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    my life so far....growing up i always quiet, never spoke a word..
    so anyway

    started primary school, i got bullied,
    went to secondary school, i got bullied

    failed gcse because of the bullying...then when i left school at age 16!! i developed every diesease!!!

    in the year 2000 - developed acne
    2001 - colitis
    2002 - hayfeather
    2003 - asthma
    in 2003 i couldnt walk, i had fluid in my leg for 6 months, and had to have
    surgery
    to remove it??

    also since day one i was too skinny, i was weighing at 8 and a half stone!!! so going back to college days...when i was 16 and studying, after all the
    bullying, and failing school my confidence, self estem, my motivation, all gone...

    im actually scared to go out the house because of my acne, i would walk down
    the street in fear, if i spoke to anyone i would be sweating,!! and i couldnt look
    the person in the eye, and i could tell the person knows something is up, because they look uncomfortable....

    i use to look like wolverine... from x men! beard hair covering my hole face!!!,
    and i use to have my hair crushed under a hat, which i use to wear 24/7. What made matters worse..., every girl under the sun when i was 16 up until i was 27 - 28 called me ugly, which made my confidence even worse!!

    o and to make matter worse in the last 15 years of my life....ive had 4 jobs
    3 from agencies,
    and i have failed 12 interviews, which has destroyed my confidence even more
    and this is why ive not applied for other jobs, too scared of embarassing myself
    in the interview...

    in all of those jobs last about 3 weeks each!!!
    i left all of them because i was too scared to talk too people, they would look at me weirdly..... i can even hear them talking about me, saying whats up with this guy??

    so anyway going back, ill mention the good points...

    Now im not sure how i did it, but i use to meet my sister after work, and her
    freind was there, she told my sister she liked me, i end up dating her for 6
    years??? i couldnt belive my luck, no lie when i say this she looks exackly like
    alicia kieys, curvy body good personality??? how the hell did she like someone
    like me i have no idea???

    even her mates, cousins and work mates, said to her hes ugly why the hell you
    with him?? now i have met another girl mixed race, which only lasted 3
    she went back to her ex, and another girl after that, lasted a month, becasue
    she moved away, and now im with my wife off 6 years,

    so somehow i managed to get girls...must be pure luck, but i have to thank my
    1st girlfriend, because if it wasnt for her i would of never had a proper
    relationship.and she made me feel like there is hope, with going out with girls...

    anyway, i have had friends, 6 close friends, which i dont see anymore,
    i have been out on holiday twice, ive been around out and about with my friends
    thank god for that,

    i have done stuff, like going out of town, going camping trips, going go carting, ab sailing, swimming, martial arts, so im happy ive done stuff

    now the thing is in my town, its small so everyone knows everyone, its a bit like albert square in eastenders lol, all my friend now hundreds of people,

    but becase of having no confidence, i didnt speak to no one for years...and ive noticed now im 31......i dont no anybody, but ive noticed everbody knows everyone, i feel like a complete idiot walkiing down the street, now knowing anyone,

    ok now at 31, i look much better than i did before, ive gained weight, ive got a good built from weight training, beard all tidy, hair styled up, ive started talking too people, girls dont call me ugly anymore,

    only problem is the damage has been done, only girls ive ever spoke too is the ones i went out with. i have no confidence to talk to any girls...i still get nervous when talking too poeple, but its not as bad as it was before, i have improved on the communicating part, i have no job, because i wont talk to no one and ill leave because i feel uncomfortbale with people looking at me weird...

    ive noticed talkign to people one on one is fine, but in groups, im silent im too nervous

    so now i have no grades
    hardly worked a day in my life
    no car - but im doing lesson now...
    no friends
    no life - this happened after i got married, which happens i guess

    the question is am i crazy...was it the girls calling me ugly, developing all the
    diesease, and not being able to get work, and being bullied all my life

    is that what has effected me from talking to people? or do you think ive got
    some mental issue, and that maybe the reason why i am the way i am...

    o and im pritty dumb as well, so if my english litearature is crap, and dont makle sense you know why
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    (Original post by joeyallen)
    my life so far....growing up i always quiet, never spoke a word..
    so anyway

    started primary school, i got bullied,
    went to secondary school, i got bullied

    failed gcse because of the bullying...then when i left school at age 16!! i developed every diesease!!!

    in the year 2000 - developed acne
    2001 - colitis
    2002 - hayfeather
    2003 - asthma
    in 2003 i couldnt walk, i had fluid in my leg for 6 months, and had to have
    surgery
    to remove it??

    also since day one i was too skinny, i was weighing at 8 and a half stone!!! so going back to college days...when i was 16 and studying, after all the
    bullying, and failing school my confidence, self estem, my motivation, all gone...

    im actually scared to go out the house because of my acne, i would walk down
    the street in fear, if i spoke to anyone i would be sweating,!! and i couldnt look
    the person in the eye, and i could tell the person knows something is up, because they look uncomfortable....

    i use to look like wolverine... from x men! beard hair covering my hole face!!!,
    and i use to have my hair crushed under a hat, which i use to wear 24/7. What made matters worse..., every girl under the sun when i was 16 up until i was 27 - 28 called me ugly, which made my confidence even worse!!

    o and to make matter worse in the last 15 years of my life....ive had 4 jobs
    3 from agencies,
    and i have failed 12 interviews, which has destroyed my confidence even more
    and this is why ive not applied for other jobs, too scared of embarassing myself
    in the interview...

    in all of those jobs last about 3 weeks each!!!
    i left all of them because i was too scared to talk too people, they would look at me weirdly..... i can even hear them talking about me, saying whats up with this guy??

    so anyway going back, ill mention the good points...

    Now im not sure how i did it, but i use to meet my sister after work, and her
    freind was there, she told my sister she liked me, i end up dating her for 6
    years??? i couldnt belive my luck, no lie when i say this she looks exackly like
    alicia kieys, curvy body good personality??? how the hell did she like someone
    like me i have no idea???

    even her mates, cousins and work mates, said to her hes ugly why the hell you
    with him?? now i have met another girl mixed race, which only lasted 3
    she went back to her ex, and another girl after that, lasted a month, becasue
    she moved away, and now im with my wife off 6 years,

    so somehow i managed to get girls...must be pure luck, but i have to thank my
    1st girlfriend, because if it wasnt for her i would of never had a proper
    relationship.and she made me feel like there is hope, with going out with girls...

    anyway, i have had friends, 6 close friends, which i dont see anymore,
    i have been out on holiday twice, ive been around out and about with my friends
    thank god for that,

    i have done stuff, like going out of town, going camping trips, going go carting, ab sailing, swimming, martial arts, so im happy ive done stuff

    now the thing is in my town, its small so everyone knows everyone, its a bit like albert square in eastenders lol, all my friend now hundreds of people,

    but becase of having no confidence, i didnt speak to no one for years...and ive noticed now im 31......i dont no anybody, but ive noticed everbody knows everyone, i feel like a complete idiot walkiing down the street, now knowing anyone,

    ok now at 31, i look much better than i did before, ive gained weight, ive got a good built from weight training, beard all tidy, hair styled up, ive started talking too people, girls dont call me ugly anymore,

    only problem is the damage has been done, only girls ive ever spoke too is the ones i went out with. i have no confidence to talk to any girls...i still get nervous when talking too poeple, but its not as bad as it was before, i have improved on the communicating part, i have no job, because i wont talk to no one and ill leave because i feel uncomfortbale with people looking at me weird...

    ive noticed talkign to people one on one is fine, but in groups, im silent im too nervous

    so now i have no grades
    hardly worked a day in my life
    no car - but im doing lesson now...
    no friends
    no life - this happened after i got married, which happens i guess

    the question is am i crazy...was it the girls calling me ugly, developing all the
    diesease, and not being able to get work, and being bullied all my life

    is that what has effected me from talking to people? or do you think ive got
    some mental issue, and that maybe the reason why i am the way i am...

    o and im pritty dumb as well, so if my english litearature is crap, and dont makle sense you know why
    You're not crazy, don't think that way. You would do best visiting your GP and explaining how you feel to them. We can't say whether or not you have a mental health issue or not. If you do have something going on, they'll be able to get you the right help and refer you to the right people
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    Sounds like you need to build some confidence. As above, go to the gp if you have further concerns.
    I'd advise joining some kind of community group, like amateur drama or a sport. That way you're interacting with more people, and hopefully gaining some social skills
 
 
 
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