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    I'm 19 and I'm just so sick of my family and the area I live in and this whole week (especially today) has just got me wanting to escape.

    I'm from a muslim background (but I really don't identify with Islam much), today my mum wanted me to go with her and to read some quran over my dads grave. I refused and said that I didn't want to go and I would prep some of the food for eid tommorrow (the real reason was that I didn't want to stand over his grave and read something I didn't believe in).. When she got back, the food I prepped wasn't to her standards and she said that daughters had to work quicker in the kitchen. I said no, not just daughters, the boys have to do their fair share too. She then ranted about how I'm going to stuggle in life when I'm older cause of my big mouth etc.

    Later on that day, I went to my local shop and I saw some girls from secondary school (we never got on). We literally walked past each other as if we were strangers but I noticed the *****y looks and the smirks on their faces.

    And rn I've been staring at the wall for half an hour thinking about how I want to escape. I hate my family. I hate my area and the people in it. The women here will tut about how tight a girls top is but at the same time her daughter is sucking a guy off behind her back in the park. I also want to take my hijab off (finally convinced my mum) but I'm scared that everyones going to brand me a ****.

    I was meant to move away for uni (I start in september) but I didn't get into my firm. I'm now going to commute from home (before anyone says I can live on the uni campus, its literally 10 mins away from my house so theres no point plus I won't be able to do much there cause everyone I know is in the surrounding areas)..I called up Cass Business School on friday to ask if they could accept me through clearing there but they said I was too late cause I already had a clearing place which would take me at least 2 weeks to be released from and term would have started by then.

    Wtf do I do guys? Everything and everyone is pissing me off. I just want a fresh start. To move away and build a life on my own terms but I feel as if I'm stuck here for at least the next 3 years.
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    I don't think taking off your hijab is bad at all, I've seen a muslim girl stop wearing hers and she seemed much more confident.

    I can't really give you advice on uni and stuff, but maybe talk about wanting to leave the area and start anew with your mom? I don't know what they are like but for example my father grew up as a christian and hated going to church so he wrote a letter to my grandparents saying why he didn't believe in the religion and also quoting from the bible and reading all of it, and then they agreed to let him stop going.

    But maybe plan ahead and find more options for yourself. Maybe you had a bad day but it might not be so bad after a while. Maybe you need just a change? Even if you go off and start anew it doesn't mean it will make everything better in your life. It might even make it harder.
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    Wow.... you are really going through a tough patch. I am not Muslim so I can't offer advice but it does seem to me that you should accept that this year will be at home and make the best of a difficult situation; but immediately start planning to transfer to a different uni for next fall. Take your energy and put it towards your study and make the grades you need to transfer. You sound like you need a totally fresh start. That benefits everyone on occasion. It is understandable why you feel the way you do. Good Luck.
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    Tell your Mum to go **** her self (sorry about swearing) BUT I am sick and tired of how women are expected to domestic chores in Asian culture. They all can piss off, we live in a western country thankfully. You have more rights here.

    Why are women so undermined? They should be more grateful for is, many Asian women work full time have children and manage their housework. Oh, that's because Men are too special and they're a little snowflake. You keep your big mouth, I have a big mouth aswell. Grooms family usually expect their daughter in law to be quiet and do whatever they say (be tolerant). Oh go **** yourself lol. Stupid backwards mentality!

    Women leave their family (parents and siblings) to move in with husbands family and look after them, change her surname and bear his children which are going to have his name anyway. (Takes two to make a baby, but woman are never credited for what they do). Oh and if it's not a boy, wait for hell to break loose. (Thankfully, my family isn't like that).

    If my potential husbands family is like that, they're just asking to get slapped honestly. I'm definitely not doing the house work or anything, if my husband doesn't contribute. 50/50, I don't give a ****.

    Just because she thought one girl is a "****" or whatever in her eyes, doesn't mean men can't be ****s? Double standards much.

    Sorry about the long rant, concerning your hijab.. Take it off if you want to. That's your decision to make. I've seen a lot of Muslim girls without hijab and I don't view them any differently. It's all about good character and inner beauty.

    Edit: Try googling clearing courses tomorrow morning and hopefully something still should be available. What course do you want to study and where about in terms of area? (So I can help you with your search)
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    Take the hijab off. If anyone says anything kindly remind them God says in the Quran that only he judges your deeds, not them and maybe they should be focusing on their own morals instead of yours.
    Bi**y people will be bit**s, ignore it, I know easier said than done but it will make them burst with annoyance if you act as if they don't even exist and aren't worth anything on the ground of your feet.
    Would it be feasible to take a gap year? Tell your mum you want to retake and get better grades and focus on your studies as this will be better for your future in the long run and you'll be able to meet a respectable well educated husband at a better uni. Basically anything she'll lap up. If you do take a gap year and retake, use the idea of getting the grades and moving to a uni far away as motivation and work your butt off. Go to a uni at least 2-3 hours away from where you live and enjoy your freedom. Then once you graduate and get your own job you don't even have to move back to that place
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    Also tell your mum to for once in her life stop giving a crap what the bloody community thinks of her and start putting her daughters needs first
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    Tell your Mum to go **** her self (sorry about swearing) BUT I am sick and tired of how women are expected to domestic chores in Asian culture. They all can piss off, we live in a western country thankfully. You have more rights here.

    Why are women so undermined? They should be more grateful for is, many Asian women work full time have children and manage their housework. Oh, that's because Men are too special and they're a little snowflake. You keep your big mouth, I have a big mouth aswell. Grooms family usually expect their daughter in law to be quiet and do whatever they say (be tolerant). Oh go **** yourself lol. Stupid backwards mentality!

    Women leave their family (parents and siblings) to move in with husbands family and look after them, change her surname and bear his children which are going to have his name anyway. (Takes two to make a baby, but woman are never credited for what they do). Oh and if it's not a boy, wait for hell to break loose. (Thankfully, my family isn't like that).

    If my potential husbands family is like that, they're just asking to get slapped honestly. I'm definitely not doing the house work or anything, if my husband doesn't contribute. 50/50, I don't give a ****.

    Just because she thought one girl is a "****" or whatever in her eyes, doesn't mean men can't be ****s? Double standards much.

    Sorry about the long rant, concerning your hijab.. Take it off if you want to. That's your decision to make. I've seen a lot of Muslim girls without hijab and I don't view them any differently. It's all about good character and inner beauty.

    Edit: Try googling clearing courses tomorrow morning and hopefully something still should be available. What course do you want to study and where about in terms of area? (So I can help you with your search)
    The logic of asian parents is total bs but thank you for the advice x (And I want to study economics btw )
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    Have you contacted any other universities than Cass?
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    (Original post by Pinkberry_y)
    Take the hijab off. If anyone says anything kindly remind them God says in the Quran that only he judges your deeds, not them and maybe they should be focusing on their own morals instead of yours.
    Bi**y people will be bit**s, ignore it, I know easier said than done but it will make them burst with annoyance if you act as if they don't even exist and aren't worth anything on the ground of your feet.
    Would it be feasible to take a gap year? Tell your mum you want to retake and get better grades and focus on your studies as this will be better for your future in the long run and you'll be able to meet a respectable well educated husband at a better uni. Basically anything she'll lap up. If you do take a gap year and retake, use the idea of getting the grades and moving to a uni far away as motivation and work your butt off. Go to a uni at least 2-3 hours away from where you live and enjoy your freedom. Then once you graduate and get your own job you don't even have to move back to that place
    I achieved AAC (don't really think I could do much better if I retook tbh)..the question of a gap year isn't really feasible for me rn...ngl I'm starting to hate my mom cause of how overbearing she is. I might look into transferring (didn't know that was possible) and then feed her some crap about the uni/people at uni being really bad
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The logic of asian parents is total bs but thank you for the advice x (And I want to study economics btw )
    Pisses me off, they should treat both genders equally. Woman make more sacrifices than men anyway.

    Oh alright, perhaps you can apply now for next year? Work full time and earn some money or you can try going through clearing and see what options are available? x

    Edit: just saw your post on transferring.. Call different universities tomorrow to see if they'll accept you. No harm in trying. You achieved AAC so you'll have plenty of good options. Make sure you have your first year results in hand because they may ask for them.
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    (Original post by Zeumryn)
    Have you contacted any other universities than Cass?
    Contacted Newcastle, nottingham, swansea and UEA and they all said the same thing They said that if I didn't already hold a clearing place it would have been possible but because I already hold a place its going to take time to be released etc
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    Pisses me off, they should treat both genders equally. Woman make more sacrifices than men anyway.

    Oh alright, perhaps you can apply now for next year? Work full time and earn some money or you can try going through clearing and see what options are available? x

    Edit: just saw your post on transferring.. Call different universities tomorrow to see if they'll accept you. No harm in trying. You achieved AAC so you'll have plenty of good options. Make sure you have your first year results in hand because they may ask for them.
    My mum would lose her **** if I took a gap year. I can just imagine her comparing me to other peoples daughters and how much of a failure I am for not taking a year out lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My mum would lose her **** if I took a gap year. I can just imagine her comparing me to other peoples daughters and how much of a failure I am for not taking a year out lol
    Tell her you want to earn money for university and be independent? Don't you have any siblings who can help you in this situation?

    She can't exactly do anything, if you take a gap year. Just compare you I guess.
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    Tell her you want to earn money for university and be independent? Don't you have any siblings who can help you in this situation?

    She can't exactly do anything, if you take a gap year. Just compare you I guess.
    I have 5 siblings. 3 are older than me and 2 of them are doctors and the other one is studying dentistry. My grades and the fact that I'm doing an economics degree which wasn't at my firm uni means I'm a failure in their eyes. And lol trust me, my mum would make my life a nightmare if I was to tell her I wanted to take a year out to work in a shop
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have 5 siblings. 3 are older than me and 2 of them are doctors and the other one is studying dentistry. My grades and the fact that I'm doing an economics degree which wasn't at my firm uni means I'm a failure in their eyes. And lol trust me, my mum would make my life a nightmare if I was to tell her I wanted to take a year out to work in a shop
    Oh gosh, she sounds like a nightmare (no offence)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 19 and I'm just so sick of my family and the area I live in and this whole week (especially today) has just got me wanting to escape.

    I'm from a muslim background (but I really don't identify with Islam much), today my mum wanted me to go with her and to read some quran over my dads grave. I refused and said that I didn't want to go and I would prep some of the food for eid tommorrow (the real reason was that I didn't want to stand over his grave and read something I didn't believe in).. When she got back, the food I prepped wasn't to her standards and she said that daughters had to work quicker in the kitchen. I said no, not just daughters, the boys have to do their fair share too. She then ranted about how I'm going to stuggle in life when I'm older cause of my big mouth etc.

    Later on that day, I went to my local shop and I saw some girls from secondary school (we never got on). We literally walked past each other as if we were strangers but I noticed the *****y looks and the smirks on their faces.

    And rn I've been staring at the wall for half an hour thinking about how I want to escape. I hate my family. I hate my area and the people in it. The women here will tut about how tight a girls top is but at the same time her daughter is sucking a guy off behind her back in the park. I also want to take my hijab off (finally convinced my mum) but I'm scared that everyones going to brand me a ****.

    I was meant to move away for uni (I start in september) but I didn't get into my firm. I'm now going to commute from home (before anyone says I can live on the uni campus, its literally 10 mins away from my house so theres no point plus I won't be able to do much there cause everyone I know is in the surrounding areas)..I called up Cass Business School on friday to ask if they could accept me through clearing there but they said I was too late cause I already had a clearing place which would take me at least 2 weeks to be released from and term would have started by then.

    Wtf do I do guys? Everything and everyone is pissing me off. I just want a fresh start. To move away and build a life on my own terms but I feel as if I'm stuck here for at least the next 3 years.
    you don't have to go to uni this year. take a gap year and reapply to unis farther from home. either save up and work at home and go travelling or just get some savings or go do something like be an au pair where you can go to a different country (or just somewhere else in the UK!) and earn money while lookng after kids.


    life is what YOU make of it. if you are unhappy the only way that is going to change is if you do something about it. don't condemn yourself to being unhappy for the next 3 yrs.
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    Oh gosh, she sounds like a nightmare (no offence)
    Ugh tell me about it
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    #1

    (Original post by Moura)
    you don't have to go to uni this year. take a gap year and reapply to unis farther from home. either save up and work at home and go travelling or just get some savings or go do something like be an au pair where you can go to a different country (or just somewhere else in the UK!) and earn money while lookng after kids.


    life is what YOU make of it. if you are unhappy the only way that is going to change is if you do something about it. don't condemn yourself to being unhappy for the next 3 yrs.
    She'll kick me out of the house if I take a gap year. Lol in my culture girls travelling alone is a hugeeee no. I feel like the only feasible option I have rn is transferring in second yr but even thats a long shot. Its my own dumb ass fault for not working hard enough to get into my firm ugh
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She'll kick me out of the house if I take a gap year. Lol in my culture girls travelling alone is a hugeeee no. I feel like the only feasible option I have rn is transferring in second yr but even thats a long shot. Its my own dumb ass fault for not working hard enough to get into my firm ugh
    If you want to, you can run away. Of course she'll go mad but it would look bad on their part and I don't think she will literally kill you. If you have a good friend maybe to stay with for a while and maybe get a part time job or something. Did you not say that you don't believe in the religion? So to hell with girl's travelling alone. Your mom is a girl and she's probably gone travelling alone to go to the shop. A normal thing for anyone. So it's contradictory.
 
 
 
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