The Student Room Group

seeing ex happy with his new girlfriend... how do you get over this?

anon because it's embarrassing and quite pathetic of me and i don't want this to be associated with my account! :frown:

i make a habit of never looking at my ex's myspace page, but saw a few comments from him to other people today. he's been with a new girlfriend (who i always assumed to be just a rebound thing) for a while now, maybe half a year, after our very painful break up (i got dumped because he didn't want to be in a long term relationship... then got with this new girl very quickly after). i glimpsed a photo of them having fun on holiday today, and it really made me feel sad. i've found it very hard to get over him. we don't really speak and i've always made a point of cutting him out of my life as much as possible in order to get over him, so i find it really hard to see things like this...

i suppose what's made it worse is that i always tell myself that this girl means nothing to him, she's just a fling, he's just using her to get over me, etc etc. i've heard that he's said things behind her back, such as calling her boring, saying that he wants to cheat on her, and that he's considered breaking up with her (this makes me feel a bit better about myself and not so worthless). i know there's no chance of us ever getting back together, but it makes me feel better to hear criticism of her and that their relationship isn't totally peachy. but then it's all contradicted by them going away together within a large group) and seeing them having fun...

how do you cope with this kind of thing? i just want to be over it, and i hate getting upset by this. i feel stupid and like i should be over it. i hate having to avoid half of myspace because i might glimpse him. it's just so hard!
Time is the healer, make yourself busy. At the end of the day he was mean to dump you then go straight off with this other girl, he obviously didn't care. Don't waste your time being upset over him.
rock fan is right. dont waste ur time being upset. been there done that. looking back, it was so silly. just move on. forget about it. dont look at his myspace. easier said than done but the sooner u get over it, the better.
Reply 3
You know what you should do. Just ignore his myspace (not sure how myspace works, can't you remove him as a friend, or something :confused:) and delete his number etc. Eventually you'll find you stop thinking about him as much. I think you need to really try to give up on the notion that he doesn't like his new gf - because it'll really hurt if it turns into a long term relationship. And then you'll be back at square one. Keep yourself busy, and tell yourself that you'll get over him - because you most certainly will.

Posts like this make me relieved that my exes are all too immature to speak to me until I am well and truly glad I'm shot of them :p:
Reply 4
Mind your own business.
Erasing him is a very good idea. I think what you are going through is one of the worst things ever but the others are right, you will move on and you will be happier than you were with him. Just think, one day in the future you can think about his girlfriend and think "she's with that looser still, someone help that poor girl"
Can't you set Myspace to 'ignore' like on Facebook? If that's an option, do it.
Reply 7
I_am_the_mob
Erasing him is a very good idea. I think what you are going through is one of the worst things ever but the others are right, you will move on and you will be happier than you were with him. Just think, one day in the future you can think about his girlfriend and think "she's with that looser still, someone help that poor girl"


i do already think that quite a bit. i feel a bit sorry for her, i know that he'll mess her about. but you and others are right, i need to stop thinking about it at all. i can't sit about thinking, "he's going to hurt her, he doesn't even like her" etc etc, because i'll just get even more hurt if they end up being together for ages...

and i do ignore him as much as i can, but i can't really press "block" or whatever on myspace, as i do have to see him (in a large group of friends) from time to time and it would be weird. it is unavoidable for me to completely block him out. i have deleted all his photos, his phone number, taken him off my top friends etc. and i never look at his page anyway. ever.

i think the "mind your own business" comment was a bit harsh. i am trying to as much as possible - how is it my fault if he goes on holiday with my friends and i see snaps of him by accident? it just shocked me, that's all, and i chose to come on here and vent my feelings, instead of doing anything silly!
Reply 8
with my ex it was like that, but not with myspace.
someone told me not long after we broke up that he was 'playing the field', and that hurt. it hurt to think of him with so many girls. of course, that also makes him a complete **** but meh.
i thought there was a glimmer of hope when he did set up a myspace account just to talk to me (i'd blocked his emails and msn), eventhough he just said 'so much for being friends eh?'.
it was a few months later when i joined facebook when i saw a picture of him laughing with some girl. i knew he had a new girlfriend at that point, and that really hurt. it was just the initial shock that he was happy with someone else. he always told me that our breakup was hard for him (bull**** in my opinion) and i had hoped for a long time that we would get back together. after seeing that picture, well, after the initial shock, it didn't bother me. i closed my facebook account though because i didn't want him contacting me.
it was hard, but the thing was i had found someone else who i was even more happy with. i'm guessing that my ex would have reacted the same way if he saw me with someone else, despite telling me to 'go and find someone better' blah blah.

i heard just before they broke up from uni, that he had his ass dumped by his girlfriend. that makes me smile. it shouldn't, i know, but now i hope he knows how it feels to be unloved by the one person you love most in the world.

op, once you find someone, and your ex sees you with them, no doubt he'll have a hint of jealousy too. i wouldn't worry about it.
Reply 9
pumpkin7
with my ex it was like that, but not with myspace.
someone told me not long after we broke up that he was 'playing the field', and that hurt. it hurt to think of him with so many girls. of course, that also makes him a complete **** but meh.
i thought there was a glimmer of hope when he did set up a myspace account just to talk to me (i'd blocked his emails and msn), eventhough he just said 'so much for being friends eh?'.
it was a few months later when i joined facebook when i saw a picture of him laughing with some girl. i knew he had a new girlfriend at that point, and that really hurt. it was just the initial shock that he was happy with someone else. he always told me that our breakup was hard for him (bull**** in my opinion) and i had hoped for a long time that we would get back together. after seeing that picture, well, after the initial shock, it didn't bother me. i closed my facebook account though because i didn't want him contacting me.
it was hard, but the thing was i had found someone else who i was even more happy with. i'm guessing that my ex would have reacted the same way if he saw me with someone else, despite telling me to 'go and find someone better' blah blah.

i heard just before they broke up from uni, that he had his ass dumped by his girlfriend. that makes me smile. it shouldn't, i know, but now i hope he knows how it feels to be unloved by the one person you love most in the world.

op, once you find someone, and your ex sees you with them, no doubt he'll have a hint of jealousy too. i wouldn't worry about it.


thanks for this. i know how you feel exactly. i do want to find someone else as i've given myself a long time (6 months) to get over the break up. i purposefully didn't jump into a rebound relationship because i knew it would be bad for me, and i also haven't really fancied anybody since then... but i am starting to feel that if i got a new boyfriend, it would be on its own merits and not just a waste of time. i'm off to uni soon (far far away from my ex) and i'd love to meet somebody there.

i suppose it is just hard knowing that he went straight into a rebound relationship, which are often just to boost self esteem and not really because the person is really into this new person, but that it worked out for him despite this. he's happy by the looks of it (despite talking **** behind her back to my friends) and he probably likes her a lot more than he liked me, for all i know. but i need to stop torturing myself with these thoughts - who does it benefit? certainly not me. :frown:
Don't worry, you'll get over this :smile: For aaages I was totally devastated every time I saw a guy I'd been with who ended things by getting with a new girl walking around looking cutesy with his new girlfriend, I avoided half of college for months in case he was there, and panicked every time i saw the new girl to the point where it was really affecting my life. I thought i'd never be able to see him, or her, without feeling pain and anger. But now, I barely register either of them, I actually think the new gf is a really nice girl! One day you really will wake up and you will be ok with this, till then just like everyone else has said, and you already know, just try to ignore the things that make you unhappy, give yourself space from the two of them, and in time all will be good. xx
Jeez this was written in 2007 so I'm hoping by a long shot that you can still reply to me, I'm basically in you're situation, same age as you were then now, it's been 6 months since the breakup etc etc got a new girlfriend even though we broke up because of reasons of him not being able to really have a girlfriend because he's going to uni abroad for 4 years!! slap in the face really! I love google and all I've been trying to Google is about people finally getting over their ex when they think they won't be able to....sooo I was wondering if you have any advice you'd have given yourself looking back at this breakup you had in 2007 that'll help me? Like did you finally get over him, and do you look back at it now and laugh? As I was saying I doubt you will even get this but I'm hoping haha??