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Did I disrespect her watch

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    So this night, a friend of mine, let's call him Em, invited me to a night out at a bar, which was organised by his co-worker, we'll call her Al. I saw this as an opportunity to get laid or get a date, as I don't have a big social group(Just me and Em) and I don't do too many social activites, especially ones involving both men and women.
    When me and Em went to the bar, Al introduced me to her friends they were a group of 5 to 6 girls, including one, call her Za. I managed to talk more to Za while she was dancing with one of her friends, next to our table.
    We had to go through the loud music while screaming as much as we could to understand each other. I tried to persuade her into dancing with me, she refused, I remember her saying she was from Los Angeles and she was doing some modeling, she also said that she was going to leave London the next day, thats when I thought, "we won't see each other again, she not bringing up anything interesting into the conversation, so I might as well get straight to the point", I asked "since it's your last night, how about if you and me get to you place for some fun", she just laughed and started gossiping to her friends and stuff like that. I told Em about it and although he didn't look pissed off and I couldn't hear his response, the body language said it all, "I won't have done that, if I were you".
    Even after I left her and said my goodbyes to everyone when it was time to go, to my surprise, she hugged me while telling me that I should google "how to respect women", I basically responded "I don't need to".
    As we were far away from the crowd, Em sided with Za, going as far as using him saying the same thing to my sister as an analogy. He then mentioned that it could have lead to a blaming cycle, where Za could have gone of on Al and Al could have gone of on him, just for my presence and boldness to test whether my approach would work. Because of the smile on his face, I couldn't tell whether he was serious or not.
    What hurt me the most about the confrontation we had, was when he told me off for my approach style, saying "that's the reason why you're single". I've been hanging out with this guy for more than 6 years and he always kept on telling me," it's your approach, it's your approach", yet none of the stuff he got me to gave me any good results as far as getting girl is concern, so if he can't help me, why shouldn't I help myself?.
    First of all, that's the first time I'd ever gone straight to the point with a girl like that, also, I've been in situations where I've invested so much time talking to a girl I just met and getting her number only to have her ignore my first message, I approached a girl whom I figured out she had a man and she wasn't ashamed to show me, meaning that she wanted to friendzone me, despite the fact that I had to text her 4 times before she sent me her 1st text. I've been advised "never tell a woman that you want sex" and at the same time I have been advised "If you won't let her know you want it, she won't give it to you", as much as I know their are girls who go to bars with no intentions of one-night stands, I hear stories about girls having sex with guys they just at bars, shamelessly.
    Given all this, I don't see why one moment where I went straight to the point during an approach to a girl, portrays why I'm single and "disrespectful" to women.
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    (Original post by kenni12)
    So this night, a friend of mine, let's call him Em, invited me to a night out at a bar, which was organised by his co-worker, we'll call her Al. I saw this as an opportunity to get laid or get a date, as I don't have a big social group(Just me and Em) and I don't do too many social activites, especially ones involving both men and women.
    When me and Em went to the bar, Al introduced me to her friends they were a group of 5 to 6 girls, including one, call her Za. I managed to talk more to Za while she was dancing with one of her friends, next to our table.
    We had to go through the loud music while screaming as much as we could to understand each other. I tried to persuade her into dancing with me, she refused, I remember her saying she was from Los Angeles and she was doing some modeling, she also said that she was going to leave London the next day, thats when I thought, "we won't see each other again, she not bringing up anything interesting into the conversation, so I might as well get straight to the point", I asked "since it's your last night, how about if you and me get to you place for some fun", she just laughed and started gossiping to her friends and stuff like that. I told Em about it and although he didn't look pissed off and I couldn't hear his response, the body language said it all, "I won't have done that, if I were you".
    Even after I left her and said my goodbyes to everyone when it was time to go, to my surprise, she hugged me while telling me that I should google "how to respect women", I basically responded "I don't need to".
    As we were far away from the crowd, Em sided with Za, going as far as using him saying the same thing to my sister as an analogy. He then mentioned that it could have lead to a blaming cycle, where Za could have gone of on Al and Al could have gone of on him, just for my presence and boldness to test whether my approach would work. Because of the smile on his face, I couldn't tell whether he was serious or not.
    What hurt me the most about the confrontation we had, was when he told me off for my approach style, saying "that's the reason why you're single". I've been hanging out with this guy for more than 6 years and he always kept on telling me," it's your approach, it's your approach", yet none of the stuff he got me to gave me any good results as far as getting girl is concern, so if he can't help me, why shouldn't I help myself?.
    First of all, that's the first time I'd ever gone straight to the point with a girl like that, also, I've been in situations where I've invested so much time talking to a girl I just met and getting her number only to have her ignore my first message, I approached a girl whom I figured out she had a man and she wasn't ashamed to show me, meaning that she wanted to friendzone me, despite the fact that I had to text her 4 times before she sent me her 1st text. I've been advised "never tell a woman that you want sex" and at the same time I have been advised "If you won't let her know you want it, she won't give it to you", as much as I know their are girls who go to bars with no intentions of one-night stands, I hear stories about girls having sex with guys they just at bars, shamelessly.
    Given all this, I don't see why one moment where I went straight to the point during an approach to a girl, portrays why I'm single and "disrespectful" to women.

    Sorry for the late reply but i was having problems trying to get into my account in my old name Judge Judy and still could not get into my account so i had to register under a new name and forgot to reply.
    You did and you did'nt is my weird reply and I will tell you why, it's because some women will be offended and some will be flattered and go back for a one night stand but you don't know which one will like it so i can say it's probably best not to say it at all. I think next time just ask a woman on a date and don't mention anything about just having fun even if she said she is going on holiday or already in a relationship.

    There are a lot of men who say this to girls/women and get lucky but their idiots and the women who do this are very insecure, not very confident and give these men power to call them and other women ****s.
    I used to go into my local cash converters and 2 of the sales assistants would suggest going on a date and i said no then they said well we can just have fun instead which really means sex. I still said no but i wish i had said i don't like men saying that to me. I don't know why men think that if i said no to a date why on earth would I want to meet up with them for fun instead ? Their stupid and they need a lesson in how to treat women.

    But i really wanted to say that I hate men who say things like that to me becase I do feel disrespected and it really hurts if i think men only want to use me for one night stands or say they just want fun. It disgusts me and puts me off men but that's my hang up. But it makes me feel like i am not good enough for a relationship or worthless, I also hate men who whisper sexy as i walk past them. This really pisses me off and makes my blood boil.
    Don't men know how to just say hello to women and be respectful ? Men are the worst one's for shouting out sexy all the time. I hate it. My usual response is just to tell them to **** off. I don't understand why they think it's a compliment.
    I wish mother's would teach all boys/men how to talk to girls/women properly.
    I wish i had the balls to tell men off and tell them to google how to respect women like that girl told you because you needed to be told. If she had just smiled and walked off you would never know her true feelings

    If men just want fun/ one night stands they should pay an escort because there's nothing wrong with that infact go to the thread called Going to see escort but really have no choice, what would you do ?
    Going to escorts is probaly cheaper than having a girlfriend because with a girlfriend you still have to buy her drinks, meals, presents, etc, etc

    Also if you want one night stands then save up to go on holiday to Ibiza where the girls lose all their inhibitions there.

    Despite everthing i wrote if i am coming across as angry i am not and i am not angry with you because it's not your fault as you were never taught this and your friend is just trying to help you but maybe he went about it the wrong way by making you feel bad for trying. But just because other men treat women like that it does'nt mean you should too.
    If you treat women in a certain way like just wanting to use them for fun it will come back on you, eg, when you meet a woman you really like she will do the same to you. If a woman has sex with you the same night and you end up in a relationship you won't trust her and you will become paranoid and think she is doing the same with other men just because she did it with you the first night.

    But your friend was wrong to say it's no wonder you're single but i think it came out the wrong way and he just said it beause he was a little pissed off that he would get that reputaion because you're his friend.
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    Because women are not sex dolls and should not just be used because you want to get laid?? Like the user above said there are escorts available for that. Its rude and disrespecting to basically say to a woman "I want sex and I don't care about any other factors including if I ever see you again". He's right in the sense you won't get a girlfriend with that attitude but it seems that isn't your goal here anyway.
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    (Original post by kenni12)
    So this night, a friend of mine, let's call him Em, invited me to a night out at a bar, which was organised by his co-worker, we'll call her Al. I saw this as an opportunity to get laid or get a date, as I don't have a big social group(Just me and Em) and I don't do too many social activites, especially ones involving both men and women.
    When me and Em went to the bar, Al introduced me to her friends they were a group of 5 to 6 girls, including one, call her Za. I managed to talk more to Za while she was dancing with one of her friends, next to our table.
    We had to go through the loud music while screaming as much as we could to understand each other. I tried to persuade her into dancing with me, she refused, I remember her saying she was from Los Angeles and she was doing some modeling, she also said that she was going to leave London the next day, thats when I thought, "we won't see each other again, she not bringing up anything interesting into the conversation, so I might as well get straight to the point", I asked "since it's your last night, how about if you and me get to you place for some fun", she just laughed and started gossiping to her friends and stuff like that. I told Em about it and although he didn't look pissed off and I couldn't hear his response, the body language said it all, "I won't have done that, if I were you".
    Even after I left her and said my goodbyes to everyone when it was time to go, to my surprise, she hugged me while telling me that I should google "how to respect women", I basically responded "I don't need to".
    As we were far away from the crowd, Em sided with Za, going as far as using him saying the same thing to my sister as an analogy. He then mentioned that it could have lead to a blaming cycle, where Za could have gone of on Al and Al could have gone of on him, just for my presence and boldness to test whether my approach would work. Because of the smile on his face, I couldn't tell whether he was serious or not.
    What hurt me the most about the confrontation we had, was when he told me off for my approach style, saying "that's the reason why you're single". I've been hanging out with this guy for more than 6 years and he always kept on telling me," it's your approach, it's your approach", yet none of the stuff he got me to gave me any good results as far as getting girl is concern, so if he can't help me, why shouldn't I help myself?.
    First of all, that's the first time I'd ever gone straight to the point with a girl like that, also, I've been in situations where I've invested so much time talking to a girl I just met and getting her number only to have her ignore my first message, I approached a girl whom I figured out she had a man and she wasn't ashamed to show me, meaning that she wanted to friendzone me, despite the fact that I had to text her 4 times before she sent me her 1st text. I've been advised "never tell a woman that you want sex" and at the same time I have been advised "If you won't let her know you want it, she won't give it to you", as much as I know their are girls who go to bars with no intentions of one-night stands, I hear stories about girls having sex with guys they just at bars, shamelessly.
    Given all this, I don't see why one moment where I went straight to the point during an approach to a girl, portrays why I'm single and "disrespectful" to women.

    Another thing you need to know is that you do not have to meet women in clubs,
    you can meet them anywhere like walking down the street, on a train or coming out of the train station, at a bus stop or on a bus, supermarket, shopping malls, library, park, cinema, etc, etc
    If you went to a coffee shop or buffet restaurant and saw a woman sitting on her own you can ask to join her. She might actually want the company
    I have always been approached by men in all these different ways and as long as a man is genuine and asks for a date then i don't mind because it is a great way to meet people and also a great story to tell if you end up in a relationship through that way. But i don't like men who approach me on the street to ask for fun.
    Their pigs.

    Try striking up a conversation with a woman on the street that you like the look of this way as it does actually work and only ask them for a date don't mention anything about just wanting to have fun. When men have said that to me i am so dissappointed and i always so no.
    You can just start off by asking for directions or a local supermarket or nearest newsagents to top up your oyster card even if you already know where it is or ask for the time then just ask them for their number. Don't ask if they are single first as i always lie and say i already have a boyfriend if i don't fancy the man.
    I met a man this way 6 months ago who approached me on the street pretending he was lost and was not sure if he's in the right area. I was really flattered and he was so respectful and did not say anything ridiculous like saying he only wants fun or calling me sexy.

    You should practise this yourself and even if you get lots of knock backs that is part of the process of asking women out. So as long as you are prepared for it you won't be upset, just move on and ask someone else out.
    If you have not succeeded in getting a girl in a club or bar while you're still inside you continue to ask other women or wait outside the club and ask women when they are waitingoutside or waiting for a cab or a night bus home as they will be equally dissappointed they did not meet anyone inside the club and maybe you did not see each other before.
    If you succeed in meeting a woman like this or on your own you can laugh in your friends face for saying no wonder you're single.

    Many Years ago a friend used to tell me how he offers to buy girls drinks in bars and after they get the drink they just walk off. So i told him not to offer to buy any drinks, just ask for their number straight away and if the girl says yes then offer to buy a drink or if she says no then you don't offer to buy a drink and this will save men lots of money and time. Just ask their name, where they work or go to uni then ask for their number. You don't need any cheesey chat up lines or try to make them laugh because i really don't want a man to try to make me laugh i care more that they are respectful and actually ask for a date and not fun/one night stand.
    I never accept a drink from any man if i am not attracted to them or if i know i do not want to go on a date with them.
    Another good way for men to save money is to ask the girl you like if you can talk to her privately but just a few feet away from her friends that way you can offer to go to the bar with her to buy her a drink then you don't have to buy her friends a drink too as this will become quite expensive.

    Or go one step further and look up modelling agencies on google and go and stand near the door and ask these women out as they are coming in and out, you can even offer to look for the address of the job they were sent to as this is very stressful for them worrying about how to find the address and they might want help and it's a good way to get to know each other and afterwards you can offer to take them out for a drink but don't offer to pay for their cab to get there, they can pay themselves as they earn lots of money.
    The reason i suggested modelling agencies was because men are silly and think that they are not good enough to ask models out and assume just because a woman is beautiful or a model that they have no chance so this is just a challenge and just to try your luck. Or do something different other than waiting to meet women in clubs as that does not always work for most people
    But remember to always be respectful because if a woman only wanted fun some women are bold enough to tell you this themselves.
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    So, your post is pretty difficult to read, but my conclusion is that you're a morality free zone and you need to have a hard think and resolve to be a better person.
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    You shouldn't be so direct, if it was me I wouldn't have such an amazing opinion of you after that.
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    Yeah, I would've felt disrespected after that. I'd apologise at some point if you can and move on, learning for next time. It's definitely way too direct
 
 
 
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