Would you ever date someone who's unemployed?

    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Just found out the guy I was supposed to be going on a date with is unemployed....
    Would it put you off if someone you're dating or want to date is unemployed?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Yes i would unless they were just incredibly lazy and couldn't be bothered to find a job.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by UWS)
    Yes i would unless they were just incredibly lazy and couldn't be bothered to find a job.
    What if in their early 20s and unemployed
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If you really like the person then it shouldn't stop you. good luck
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What if in their early 20s and unemployed
    No difference. If they tried/wanted to get a job then that's fine, but if they just didn't care and were being lazy then nope.
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    So is that the main reason you don't want to go on a date with him? [I read your other post]. If that's the only reason then I think it is incredibly shallow of you, tbh.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by iishai)
    If you really like the person then it shouldn't stop you. good luck
    It's not something I can get over easily though. I was brought up my whole life with my mum telling me yes you should support yourself and earn your own, but to always date a man who had a higher degree to you or earnt more than you, as like a power thing. And even for me now, a guy who has power is really attractive to me, whereas now I've found out this guy is unemployed, even though before that I quite liked him, now I'm completely put off and I can't help it
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    It depends if the person is actively looking then i wouldnt have a problem there are many reasons why people are unemployed. If they weren't bothered and wasting their time playing on their ps4 then i wouldn't want to be with someone so lazy who would probably expect me to pay for him all the time.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just found out the guy I was supposed to be going on a date with is unemployed....
    Would it put you off if someone you're dating or want to date is unemployed?
    As a woman you should always date someone on the same level as you or above. Men get jealous if a woman is earning more because it makes them feel inadequate (especially in a marriage), this was why my parent's marriage broke down.

    Don't go on a date with him if he is unemployed. He is not prepared for a relationship. People should have their sh*t together before bringing another person into their lives.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by markova21)
    So is that the main reason you don't want to go on a date with him? [I read your other post]. If that's the only reason then I think it is incredibly shallow of you, tbh.
    I was already getting cold feet about the date then this morning we talked a bit more and he just mentioned he was unemployed which was like the straw that broke the camels back for me.
    But the thing is just a week ago I liked him so much and was even imagining a future with him, but I think I may have just liked the idea of him... :/
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I wouldn't date someone if they didn't have a job, unless they're a full time student or recently graduated then I'd give him a chance.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by catholicgirl)
    As a woman you should always date someone on the same level as you or above. Men get jealous if a woman is earning more because it makes them feel inadequate (especially in a marriage), this was why my parent's marriage broke down.

    Don't go on a date with him if he is unemployed. He is not prepared for a relationship. People should have their sh*t together before bringing another person into their lives.
    Omg exactly. This is exactly the idea my mum brought me up with, she's like you don't want to be the one caring for the man do you? He needs to be the same level or above you
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Ishax)
    I wouldn't date someone if they didn't have a job, unless they're a full time student or recently graduated then I'd give him a chance.
    He's recently graduated but even that's putting me off
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not something I can get over easily though. I was brought up my whole life with my mum telling me yes you should support yourself and earn your own, but to always date a man who had a higher degree to you or earnt more than you, as like a power thing. And even for me now, a guy who has power is really attractive to me, whereas now I've found out this guy is unemployed, even though before that I quite liked him, now I'm completely put off and I can't help it
    Maybe see how it goes, you never know. Don't worry about this one person if its not what you thought it would be. *cheesy quote* There are many more fish in the sea.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Depends on whether they were long term unemployed and didn't want to change that, or if they were just taking a short term break between jobs.
    Also depends on what they are doing with all their free time.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just found out the guy I was supposed to be going on a date with is unemployed....
    Would it put you off if someone you're dating or want to date is unemployed?
    You're going on a date with him, lovely, not moving in with him. Why should it put you off if he's unemployed?
    There are many reasons why people are unemployed, and, believe it or not,it isn't always because they are feckless and lazy. If you like him, you go out with him and see how it works out. X
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Yeah, if they weren't making an effort to get work. Also, if they were just a full-time student or something.
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was already getting cold feet about the date then this morning we talked a bit more and he just mentioned he was unemployed which was like the straw that broke the camels back for me.
    But the thing is just a week ago I liked him so much and was even imagining a future with him, but I think I may have just liked the idea of him... :/
    Then in that case I think you need to contact him ASAP and cancel the date and explain that you're very sorry to let him down like this, but you have changed your mind and don't want to meet up with him, either now or in the future. Reiterate how sorry you are to let him down and wish him all the best for his future. If you say something like that ,telling him you wish him well, he will know your decision is pretty final. Yes, he will probably be a bit pissed off with you, but considering you've never even met, he'll get over it pretty quickly.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's recently graduated but even that's putting me off
    Well, then I wouldn't be so harsh on him as he's just recently graduated. It takes time to find a job, it's not that easy. What did he study? It's not like he's been sitting on his ass doing nothing, I'm sure he's actively looking for jobs since he's went to university (I hope anyway).
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    What if they've just come back from travelling, if they've just graduated, if they've been made redundant? What if they were a contractor who had just finished their assignment, if they've been ill or if they've just relocated to a new city? You aren't automatically a lazy scrounger just for being unemployed.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Omg exactly. This is exactly the idea my mum brought me up with, she's like you don't want to be the one caring for the man do you? He needs to be the same level or above you
    I will never understand why women constantly go on about a gender pay gap, equality in the workplace etc then come out with things like this. For our parents generation it was perfectly normal for the Dad to work whilst the mum worked part time or didn't work at all - literally everyone I knew at school had their parents in this situation. That is not how the world works anymore.
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: September 21, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Today on TSR
Poll
Would you ever go to a non Russell Group uni?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.