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Is he lying? Drunk sex.

Think it's understandable that I want this to stay anonymous....

Last friday I went to a friend of a friend's BBQ - a guy that I've always been a bit iffy about him from the fact the first time we met he was trying to feel me up whilst talking about how amazing his girlfriend at the time was. Anyway, I got horribly drunk, and can't remember anything of the night past him trying to grope me when I said about having a bad back and me moving away. I woke up on Saturday morning to multiple texts from friends asking if I was alright - and since I couldn't remember anything I replied to which I was informed that I'd had sex with him. Thing is, story from my friends is that he was hardly drunk, that he blocked the door to the room so that people couldn't get in and was generally pretty much of a ******. But he sent a text saying "about the other night, we were both really drunk, can we try to remain friends" so not I wrote him an email explaining stuff my friends had said, and that I was pretty annoyed he hadn't had the decency to clear up what happened between us when I texted him. Basically, the whole point to this is that he then claimed that it was because he couldn't remember the night himself, but I was wondering if that can even be true, as I would've thought it would have been possible of him to manage to have sex if he was that drunk he couldn't remember it. Basically I need to know if he's lying to me, I could handle drunken sex with someone who knows I don't like him sober if he was genuinely drunk, but it seems like he's lying about how drunk he was which is the bit that's pissing me off - I wouldn't really object to it if he just said he didn't clear it up because he felt awkward texting me to say we'd had sex, it's just the bull**** to avoid looking like he's taken advantage makes it feel like he feels guilty and is covering it up, which bothers me.

So yeah, if a guy was sober enough to manage to have sex, is it possible/likely that he couldn't remember it in the morning?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I've managed to have sex with someone whilst very drunk before, and I didn't remember parts of it in the morning.

My experience was much more mutual than yours sounds though... We were both good friends who were into each other anyway, and neither of us forced ourself onto the other.

Him saying that he was really drunk sounds like a way for him to seem as though he wasn't taking advantage. If your friends say that he wasn't drunk and that he was being a bit of an arse, then it sounds like he did take advantage.

Reply 2

Fluent in Lies

2

Anonymous

I wouldn't really object to it if he just said he didn't clear it up

I know, how much effort is it?! All it takes is a little bit of tissue...

Reply 3

Ozboy82

For me memory loss when drinking isn't so much related to how much I drink, but rather how fast I drink. From what you're saying he's full of ****. Remember, you didn't like him for a reason and your friends are your friends for a reason. That being said I once had sex while under the influence and was unable to remember it. I also know three other people who have had drunk sex and don't remember it.

Reply 4

dh00001

16

ive managed to have sex whilst completly plastered and remember little of it. it could be possible.
playing devils advocate but only he really knows how drunk he was, some people dont look drunk when they really are.
only advice i can offer is find out if you used a condom.

Reply 5

Syracuse315

Anonymous

"I got horribly drunk, and can't remember anything of the night past him trying to grope me when I said about having a bad back and me moving away."

"Basically, the whole point to this is that he then claimed that it was because he couldn't remember the night himself, but I was wondering if that can even be true, as I would've thought it would have been possible of him to manage to have sex if he was that drunk he couldn't remember it."

It sounds like it is possible to have sex drunk and not remember it, but I still wouldnt trust him.

Reply 6

dementedbunny

11

you'd better make sure whether he had sex with you or not... if he did, he might've not used a condom and there could be a chance that you're pregnant.

why don't you approach him in this way? tell him that it's very important for you to know because of this and perhaps you might generate a better response from him.

Reply 7

charliehelyes

its not just hes fault, you shouldnt of had got that drunk in the first place, people need to take responisbility for there own actions aswell.

Reply 8

*Katie*

1

charliehelyes

its not just hes fault, you shouldnt of had got that drunk in the first place, people need to take responisbility for there own actions aswell.

The OP isn't annoyed about the drunken sex, the question is whether he knew they had had sex and didn't mention it.

Anon

"about the other night, we were both really drunk, can we try to remain friends"

I don't trust him. Why would he text saying this if he thought he'd just groped you a bit? Especially as he had already felt you up whilst having a gf and thought nothing of it? So I don't believe that he didn't know.

I don't know if I've confused the order of the events (you sent the e-mail after you got the text message from him & your friends, right?) but I wouldn't trust him. I'd stay clear of him. Or watch the amount your drink. Or get your friends to keep an eye on you when you go out in social situations when he's there.

Reply 9

Barny

17

So hang on a minute, you got so drunk that you couldn't remember having sex yet you're asking whether or not its possible for someone to do so? I think you've answered your own questions. And before you say "is it possible for a man" - yes, it is.

Reply 10

arminvanpite

14

Syracuse315

It sounds like it is possible to have sex drunk and not remember it, but I still wouldnt trust him.

I'm with you on this one.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

x.narb.x

So hang on a minute, you got so drunk that you couldn't remember having sex yet you're asking whether or not its possible for someone to do so? I think you've answered your own questions. And before you say "is it possible for a man" - yes, it is.

I was only asking because in PHSE lessons they'd said otherwise.
I totally take responsibility by the way, people who said I'm not - I've always had that stance on it of you drink, your fault, I'm not changing it because it happened to me. I just was wondering if he's trustworthy, because if he's lying then he's not worth staying friends with. Honesty from him and in time things could go back to the old ways.

Thanks for everyone's opinions on this. I'm definitely going to be careful I watch how much I drink in future, and I would never properly trust him again, not when there's doubt and stuff.

Reply 12

Profesh

20

Moving on to things that actually matter: why have you not taken the 'morning-after' pill?

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

I have.

Reply 14

username47781

20

Well the guys an ass for feeling you up when he already has a girlfriend, but you should have stopped him.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Rock Fan

Well the guys an ass for feeling you up when he already has a girlfriend, but you should have stopped him.

the time when he had a girlfriend i did - with a bit of help from a friend. hence "tried."

Reply 16

Profesh

20

Anonymous

I have.

Good show.

Reply 17

Cirsium

19

Does he know you have though :rolleyes:

I would send him a message along the lines of wtf did we use a condom? If he knows the answer then you know whether or not he remembers it :wink:

Reply 18

Cirsium

19

x.narb.x

I think you've answered your own questions.

This may be me being naive or just the fact that I've never had sex with a woman :rolleyes:

but while male loss of altitude is fairly commonly advertised I wasn't aware it was that common for women to find themselves unable to have sex while drunk?

Is he lying? Drunk sex.

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