworthy. I also know the girls who throw up, starve, compulsively exercise and refuse to eat any food without thoroughly analyzing it. That is not a pretty picture and believe me you don't want to take that on in a relationship. There are many reasons that potentially cause a young woman to take those drastic measures and develop a poor relationship with food and self esteem but certainly one cause is the claim that normal sizes are obese!! Please don't listen to the above poster who is obviously a judgemental **** in saying 50% are obese. The quality of girl you want does not want to be evaluated solely on her size of her clothing...... just as you don't want to be judged on your virginal status. Both should be a non-issue in the dating world.
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    (Original post by Plagioclase)
    Citation needed.
    "In England in 2013, over 36 percent of women aged 16-24 and 50 percent of women aged 25-34 years were overweight or obese."http://www.rcpch.ac.uk/system/files/protected/news/Obesity%20Summit%20report%20FINA L.pdf

    Tackling England’s childhood obesity crisis
    A report by the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health to inform the development of the UK Government’s childhood obesity strategy
    October 2015
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    (Original post by Gavin2016)
    "In England in 2013, over 36 percent of women aged 16-24 and 50 percent of women aged 25-34 years were overweight or obese."http://www.rcpch.ac.uk/system/files/protected/news/Obesity%20Summit%20report%20FINA L.pdf
    Yes, so your original statement was completely wrong. You said that 50% of women are obese, whereas even in the worst-affected age group, 50% are obese or overweight.
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    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    >OP hopefully the kind of girl you'd be interested in won't mind if you're a virgin. If a girl really minds then let her go. As a girl it wouldn't be an issue for me if I like the guy and had fun with him and there was a spark between us. Besides you'll just tell the girl you were waiting for that special girl.... you didn't want to be w/ just anyone! I agree confidence goes a long way, seriously. I also think getting actively involved in activities that you enjoy that can take your mind off wanting a girlfriend is helpful. Hopefully you'll find a girl interested in the same activity and you can strike up conversations about activity that can eventually lead to asking her out......etc.

    But, in light of the other conversation about girls and obesity I would like to 'weigh in'. I hope you aren't that guy looking for a super model. If a girl is average or even a few pounds above doesn't make her obese! Believe me, I know guys who won't date anyone who isn't physically perfect! Ha! They may not always be dating but they are happy to sit around and judge what others should look like, in their opinion. I hope, as a 23 year virgin, you get that the relationship is with the person and not the size of her thigh!!! People are, rightfully, advising you to be yourself and I hope you allow your future girl to be herself and allowing her not to have to be physically perfect to still be perfect. As I said, I know (we all do) those guys who sit and judge the girl based on her looks and claim her worthy or unworthy. I also know the girls who throw up, starve, compulsively exercise and refuse to eat any food without thoroughly analyzing it. That is not a pretty picture and believe me you don't want to take that on in a relationship. There are many reasons that potentially cause a young woman to take those drastic measures and develop a poor relationship with food and self esteem but certainly one cause is the claim that normal sizes are obese!! Please don't listen to the above poster who is obviously a judgemental **** in saying 50% are obese. The quality of girl you want does not want to be evaluated solely on her size of her clothing...... just as you don't want to be judged on your virginal status. Both should be a non-issue in the dating world.
    Women that are fat are particularly off putting to guys, most guys find this a turn off. I did a poll on here a couple of years or so back and 85-90 of male respondents found it a turn off. The fat on a women itself looks horrible, its real weird looking like a thick layer of flab that makes a woman look so peculiar. A true fat woman tends to be a fat woman through & through, its a different mindset and way of life and changing them is nigh on impossible. They just want to stay that fat size through over excess. I'm not trying to be horrible here, its just the way it is, its how men feel about fat women.

    OP, don't follow the advice of the women here that have gone against my advice. Lounging around in the status quo never helped anyone. How is doing the same you've been doing working out for you so far? Doing the same you have been doing will yield the same results right?

    Instead ask yourself, what sort of guys are the popular/successful with girls? The answer is invariably the real social guys, the out going, extrovert types - above all the good talkers.

    That most likely isn't you, you wouldn't be on here if it was, it isn't me either, I wouldn't be on here either. Its highly unlikely you or I could ever be like them, but we must recognise the truth as it is, as we see it before our very eyes rather than delude ourselves. Social Skills are a big magnet for girls, far more than looks if a guy has both he will get laid a plenty, but a good looking guy who is socially unskilled will miss out time & again.
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    (Original post by Plagioclase)
    Yes, so your original statement was completely wrong. You said that 50% of women are obese, whereas even in the worst-affected age group, 50% are obese or overweight.
    No it was not wrong, there is an age group, most probably around OP age group where 50 percent are obese. This was 2013 figures so odds are obesity in both age groups has probably risen still further since then. This isn't a scientific discussion here but an informal one, so its ridiculous to take it so seriously. In any case even 36 percent age group is not that far from 50 percent, its more than a third of women in that age group. Point being in any case that its a big issue men have facing them these days, a lack of reasonable sized women for those that want them, which is most of us.
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    (Original post by Gavin2016)
    No it was not wrong, there is an age group, most probably around OP age group where 50 percent are obese. This was 2013 figures so odds are obesity in both age groups has probably risen still further since then. This isn't a scientific discussion here but an informal one, so its ridiculous to take it so seriously. In any case even 36 percent age group is not that far from 50 percent, its more than a third of women in that age group. Point being in any case that its a big issue men have facing them these days, a lack of reasonable sized women for those that want them, which is most of us.
    That 36% figure also referred to the overweight and obese category and there are going to be more overweight than obese people so the proportion of obese women will be nowhere near 50%. And if you look at trends versus time, it has slowed recently so it's absolutely ridiculous to claim that it's realistic to claim that 50% of women in an age group are obese. With all due respect, do you actually know the definition for obese? It's pretty serious, I'm not entirely sure what community you interact with where you genuinely believe that half of women are obese.
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    (Original post by Gavin2016)
    Women that are fat are particularly off putting to guys, most guys find this a turn off. I did a poll on here a couple of years or so back and 85-90 of male respondents found it a turn off. The fat on a women itself looks horrible, its real weird looking like a thick layer of flab that makes a woman look so peculiar. A true fat woman tends to be a fat woman through & through, its a different mindset and way of life and changing them is nigh on impossible. They just want to stay that fat size through over excess. I'm not trying to be horrible here, its just the way it is, its how men feel about fat women.

    OP, don't follow the advice of the women here that have gone against my advice. Lounging around in the status quo never helped anyone. How is doing the same you've been doing working out for you so far? Doing the same you have been doing will yield the same results right?

    Instead ask yourself, what sort of guys are the popular/successful with girls? The answer is invariably the real social guys, the out going, extrovert types - above all the good talkers.

    That most likely isn't you, you wouldn't be on here if it was, it isn't me either, I wouldn't be on here either. Its highly unlikely you or I could ever be like them, but we must recognise the truth as it is, as we see it before our very eyes rather than delude ourselves. Social Skills are a big magnet for girls, far more than looks if a guy has both he will get laid a plenty, but a good looking guy who is socially unskilled will miss out time & again.
    Guys obviously don't find 'flab' so bloody off putting if all they talk about is big boobs and butts or the recent media representation of guys wanting girls who are 'thick'. I am skinny and get told I am too skinny. Nothing is ever good enough when it comes to what some guys (*cough you*) expect from girls these days. You say it is easier for girls because they can wear makeup yet so many guys say that girls who wear too much makeup, are 'fake' etc. It obviously isn't easier for girls when people like you exist and we are criticized for being 'too fat' for having curves but also 'too skinny' for not, are told to 'make an effort' if we don't wear makeup but being called 'fake' for wearing it. When it comes to happiness with another person it doesn't come down to how they look, it comes down to their personality, whether they are male or female.
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    (Original post by Plagioclase)
    That 36% figure also referred to the overweight and obese category and there are going to be more overweight than obese people so the proportion of obese women will be nowhere near 50%. And if you look at trends versus time, it has slowed recently so it's absolutely ridiculous to claim that it's realistic to claim that 50% of women in an age group are obese. With all due respect, do you actually know the definition for obese? It's pretty serious, I'm not entirely sure what community you interact with where you genuinely believe that half of women are obese.
    Again we're getting too bogged down with it here. Sure, there is a terminology difference but fat is fat whether just overweight or obese. I generally term overweight and obese the same, others may wish to get scientific but it amounts to the same - 50 percent of women are fat (roughly) and this is a turn of for most men. If you did a pool on here or questionnaired out in public you would fine this is approximately true.
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    Check this advice I dispensed earlier :curious:
 
 
 
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